Topic on Talk:Bauer Zimmerman

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Here's a summary of the lore #jazzhands in maincord came up with:

Bauer Zimmerman is a transmasc Jewish former cowboy who quit cowboying and became a blaseball player because he's afraid of horses. He tends to monologue at other players, about blaseball, cowboying, their failed romances, etc. Other players find their long stories very boring, but once or twice the story has been brilliant. Those monologues often include Bauer sharing (or oversharing) their emotions at length, especially about their exes. He speaks many languages, including English, Spanish, German, Yiddish, Hebrew, and Ute. He hits home runs because he's dated every first baseperson in the league and doesn't want to stand on first. He uses his cowboy skills to herd the Jazz Hands to games, lectures them to keep them out of trouble, and is the Head Lowe Wrangler. He performs slam poetry for the Jazz Hands.