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| − | ==A Forest Fae’s Found Family== | + | === Our Favorite 23 Times Mike Townsend Wore His Own Merch 😍 === |
| | + | ''Like you wouldn't if you were famous'' |
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| − | Fairwood Patchwork is a fae who represents The Forest that makes up the upper-outfield of [[The Big Garage]]. No one is entirely certain how long Patchwork has lived within the Grove, in large part because Patch does not perceive linear time in the same way the majority of humans and human-adjacent creatures do. However, {{RandomPronoun|lower|subject|has|have|save=true|table={{User:FAE/beegpronountableclone}}}} referred to spending time with both [[Bennett Browning]], and [[Derrick Krueger]], so {{RandomPronoun|lower|subject|has|have|save=true|table={{User:FAE/beegpronountableclone}}}} been a fixture of The Forest since at least Season 3.
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| − | Fairwood Patchwork’s gender identity--and consequently, pronouns--shift to mirror that of the observer. Therefore, to teammate [[Mike Townsend]], Patchwork appears masculine. When talking with [[Wyatt Mason X]], xe uses xe/xem exclusively, and while having conversations with [[Betsy Trombone]], Patchwork identifies as A Problem. This article reflects the pronouns that Patchwork has most recently mirrored.
| + | What do you wear when you risk your life to resurrect your friend, become one of the first ILB players to explore the shadows, and hit a grand slam? Apparently, your own merch! Who knew! Keep scrolling for our top 23 moments of Mike wearing Mike! |
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| − | Patchwork does not consider {{RandomPronoun|lower|reflexive|save=true|table={{User:FAE/beegpronountableclone}}}} much of a vocalist, but plays a wide variety of instruments, ranging from Banjo, to Bone-flute (Vulture), to a self-carved hand-harp, to Bone-Flute (Mammoth).
| + | ==== 23. Mike wearing a Skarages Hat to Olive Garden ==== |
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| − | {{RandomPronoun|upper|subject|is|are|save=true|table={{User:FAE/beegpronountableclone}}}} an exceptional crafts-fae, and sews all {{RandomPronoun|lower|adjective|save=true|table={{User:FAE/beegpronountableclone}}}} own clothing, including the cloak of flannel {{RandomPronoun|lower|subject|sports|sport|save=true|table={{User:FAE/beegpronountableclone}}}} whenever {{RandomPronoun|lower|subject|takes|take|save=true|table={{User:FAE/beegpronountableclone}}}} the field. Sewn together from the upcycled remains of a myriad of fabrics, the brightly colored cloak makes a dramatic statement whenever {{RandomPronoun|lower|subject|takes|take|save=true|table={{User:FAE/beegpronountableclone}}}} to the field. {{RandomPronoun|upper|subject|has|have|save=true|table={{User:FAE/beegpronountableclone}}}} also taken to repairing the myriad of holes in the team’s garments. If there’s one thing grunge anarcho-communists are good at, it’s getting clothes filthy and torn. No matter how frequently seams are blown or knees torn out Fairwood is always available with a smile and a needle and thread. Patches tend to not mesh perfectly with the original design, but the occasional garish hues tend to enhance the team’s ramshackle vibes. Though {{RandomPronoun|lower|subject|does|do|save=true|table={{User:FAE/beegpronountableclone}}}} not mend for free, {{RandomPronoun|lower|adjective|save=true|table={{User:FAE/beegpronountableclone}}}} payments are minimal, and tailored to each request. {{RandomPronoun|upper|adjective|save=true|table={{User:FAE/beegpronountableclone}}}} work is most frequently done for the cost of an oddly shaped pebble, a bag full of litter disposed of properly, or a story told at her side while {{RandomPronoun|lower|subject|works|work|save=true|table={{User:FAE/beegpronountableclone}}}}. | + | {{Alert Box |
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| − | ==Season 21, Day 57==
| + | Olive Garden is certainly a place that could be considered a restaur... |
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| − | Patchwork first appeared in response to a tragic showing from pitcher Betsy Trombone. As the tenth run sailed into the trees, and the second digit lit up upon the scoreboard, the ball was returned to the field, held like some holy relic by the ethereal figure from the forest. {{RandomPronoun|upper|subject|approached|approached|save=true|table={{User:FAE/beegpronountableclone}}}} the pitcher's mound, still holding the ball, and cleared {{RandomPronoun|lower|adjective|save=true|table={{User:FAE/beegpronountableclone}}}} throat. “I wish to play [[Blaseball|The Splort]].” {{RandomPronoun|lower|subject|announced|announced|save=true|table={{User:FAE/beegpronountableclone}}}}. Betsy rolled her eyes, said something profane, and stomped their way to the dugout to let this new player have a chance.
