Don Elliott

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Revision as of 02:02, 8 August 2020 by Sunshine3214 (talk | contribs)

The 47th Incarnation of Don Elliott, or Don Elliott for short, is a pitcher for the Miami Dalé. They have been on the team since Season 1.

Early Life

Don Elliott was born and raised in a monastery dedicated to following the teachings of the original Don Elliott. The eliottists, as they are called, choose, in a laborious and secretive process, the replacement for Don Elliott whenever the current Don Elliott passes away, drawing from the most dedicated and knowledgeable elliottist monks. The chosen monk is said to be the next reincarnation of Don Elliott.

Elliottists dedicate their life to understanding and adhering to Don Elliott's teachings and actions, relying on historical and contemporary religious texts and compendiums such as The Path of Meticulously Parting Your Hair to the Left, The 6 Commandments of Frying Some Kick-Ass Conch Fritters, and The Way of Cracking Open a Cold One With the Boys After the Big Game. They also record the thoughts of the Don Elliott incarnations, who have, throughout the eras, been known for their wisdom-filled aphorisms and proverbs. Famous examples include: "Weather sure is a bit chilly today, huh folks?" (9th Don Elliott), "I think I saw a great sale on lawnmowers on the way here" (20th Don Elliott), and "Nothing beats cracking a cold one with the boys after the big game" (46th Don Elliott).


Career

The 47th Don Elliott has commented on the multiple fatalities occurring in blaseball games, as well as his carefree style of play: "Well, I sure feel for the other players and their families out there, but I gotta say, I kinda have an advantage out here, you know. If I ever kick it in one of these games I will just keep living on through the next Don Elliotts."