Denim Alfredo is the code name for an individual who plays for the Ohio Worms. Denim adopted this name as a secret agent, allegedly associated with the mysterious “Sandy Loam.” After using this code name on one of Blaseball’s infamous Legally Binding Contracts™, Denim Alfredo became the individual’s true and (ultimately) accepted name. Denim is genderfluid, and usually goes by Deni, Alfie, or Denny.

Deni has been a dimension-hopping secret agent for approximately a decade, with a career spanning dozens of special operations. One of her earlier exploits was going undercover as an opera singer. That particular operation involved 4 years of study at Oberlin College in Ohio, long before Deni’s eventual arrival in Wapakoneta. Another expedition saw her investigating an unspecified space mystery. Few are privileged to the details of this episode, but one astronaut was quoted as asking “Who was that space cowboy person?” at the conclusion of the mission. A particularly notable stage in Deni’s life was a long-lasting mission within the Akron drag community, where Deni became a moderately renowned drag performer. Her drag name, “Denim Alfredo,” stuck with her past that adventure and, of course, to the present time.

Rumors abound that Alfie is a shapeshifter, although no definitive evidence has been produced. Those who cleave to this conspiracy note all of the artistic patches on Alfie’s well-worn jacket, which depict him in a variety of wildly different guises-including some in which individual body parts seem to bear no resemblance to those of an average human. For his part, Alfie claims (with a wry smile) that the visages in the jacket are merely interpretations of his various missions, and not intended to be literal depictions. When asked about a patch that bore some resemblance to Ephraim Ladd, Alfie suddenly ended a press conference, mumbling an excuse that included multiple instances of the word “Oops.”

Denny’s time as a secret agent has resulted in any number of talents, ranging from simple “party tricks” to “thank goodness someone here knows how to fix the pitching machine.” Among other talents, Denny is proficient in the pipe organ. She is also a well-versed square dancer and an amateur geologist. Denny insists that she doesn’t retain most of her opera talent, but those in rooms near her at the Cottage will attest that she sings for at least an hour on an average night.

Denny’s room at the Cottage is, as one might expect, the stuff of secret agency. Some manner of hidden device opens a wall leading to a large corridor decorated with fine art, which Denny claims (convincingly) is not stolen, and further states (less convincingly) was created in this dimension. There are hidden compartments and secret chests throughout, even for seemingly mundane objects like makeup and breath mints. Denny maintains an animatronic gecko costume in working condition on full display in one corner of the room. Denny, unlike most denizens of the Cottage, appears able to slip out of the complex without needing to use one of the primary methods of egress. She has confided to a few close friends that she is able to open doors that most people are totally unable to see. It’s not clear what this means, but Denny has built a reputation as someone who is able to be, in all practicality, two places at once.

Alfie has been varyingly described as either a disciple of Xandra Pancakes, or as Sandy Loam’s primary contact for the investigation into Dark Seattle. No further information is currently available as to these rumors. Alfie maintains relationships with Worms players including Arturo Huerta, whom he constantly peppers with questions about Dark Seattle. Alfie suspects that McDowell Mason may be a shapeshifter (just like Alfie???), and is always watching to try and catch him shifting. Alfie's relationship with Jacob Winner is still evolving, as Alfie wants to be friends, but Jacob doesn't quite get his jokes yet. Alfie also maintains a minor grudge against former Worms and Garages player Farrell Seagull, based on a misunderstanding about a parking spot.

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