UserWiki:UnabashedlyRose

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

The Olde One (also known as The Mother Crab, Mr. Trash Wheel, The Deep One, They Who Lay In Slumber Under The Oldest Bay, Mom, The Indomitable Snip, She of the Eternal Shuffle, He of the Omniscent Ommatophores, “That There Big Crab”, Our Lady of the Impenecrable Shell, Ny'el'g'shuth Sh'ai'c'll'll'claroth, and Big Debrah) is the corpse-god of Chesapeake Bay, and matron diety to the Baltimore Crabs.

Prayers for Mother Crab

“I need my hands to stop shaking every time I pick up a bat. It’s killing me to just watch the ball fly by and not be able to move. It’s like a weight in my chest. I’ve tried everything I could think of but nothing makes it better. We even won again! But I just couldn’t stop looking up at that gaping hole in the sky. Wondering if it would be another ten years until I could come back home. And I just couldn't do it.”

“I’ve never thought much about time. Not in the way that other people do. I think you’re the same way. You exist in perpetuity. Your best and worst traits are always there. Your final words echoing back to the day you first emerged. Is that why we can still hear you so long after you’ve died? Is that why we still miss you so long after we made the choice not to? ”

“The finals are coming up. This could be it. The last game we play before we ascend. I know we messed it up last time, but I have a feeling this could be it. I wish it wasn’t me pitching - it’s so stressful to have all these expectations on one person. But don’t worry - I won’t let it all fall on one. That’s why there are so many of us right? We can do anything together. Oh sorry right that’s probably insensitive of me to say. Sorry! “

The Next section

This is where the IRM will go