Adalberto Tosser
Adalberto Tosser is a player for the Baltimore Crabs, beloved by countless blaseball fans but banned from almost every bar in town. His "rambunctious antics" off the field have made him something of a regular figure in the scandal pages and gossip blogs, but is it is largely agreed [by who?] that this doesn't detract from his reputation as a solid, respectable, thoroughly middling player.
Early Life
Certain followers of The Olde One believe that Tosser is not Adalberto's last name but rather a title bestowed on a chosen one in each generation. According to these beliefs previous Tosser incarnations include bird fan Edgar Allan Poe and filmmaker John Waters.
Adalberto is said to have realised their Tosser destiny when a swarm of porcelain crabs emerged from their bathroom wall, shifted in the form of a giant eye and winked at him.
Professional Career
Adalberto Tosser has one large arm that is 6 feet long below the elbow. His arm is widely attributed for being the key to his legendary pitching success, as demonstrated in the last game of Season 2. Two popular fan chants associated with Adalberto Tosser are "Tosser's gonna toss ya' / 'em / it" and "Adal-berto" followed by two claps, spaced two beats apart, and then three claps, spaced 1/4 of a beat apart.
In XX43, Tosser pioneered the "hardball", a pitch exclusive to the Crabs in which the ball is filled with a small crustacean who pilots it on its way to the batter. The ball's pilot does not count as a player, as while the rulebook specifically allows crabs to play blaseball, there's no rules against them choosing not to even while technically participating in the splort.
