Difference between revisions of "Sutton Dreamy"

Revision as of 13:11, 5 August 2020

Sutton Dreamy is a player for the Baltimore Crabs. Sutton has been voted "Sexiest Blaseball Player" more years than any other player in the league. Crabs fans can often be seen sporting their uniform in support of their excellence, which consists of a tank top made of ripped fishnet to represent Crab freedom and also looking sexy.

It has been theorized that Dreamy is a two dimensional being who dreamed so hard of the third dimension they reached it. When asked about this in interviews, Dreamy responds only with a laugh described by Sporbs Inundated as "impossibly alluring."

When pressed on their relaxed attitude to the game, Dreamy has said "I haven't had a chance to stretch my legs in years. Get off my damn back. How on earth do you expect me to get a breather while being pelted by balls? I hate this damn game."

Dreamy has never been seen dressed in anything other than their Crabs uniform, and it is unlikely that they can take it off.

Birth and Early Life

Dreamy was reportedly brought into being by teammate Combs Duende, when Duende was asked during a team-building exercise to draw "the perfect Blaseball player". Dreamy emerged from the page fully formed like a Blaseball-bat-wielding Athena, and was recruited for the Crabs immediately.

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 Sutton Dreamy is a player for the [[Baltimore Crabs]]. Sutton has been voted "Sexiest Blaseball Player" more years than any other player in the league. Crabs fans can often be seen sporting their uniform in support of their excellence, which consists of a tank top made of ripped fishnet to represent Crab freedom and also looking sexy.
-It has been theorized<sup>[by whom?]</sup> that Dreamy is a two dimensional being who dreamed so hard of the third dimension they reached it. When asked about this in interviews, Dreamy responds only with a laugh described by ''Sporbs Inundated'' as "impossibly alluring."
+It has been theorized that Dreamy is a two dimensional being who dreamed so hard of the third dimension they reached it. When asked about this in interviews, Dreamy responds only with a laugh described by ''Sporbs Inundated'' as "impossibly alluring."
-When pressed on their relaxed attitude to the game, Dreamy asserted that [sic] "[They] haven't had a chance to stretch [their] legs in years. Get off [their] damn back. How on earth do you expect [them] get a breather when being pelted by balls? [They] hate this damn game."
+When pressed on their relaxed attitude to the game, Dreamy has said "I haven't had a chance to stretch my legs in years. Get off my damn back. How on earth do you expect me to get a breather while being pelted by balls? I hate this damn game."
+Dreamy has never been seen dressed in anything other than their Crabs uniform, and it is unlikely that they can take it off.
+==Birth and Early Life ==
+Dreamy was reportedly brought into being by teammate Combs Duende, when Duende was asked during a team-building exercise to draw "the perfect Blaseball player". Dreamy emerged from the page fully formed like a Blaseball-bat-wielding Athena, and was recruited for the Crabs immediately.
 [[Category:Players]]
 [[Category:Baltimore Crabs]]
 [[Category:Players with a Tlopps card]]