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| − | The following document was decrypted by Mooney Doctor II through a refurbished cryptographic cipher machine combined with a radio transceiver that she built in her spare time. It appears to reference Halifax, but as it was found after his death, the resemblance between Halifax and the person detailed in this document cannot be confirmed.
| + | Hi--I'm Cori! She/her, I'm a Garages fan. You can find me in Maincord or in the Big Garage! |
| − | {{Alert Box
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| − | | image = File:ARROW SUN.png
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| − | | header = CLASSIFIED
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| − | | text = THIS REPORT IS ONLY FOR EMPLOYEES OF LEVEL M RANK OR HIGHER.
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| − | ANY EMPLOYEE OF LOWER RANK CAUGHT READING IT WILL BE TERMINATED.
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| − | ANY EMPLOYEE WITH INFORMATION ABOUT THE WANTED PERSONS BELOW SHOULD CONTACT EXT. *8185 IMMEDIATELY.}}
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| − | == MISSING EMPLOYEE REPORT ==
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| − | !Date:
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| − | !XX-XX-XXXX
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| − | |'''NAME''':
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| − | |HALIFAX, JON
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| − | |'''ALIAS:'''
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| − | |N/A
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| − | |'''JOB TITLE:'''
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| − | |ASSASSIN
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| − | |'''DEPARTMENT''':
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| − | |CLEANUP AND DISPOSAL
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| − | |'''HT''':
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| − | |6’1
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| − | |'''COFFEE STYLE''':
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| − | |LATTE
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| − | |HAIR:
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| − | |SALT AND PEPPER
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| − | |'''BLOOD''':
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| − | |"AAA"
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| − | |'''EYES''':
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| − | |TEAL
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| − | |AGE:
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| − | |40
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| − | |'''CURRENT STATUS''':
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| − | |MISSING IN ACTION
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| − | |'''LAST RECORDED TRANSMISSION:'''
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| − | |SEASON 23 DAY 63
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| − | |'''LAST RECORDED LOCATION:'''
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| − | |LIGHTSIDE – KANSAS CITY FRESHDOME
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| − | |'''CAUSE OF ABSENCE:'''
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| − | |PRESUMED DECEASED
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| − | |}
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| − | <br />
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| − | == INFORMATION ==
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| − | HALIFAX was sent to LIGHTSIDE on assignment to investigate the CRAB LLC corporation on special order from UPPER MANAGEMENT. Being a member of the CLEANUP AND DISPOSAL department, HALIFAX was assigned a specific target of one HARMONY HENDERSON, CEO and heiress to the CRAB LLC fortune. HALIFAX was assigned the mission to DISPOSE OF Henderson and was told not to return until she had been eliminated.
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| − | HALIFAX is known for his somewhat unusual style of diversion. In training, those who instructed him speculated that his personal strategy is to appear so incompetent and foolish as to be nonthreatening.
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| − | Nevertheless, HALIFAX has been promoted several times and has maintained a regular pattern of information transmission about the state of his current mission. A number of these transmissions from the period of SEASON 17 to SEASON 23 have been included in his file as audio files.
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| − | HALIFAX is trained in a number of martial arts, stealth techniques, and weapon styles and has earned his BAZOOKA OPERATION and KNITTING certificates.
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| − | After entering the city of SHADOW BALTIMORE, HALIFAX took the spot of the LIGHTSIDE equivalent of one L. ACEVEDO, who was ELIMINATED by a ROGUE UMPIRE attack, of the horrific sort that is common in LIGHTSIDE. HALIFAX integrated himself into the LIGHTSIDE BALTIMORE CRABS pitching rotation fairly smoothly, though he was removed and put on reserve rotation at one point due to a lack of practical progress in athletics.
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| − | HALIFAX reported in Audio Log 17.14 that he had developed an “ingenious” manner of hiding his SYNERGY arrows and eye color by way of wearing MIRRORED SUNGLASSES and covering up his forearms with KNIT ORANGE ARM-WARMERS. The disguise, while unorthodox, appears to have fulfilled its function, as at no point during the course of his mission has HALIFAX reported his cover being blown or his true intentions being revealed.
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| − | At the end of SEASON 22, according to Audio Log 23.00, HALIFAX was approached by members of the LIGHTSIDE KANSAS CITY BREATH MINTS in an interaction that ended with HALIFAX being “knocked out in a ditch by the attack of a very large bug.” HALIFAX reported returning to consciousness inside of the KANSAS CITY FRESHDOME stadium wearing a different uniform than he had put on that morning. He inferred that he must have been removed by Lightside league forces from the city of SHADOW BALTIMORE and sent by trade to SHADOW KANSAS CITY. As the trade was not a Feedback-related trade, HALIFAX’s blood did not have any effect at preventing this action. HALIFAX’s Corporation-issued BAZOOKA appears to have been pilfered by said “very large bug” and to this day has not been recovered.
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| − | HALIFAX was, in SEASON 23, switched to the LIGHTSIDE KANSAS CITY BREATH MINTS’ Lineup, which was notably far below regulation size and far below anything that would be considered a sensible number DARKSIDE. In subsequent AUDIO LOGS, Halifax described SHADOW KANSAS CITY as being “uncomfortably wide and out in the open,” and subject to unusual audiovisual weather patterns that scrambled the patterns of his knitting. Research into the detected reverberation phenomena has yielded few results.
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| − | According to Audio Log 23.55, HALIFAX acquired a piece of REBEL PARAPHERNALIA in the form of GOLDEN ROCK SUNGLASSES, which he incorporated into his existing DISGUISE. The functionality of this addition is debatable as the SUNGLASSES appear to have attracted a significant amount of ATTENTION to HALIFAX’s presence on the BREATH MINTS, leading to an incident several days later, which was detailed in Audio Log 23.58.
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| − | The following is an excerpt from Audio Log 23.58.
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| − | I don’t know what happened. I was facing down the Crabs—the team I was sent here to, if you’ll remember—the Suns—there are far too many suns here, have I said this before?—The Suns were beating down on me, and I could feel the sweat running down my neck, the Suns are far too hot here, it’s enough to drive someone crazy—I picked up my bat and tried to swing—the ball went right between the two bars of that horrible Equal Sun—I wondered for a fleeting moment whether I had killed it, because there was this sickening cracking sound—something broke, I think—can suns break?—the whole Breath Mints crowd, as rowdy and inscrutable as they are, were cheering—what they were cheering about, I don’t know—the Crabs looked furious, and specifically this one, with the cowboy hat and a dark gleam in her eye—she pointed directly at me with her bat and I had the sudden sense that she must be a counteragent sent to foil my mission—and on top of all of that I’m fairly certain the game ended in a tie, and I didn’t think that could even happen—I’ll keep you all updated with my next transmission.
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| − | No further audio logs since Audio Log 23.58 have been received from HALIFAX, and as such he is considered to be MISSING IN ACTION. Detailed below are a list of belongings HALIFAX reported as being in his possession at the last time of information transmission.
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| − | * Kansas City Breath Mints uniform
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| − | * Baltimore Crabs uniform (Decommissioned)
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| − | * Audio transmission device
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| − | * Arrow Cola flask
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| − | * Disguise glasses with funny nose and mustache
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| − | * Sunglasses, mirrored
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| − | * Sunglasses, Golden Rock
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| − | * Suit jackets and pants, identical (6)
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| − | * JamPad + cell phone with various apps loaded onto it
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| − | * Prank handshake buzzer
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| − | * Complimentary vampire supply kit (from Baltimore Crabs)
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