Difference between revisions of "Legscraper"

Revision as of 09:23, 17 January 2021

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Description

The Legscraper is the Tokyo Lift's stadium and home. The influences of the formerly deific legs it is built on and the mysterious cave system above which it is often stationed have turned the dumbbell-shaped skyscraper into a (relatively) benevolent entity. Members of the Lift can navigate the ever-shifting hallways and empty rooms of the tower with little problem, and fans are channelled straight to the elevators leading to the rooftop stadium. Visiting teams and certain other groups, however, may become hopelessly lost until discovered by Lift staff; one party of Dilsney executives became trapped in an office-supplies cupboard for seventeen days, surviving on glue sticks and fluid squeezed from anti-static screen wipes. The origins of the Legscraper are known to few. Although the Lazarus Pit is now common knowledge in certain circles, the legs that support the Legscraper are dismissed as products of Dilsneyland Tokyo or an aspect of the Pit. The only ones aware of the Legscraper's true nature are players Nandy Slumps, Stijn Strongbody, and Knight Triumphant.

History

The land that became home to the Legscraper was already notable before Walt Dilsney bought and half-built a theme park over it, and it is strongly speculated that Dilsney chose this location because of the pit’s presence.

LAZARUS PIT

Documented by the avid splortsman known only as Mehashirou during the Kamakura Period (and named by the Walt Dilsney Corporation), the Lazarus Pit is an underground cavern and associated body of water containing magic that encourages fitness and health. Prior to Dilsney’s creation of a second manmade entrance, the only known passage into the Pit was a submerged sea cave in the Tokyo Bay. Situated at the nexus of a complex cave system the Pit’s isolation combined with the water’s unique properties have resulted in a rich ecosystem of endemic bioluminescent organisms, including several members of the genus Cyrtomium and three distinct genera of Salmonidae.

LEG DAY

Before Blaseball was even an idea, Nandy Slumps was killing gods with Knight Triumphant. In the still-extant Moab Desert, a quarry of theirs would be split up in an effort to make it impossible for it to ravage the land once more. Nandy, in particular, took the legs. Still ambulatory and seeking its parts, Nandy decided to cut off a toe under the assumption that it would seek nearer parts first. Her gamble paid off, and she used the toe as bait to lead it across the Pacific, eventually burying it in the caves that, unbeknownst to her, contained the Lazarus Pit.

DILSNEYLAND

As professional Blaseball beckoned, Slumps eventually abandoned the legs in a shady grove, expecting them to decay and in time to be forgotten. Instead they were preserved by the Pit's magics. When the Dilsney Corporation took ownership of the locale in 19XX, the mighty limbs became the centrepiece of themed area "Leg-o-Land", home to attractions including Ankle Biters soft play and the short-lived Thigh Will Be Done bistro. Park staff deployed to this area reported symptoms such as rampant muscle growth, raging thirst and cataracts, but were dismissed by Dilsney executives as "paranoid malingerers". The park failed spectacularly, and in 1997, it was abandoned.

LEGSCRAPER

When Slumps won the title deeds to the abandoned Dilsneyland park in an unsanctioned backroom Mahjong tournament she was not aware of its history. Her first site visit revealed the truth; the awesome, uncorrupted legs lay at the focal point of the park, ripe for development. Well aware of the pressures facing residents of Tokyo she had already considered developing the locale for rent-free social housing. The legs would in time become the centrepiece of the development, crowned by a futuristic skyscraper housing healthcare and leisure facilities serving the community. Thus, the Legscraper was born.

