Sol

The sun, a white-hot sphere of burning plasma at the center of the solar system, roughly 800,000 miles in diameter, comprised of approximately 73% hydrogen, 25% helium, and 3% "special sauce", having been formed almost twenty years ago by a gravitational collapse of matter so great it precipitated nuclear fusion at its central point, scheduled currently to burn out when the last Blaseball pitch is thrown, the point of reference for a number of calendars, worshipped in many cultures as a deity, the brightest object visible from Earth as well as one of the brighter stars in the galaxy, emitting deadly beams that both nourish and burn, inescapable and inevitable, to be feared and loved like nothing else, our curse and our burden, is the head coach of the Hellmouth Sunbeams.