Difference between revisions of "Baldwin Breadwinner"

Revision as of 19:23, 30 July 2020

Baldwin Breadwinner is a player for the Los Angeles Tacos. Breadwinner has been a member of the team since Season 1.

Life Before Blaseball

Baldwin Breadwinner's life history is surprisingly shrouded in mystery. He has no known living or unliving relatives, and despite him having had a legal name change, all documents concerning his past had been mysteriously wisped into the air, floating along the harsh breeze until they met the document-destroying jaws of a nearby incinerator. When asked about this in various interviews, Baldwin responded vaguely, saying that "Yeah, I tried to make a pact with the Dark God Beelzeblase in order to give up half my life in order to completely erase my past, among other things. I'm not really sure if it went through, since the summoning was pretty sloppy, and I didn't see anything or anyone when I started dripping my blood in, but a day later, all of my 'The Game of Life' boards that were sitting in my closet had been cut in half. So, you know. Maybe that worked, but the Dark God probably misunderstood the deal."

When pressed on his name before his legal change, Baldwin was recorded as speaking it, but the interviewing correspondent suddenly became deaf, her vision became completely red, and she vomited out an unknown, jet black substance that melted through the floor. The recording glitches around the moment he says his name. Breadwinner, soon after, responds with "Hey! Thanks for the assist, bro," and the correspondent recovered from their demonic episode a few hours later.

Other interviewers attempted to follow up on details concerning his deals with the Dark God Beelzeblase, but he wasn't really too sure what worked and what didn't himself. "I tried to make a deal with him to make me an ungodly powerful Blaseball player," he states. He continues, saying "But he said 'man, no, that sounds boring as hell. why don't you just get good', so I did that instead." Various other attempted deals with the devil were largely frivolous.

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 Baldwin Breadwinner is a player for the [[Los Angeles Tacos]]. Breadwinner has been a member of the team since [[Season 1]].
+<br />
+== Life Before Blaseball ==
+Baldwin Breadwinner's life history is surprisingly shrouded in mystery. He has no known living or unliving relatives, and despite him having had a legal name change, all documents concerning his past had been mysteriously wisped into the air, floating along the harsh breeze until they met the document-destroying jaws of a nearby incinerator. When asked about this in various interviews, Baldwin responded vaguely, saying that ''"Yeah, I tried to make a pact with the Dark God Beelzeblase in order to give up half my life in order to completely erase my past, among other things. I'm not really sure if it went through, since the summoning was pretty sloppy, and I didn't see anything or anyone when I started dripping my blood in, but a day later, all of my 'The Game of Life' boards that were sitting in my closet had been cut in half. So, you know. Maybe that worked, but the Dark God probably misunderstood the deal."''
+When pressed on his name before his legal change, Baldwin was recorded as speaking it, but the interviewing correspondent suddenly became deaf, her vision became completely red, and she vomited out an unknown, jet black substance that melted through the floor. The recording glitches around the moment he says his name. Breadwinner, soon after, responds with ''"Hey! Thanks for the assist, bro,"'' and the correspondent recovered from their demonic episode a few hours later.
+Other interviewers attempted to follow up on details concerning his deals with the Dark God Beelzeblase, but he wasn't really too sure what worked and what didn't himself. ''"I tried to make a deal with him to make me an ungodly powerful Blaseball player,"'' he states. He continues, saying ''"But he said '''<u>'man, no, that sounds boring as hell. why don't you just get good'</u>''', so I did that instead."'' Various other attempted deals with the devil were largely frivolous.
 [[Category:Players]]