Ruslan Greatness
Rusian Greatness is a pitcher for the Philly Pies. Born Ruslan Fairfield, he was ironically given the name "Greatness" by his high school blaseball teammates on account of his poor play. A Pies scout, running behind and suffering from severe anxiety, failed to grasp the irony and signed Greatness on the spot. Ruslan's weakness comes from his massively overdeveloped body. A towering 7 feet of strongman muscle, Ruslan would otherwise be well-suited to being a formidable batter, but his bulging muscles impede his pitching. Ruslan's teammates beg him to change positions, but he considers batting crass and uncouth. "No bat," says Ruslan. "Only throw." Outside the game, Ruslan can be found weightlifting and participating in strongman and powerlifting competitions.
Despite sandbagging the Pies early in his career, they were unable to get rid of him due to a poorly written contract. He has since proven himself by winning numerous clutch games, although it is unclear whether he is actually playing well or if the rest of the team is just stepping up to compensate for his lack of skill.
Ruslan's nigh-impenetrable but unidentified Eastern European accent befuddles his fans. When asked, he claims to be from Conshohoken.