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 {{Community Lore}}
-The Legscraper is home and stadium of the [[Tokyo Lift]].
-==History==
-In the early XX90’s, entertainment megacorp Walt Dilsney Company was looking to expand their ventures outside of the United States. After months of internal decisionmaking, Walt Dilsney executives finally arrived at a consensus and began drafting up plans to construct a new theme park on the outskirts of Tokyo, Japan. Touted as their most ambitious endeavor yet, DilsneyLand Tokyo promised “push the boundaries of the theme-park experience through experimental attractions and cutting-edge technology”.
-The new park was highly anticipated by many. However, throughout it’s construction process, DilsneyLand Tokyo was constantly plagued by financial troubles. During XX96, a deadly swarm of rogue crows roaming the streets forced much of society to stay in their homes. As a result of this, the Walt Dilsney Company had to shut down construction, close its existing theme parks, and delay upcoming film releases, causing the company to go in the red. Investors warned that if DilsneyLand Tokyo was not able to be completed by the following year, they would pull out of the project entirely.
+== Description ==
+The Legscraper is the [[Tokyo Lift|Tokyo Lift's]] stadium and home. The influences of the formerly deific legs it is built on and the mysterious cave system above which it is often stationed have turned the dumbbell-shaped skyscraper into a (relatively) benevolent entity. Members of the Lift can navigate the ever-shifting hallways and empty rooms of the tower with little problem, and fans are channelled straight to the elevators leading to the rooftop stadium. Visiting teams and certain other groups, however, may become hopelessly lost until discovered by Lift staff; one party of [[Adult Dilsney Fan|Dilsney]] executives became trapped in an office-supplies cupboard for seventeen days, surviving on glue sticks and fluid squeezed from anti-static screen wipes. The origins of the Legscraper are known to few. Although the Lazarus Pit is now common knowledge in certain circles, the legs that support the Legscraper are dismissed as products of Dilsneyland Tokyo or an aspect of the Pit. The only ones aware of the Legscraper's true nature are players [[Nandy Slumps]], [[Stijn Strongbody]], and [[Knight Triumphant]].
-After the crow swarm finally subsided in July of XX97 and it was deemed safe to go outside again, construction on DilsneyLand Tokyo resumed-albeit at a slower pace than before. Despite this, it seemed as though the park would be able to meet its deadline and open on time.
+== History ==
+The land that became home to the Legscraper was already notable before Walt Dilsney bought and half-built a theme park over it, and it is strongly speculated that Dilsney chose this location because of the pit’s presence.
-However, that all changed on August 12th, XX97. That day, Chief Construction Overseer ▮▮▮▮▮   ▮▮▮▮▮▮ had just returned from her lunch break, only to discover that the ride that her crew had been working mere hours ago had been completely covered in cryptic graffiti- written in a script that bore no resemblance to any existing language. When questioned, both the Overseer and crew members stated they did not know who was responsible for this action. The security guard monitoring the entrance to the park also denied seeing any new people enter during that time. Two days later, a different construction crew painted over the vandalism, only for workers to arrive the next day and find out that it had reappeared again, exactly identical to the way it was written before.
+=== LAZARUS PIT ===
+Documented by the avid splortsman known only as Mehashirou during the Kamakura Period (and named by the Walt Dilsney Corporation), the Lazarus Pit is an underground cavern and associated body of water containing magic that encourages fitness and health. Prior to Dilsney’s creation of a second manmade entrance, the only known passage into the Pit was a submerged sea cave in the Tokyo Bay. Situated at the nexus of a complex cave system the Pit’s isolation combined with the water’s unique properties have resulted in a rich ecosystem of endemic bioluminescent organisms, including several members of the genus ''Cyrtomium'' and three distinct genera of ''Salmonidae''.
-Incidences like these persisted throughout the next month, each new occurrence becoming more and more otherworldly than the last. Mysterious tunnels with seemingly no end would appear beneath attractions. Brand-new animatronic figures would be installed, vanish, and then be found a week later rusted-over and piled in a dismembered heap in a secluded area of the park. Workers would report hearing voices in an unfamiliar language whisper to them while they were in the park- even when they were completely alone.