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| − | ==Life in The Garage== | + | ==== 22. Mike wearing a signed flannel on his flight to Baltimore ==== |
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| − | There is some amount of friction between Patchwork and accidental-team captain [[Theodore Duende]]. Fae of the Forests and Fae of the Home are well known rivals, and as a Duende, Theodore has been slow to trust the team’s new player. However, his plan of “Nobody make eye contact and he’ll just go away” appears to be failing miserably, and it’s hoped that they’ll both come around eventually[citation needed].
| + | Did Mike sign a flannel and then put it on, or did he happen to have a spare signed flannel around? Either way, this look... |
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| − | Fairwood has returned to {{RandomPronoun|lower|adjective|save=true|table={{User:FAE/beegpronountableclone}}}} Grove within The Forest on multiple occasions, leaving only with cryptic messages regarding {{RandomPronoun|lower|adjective|save=true|table={{User:FAE/beegpronountableclone}}}} eventual return. On the first of such journeys, [[Mcdowell Karim]] took {{RandomPronoun|lower|adjective|save=true|table={{User:FAE/beegpronountableclone}}}} place on the mound. Upon {{RandomPronoun|lower|adjective|save=true|table={{User:FAE/beegpronountableclone}}}} return, {{RandomPronoun|lower|subject|declared|declared|save=true|table={{User:FAE/beegpronountableclone}}}} that The Stalk Market Greenhouse was not large enough, and has taken to expanding the rooftop garden that once belonged to Paula Turnip, and can frequently be seen sleeping amongst the flowering plants and [[Lotus Mango|Lotii]]. Curiously, after each time {{RandomPronoun|lower|subject|has|have|save=true|table={{User:FAE/beegpronountableclone}}}} left for The Grove, {{RandomPronoun|lower|subject|returns|return|save=true|table={{User:FAE/beegpronountableclone}}}} to tell of differing conversations with various Garages. {{RandomPronoun|lower|subject|claims|claim|save=true|table={{User:FAE/beegpronountableclone}}}} Derrick Kruger is teaching {{RandomPronoun|lower|object|save=true|table={{User:FAE/beegpronountableclone}}}} how to pitch better, though given {{RandomPronoun|lower|adjective|save=true|table={{User:FAE/beegpronountableclone}}}} casual disregard for past, present, and future tense, what is truly going on in The Forest Grove is anyone’s guess.
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| − | When interviewed for “The [[Seattle Garages Lil' Roadies|Lil' Roadies]] Lil' Morning Show”, Pulitzer Prize Winning Journalist Abigail Funke (Age 9) asked Patchwork to describe what drew {{RandomPronoun|lower|object|save=true|table={{User:FAE/beegpronountableclone}}}} to Blaseball in the first place. The fae explained that {{RandomPronoun|lower|subject|had|had|save=true|table={{User:FAE/beegpronountableclone}}}} learned to play The Splort in {{RandomPronoun|lower|adjective|save=true|table={{User:FAE/beegpronountableclone}}}} discussions with Derrick Krueger, and expressed distress at the idea that he was “Gone forever”. Later in the interview, Mz. Funke asked what Patchwork’s favorite food was, to which {{RandomPronoun|lower|subject|responded|responded|save=true|table={{User:FAE/beegpronountableclone}}}}: “The discomfort of people who leave things in the woods”
| + | ==== 21. Mike wearing a pair of Mike Townsend and the Seattle Garages fingerless gloves while scrolling through Ebay ==== |
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| | + | This picture, as seen on Magi Ruiz's Instlagram story, is proof that Mike even wears his own merch at home! What an absolute... |
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Our Favorite 23 Times Mike Townsend Wore His Own Merch 😍
Like you wouldn't if you were famous
Thank you for supporting Bluzzfeed!
We rely on supporters of independent journalism to keep going.
Subscribers get to read Bluzzfeed without ads.
What do you wear when you risk your life to resurrect your friend, become one of the first ILB players to explore the shadows, and hit a grand slam? Apparently, your own merch! Who knew! Keep scrolling for our top 23 moments of Mike wearing Mike!
23. Mike wearing a Skarages Hat to Olive Garden
ADVERTISEMENT
Did you or a loved one get attacked by a consumer? Join the class action lawsuit now.
Contact the Mexico City Wild Wings fast, before the settlement dies with the entire concept of money.
Olive Garden is certainly a place that could be considered a restaur...
DOWNLOAD THE BLUZZFEED APP
Be the first to get today's 🔥 HOTTEST 🔥 news, gossip, and more!
22. Mike wearing a signed flannel on his flight to Baltimore
Did Mike sign a flannel and then put it on, or did he happen to have a spare signed flannel around? Either way, this look...
ADVERTISEMENT
HOTDOGFINGERS FOR MAYOR
We don't know if she's planning on running but we liked her!
21. Mike wearing a pair of Mike Townsend and the Seattle Garages fingerless gloves while scrolling through Ebay
This picture, as seen on Magi Ruiz's Instlagram story, is proof that Mike even wears his own merch at home! What an absolute...
Thanks for reading Bluzzfeed.
Create an account or log in to continue reading.
By continuing, you agree to the Terms of Service and acknowledge our Privacy Policy.
