Conner Haley
Conner Haley is a pitcher for the Dallas Steaks. While arguably one of their worst pitchers, Conner is also the most dedicated to the team's grill-loving aesthetic.
Conner speaks very little, except on the topic of meat. He has an extensive knowledge of cooking, smoking, and grilling, which he puts to use during pre- and post-game rituals. Team members have noted that nearly all of their conversations with Conner have involved meat, despite their best efforts.
Whether in conversation, during a game, or even when grilling, Conner's eyes are always focused somewhere to the right of his intended target. The exact cause is unclear; speculation ranges from a visual impairment, to a motor tic, to the effects of exposure to blaseball. Conner refuses to acknowledge this behavior, and grows frustrated or even hostile when confronted about this quirk.
Due to his lack of enthusiasm about nearly any topic, interviews with Conner have been unsuccessful in providing much background on the player. His interests in meat stop short of explaining the source of his fascination, and almost all conversations return to his preferred topic. His most informative answer that did not circle back to meat or grilling was in response to a question about his home town: "I'm from Dallas. Well, I don't live in Dallas, but it's Dallas."