+=== LEG DAY ===
+Before Blaseball was even an idea, Nandy Slumps was killing gods with Knight Triumphant. In the still-extant Moab Desert, a quarry of theirs would be split up in an effort to make it impossible for it to ravage the land once more. Nandy, in particular, took the legs. Still ambulatory and seeking its parts, Nandy decided to cut off a toe under the assumption that it would seek nearer parts first. Her gamble paid off, and she used the toe as bait to lead it across the Pacific, eventually burying it in the caves that, unbeknownst to her, contained the Lazarus Pit.
-Despite all efforts, nothing could be done to combat what was happening within the grounds of DilsneyLand. Many workers and overseers quit their jobs, employee numbers gradually dwindling day after day. Finally, on September 13th, XX97, Walt Dilsney executives signed a release form, and DilsneyLand Tokyo was shut down for good.
+=== DILSNEYLAND ===
+As professional Blaseball beckoned, Slumps eventually abandoned the legs in a shady grove, expecting them to decay and in time to be forgotten. Instead they were preserved by the Pit's magics. When the Dilsney Corporation took ownership of the locale in 19XX, the mighty limbs became the centrepiece of themed area "Leg-o-Land", home to attractions including Ankle Biters soft play and the short-lived Thigh Will Be Done bistro. Park staff deployed to this area reported symptoms such as rampant muscle growth, raging thirst and cataracts, but were dismissed by Dilsney executives as "paranoid malingerers". The park failed spectacularly, and in 1997, it was abandoned.
-Over the years, the partially-completed theme park lay in a state of dilapidation- the strange incidences that plagued the park during its construction occurring tenfold now that it was properly abandoned.
+=== LEGSCRAPER ===
+When Slumps won the title deeds to the abandoned Dilsneyland park in an unsanctioned backroom Mahjong tournament she was not aware of its history. Her first site visit revealed the truth; the awesome, uncorrupted legs lay at the focal point of the park, ripe for development. Well aware of the pressures facing residents of Tokyo she had already considered developing the locale for rent-free social housing. The legs would in time become the centrepiece of the development, crowned by a futuristic skyscraper housing healthcare and leisure facilities serving the community. Thus, the Legscraper was born.
-==Acquisition By Nandy Slumps==
-In the summer of 20XX, [[Nandy Slumps]] won the land that DilsneyLand was built on in a high-stakes game of Lifting Mahjong (a game popular in niche gambling circles in which one must play mahjong while lifting progressively heavier weights). Strangely enough, this tract of land- and the abandoned theme park that came with it- was only the third most absurd thing Slumps had acquired during her long and illustrious gambling career. Fearing neither death nor the wrath of the gods, Slumps decided to move into the theme park, citing “It’s mine now” and “The rent in Tokyo is just too damn high” as the motives behind this decision.
-After exploring the length of the park and somehow failing to suffer any emotional distraught/physical consequences from doing so, Slumps decided to take up residence in the most normal building she could find: a giant pair of steel legs that was supposed to be part of one of DilsneyLand’s new ventures, LEG-O Land. However, a few days after settling in, Slumps noticed something: her seemingly-normal new home had somehow gained sentience and was now casually walking about the park.
-Chalking this up to whatever else was happening in Dilsneyland, Slumps decided to take advantage of the pair of legs (which she affectionately nicknamed the Legscraper) sentience and attempt to befriend it- all while refurbishing the legs and drafting up plans to build a high-rise on top of it that would rival the buildings in Tokyo proper. Eventually, Slumps does succeed in both of these. By the next year, Slumps and the Legscraper are able to commune with each other, and there is now a shiny new home towering above the barren wasteland of DilsneyLand Tokyo, waiting to be filled with new residents.
-==Modern Use==
-In the modern day, the former Tokyo DilsneyLand is used as free housing in the cramped metropolis, with free-to-use utilities such as gyms, doctors, and food banks. The Legscraper roams the property, sitting in spaces designed to accommodate it, and indeed, buses and trains running near the neighborhood commonly use watching the Legscraper as a selling point. The Tokyo Lift Ballclark sits at the top of the Legscraper, and their living quarters are throughout. And, of course, the strange incidents hardly ever occur anymore.