Theodore Holloway
Theodore “Teddy” Holloway is a two-and-a-half-star pitcher for the Houston Spies. She is also afflicted with the rare condition Ursanthropy, which is similar to the more well-known Lycanthropy, or wlerewolfism. What this condition entails is the nightly transformation from an average lesbian gentlewoman, to a human-sized pink stuffed bear.
In interviews, Teddy has stated that her condition in no way impedes her ability to play. “Yeah, each form has its advantages,” she told reporters on Thursday. “Like, I can throw with more precision as a human, but like, at night I have strong bear arms, which is pretty sick. I give great hugs!” Following the statement, interviewers reported that Teddy does, indeed, give great hugs.
Based on current understandings of medical science, it is theorized that because Teddy regularly transforms into an apparently non-living plush toy, she herself is a non-living being. The nature of this existence outside of life or undeath is currently unknown.
