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| − | {{Rumor Header|term={{{$1|Rumor}}}}}
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| − | Hypothetically, "Alyssa Harrell" might exist, and if she did, she would be completely justified in any hypothetical crimes she might choose to commit. Hypothetically, on the day she was hypothetically swapped with the [[Hawaii Fridays]]' Dadly Bradley, she might have hypothetically absorbed his Dad Vibes and become the de facto second mother of the Fridays (after, of course, Our Lady of Perpetual Friday).
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| − | No one has ever seen, heard, touched, smelled, tasted, heard from, heard of, located, tracked, watched, spied on, sensed, felt, looked at, listened to, talked to, conversed with, or were able to discern anything about "Alyssa Harrell." Anything you might have heard about "Alyssa Harrell" is complete hearsay. It is impossible to describe "Alyssa Harrell" because she does not exist.
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| − | Notably, she has not paid taxes since 2009. This is notable because it is impossible for this information to be recorded, because she does not exist.
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