Legscraper

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

History

In the early XX90’s, entertainment megacorp Dalt Wisney Company was looking to expand their ventures outside of the United States. After months of internal decisionmaking, Dalt Wisney executives finally arrived at a consensus and began drafting up plans to construct a new theme park on the outskirts of Tokyo, Japan. Touted as their most ambitious endeavor yet, WisneyLand Tokyo promised “push the boundaries of the theme-park experience through experimental attractions and cutting-edge technology”.

The new park was highly anticipated by many. However, throughout it’s construction process, WisneyLand Tokyo was constantly plagued by financial troubles. During XX96, a deadly swarm of rogue crows roaming the streets forced much of society to stay in their homes. As a result of this, the Dalt Wisney Company had to shut down construction, close its existing theme parks, and delay upcoming film releases- causing the company to go in the red. Investors warned that if WisneyLand Tokyo was not able to be completed by the following year, they would pull out of the project entirely.

After the crow swarm finally subsided in July of XX97 and it was deemed safe to go outside again, construction on WisneyLand Tokyo resumed-albeit at a slower pace than before. Despite this, it seemed as though the park would be able to meet its deadline and open on time.

However, that all changed on August 12th, XX97. That day, Chief Construction Overseer ▮▮▮▮▮ ▮▮▮▮▮▮ had just returned from her lunch break, only to discover that the ride that her crew had been working mere hours ago had been completely covered in cryptic graffiti- written in a script that bore no resemblance to any existing language. When questioned, both the Overseer and crew members stated not knowing as to who was responsible for this action. The security guard monitoring the entrance to the park also denied seeing any new people enter during that time. Two days later, a different construction crew painted over the vandalism, only for workers to arrive the next day and find out that it had reappeared again, exactly identical to the way it was written before.

Incidences like these persisted throughout the next month, each new occurrence becoming more and more otherworldly than the last. Mysterious tunnels with seemingly no end would appear beneath attractions. Brand-new animatronic figures would be installed, vanish, and then be found a week later rusted-over and piled in a dismembered heap in a secluded area of the park. Workers would report hearing voices in an unfamiliar language whisper to them while they were in the park- even when they were completely alone.

Despite all efforts, nothing could be done to combat what was happening within the grounds of WisneyLand. Many workers and overseers quit their jobs, employee numbers gradually dwindling day after day. Finally, on September 13th, XX97, Dalt Wisney executives signed a release form, and WisneyLand Tokyo was shut down for good.

Over the years, the partially-completed theme park lay in a state of dilapidation- the strange incidences that plagued the park during its construction occurring tenfold now that it was properly abandoned.

Acquisition By Nandy Slumps

In the summer of 20XX, Nandy Slumps won the land that WisneyLand was built on in a high-stakes game of Lifting Mahjong (a game popular in niche gambling circles in which one must play mahjong while lifting progressively heavier weights). Strangely enough, this tract of land- and the abandoned theme park that came with it- was only the third most absurd thing Nandy had acquired during her long and illustrious gambling career. Fearing neither death nor the wrath of the gods, Nandy decided to move into the theme park, citing “It’s mine now” and “The rent in Tokyo is just too damn high” as the motives behind this decision.

After exploring the length of the park and somehow failing to suffer any emotional distraught/physical consequences from doing so, Nandy decided to take up residence in the most normal building she could find: a giant pair of steel legs that was supposed to be part of one of WisneyLand’s new ventures, LEG-O Land. However, a few days after settling in, Nandy noticed something: her seemingly-normal new home had somehow gained sentience and was now casually walking about the park.

Chalking this up to whatever else was happening in WisneyLand, Nandy decided to take advantage of the pair of leg’s (which she affectionately nicknamed the Legscraper) sentience and attempt to befriend it- all while refurbishing the legs and drafting up plans to build a high-rise on top of it that would rival the buildings in Tokyo proper. Eventually, Nandy does succeed in both of these. By the next year, Nandy and the Legscraper are able to commune with each other, and there is now a shiny new home towering above the barren wasteland of WisneyLand Tokyo, waiting to be filled with new residents.

Modern Use

In the modern day, the former Tokyo WisneyLand is used as free housing in the cramped metropolis, with free-to-use utilities such as gyms, doctors, and food banks. The Legscraper roams the property, sitting in spaces designed to accommodate it, and indeed, buses and trains running near the neighborhood commonly use watching the Legscraper as a selling point. The Tokyo Lift Ballclark sits at the top of the Legscraper, and their living quarters are throughout. And, of course, the strange incidents hardly ever occur anymore