Theodore Passon

Theodore Passon is a batter for the Miami Dalé.

Passon reportedly strives to keep his score always finishing in a 1/2-star rating. According to witnesses, he has on more than one occasion responded with "barely concealed frustration and anger" at being given a round number of stars as his evaluation. When reached for comment, Passon explained: "Well it's not... It just isn't... How could you- uh-" before mumbling unintelligibly, knocking the interviewer's hat into the harbor and running the other way.

Passon's biggest goal is one day attaining the elusive 5-and-a-half star rating.