Elijah Valenzuela

Elijah Valenzuela
Basic Information
Team	Hawaii Fridays
Status	Alive, Intact
Biographical Details
Pronouns	he/him
Side Hustle	Socialist revolution

Elijah Valenzuela is a batter for the Hawaii Fridays. Valenzuela has been a member of the team since Season 1.

Elijah is regarded by both scouts and the Society for Internet Blaseball Research as one of the most anticapitalist players in blaseball. He is accordingly a fan favorite as well as a hero of the proletariat. He bats first in the order and is renowned for stealing homes both on and off the blaseball field. Not only has Elijah stolen Fourth Base on multiple occasions during league play, but for every base he steals during a game, he also liberates a vacant mainlander vacation home and gives it to unhoused Hawaiians in need of good Vibes.

Sam and Solis' Passing

Elijah was notably upset by the sudden passing of Sam Solis while pitching against the Charleston Shoe Thieves. At the post-game cookout, when asked what he thought of the formal investigation calling Solis' passing "natural causes," his only reply was, "Is that they're calling it?" and walked away.

Gallery

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  Season 3 Tlopps card.