Baseball

Baseball was a short-lived knock-off pro-capitalist blaseball league unaffiliated with the Internet League. It was created by a number of executives and entrepreneurs looking to profit from the popularity of the splort and ran for almost one season. It was cancelled prior to the championship game due to disappointing projected advertising revenue.

Baseball was notable for its slight rule changes, attempts to streamline the splort for profitability, and the narcissism of the owners, who named all the teams after themselves.

Teams

• The Phil Ease Baseball Team, owned by Phil Ease
• Houston Astro's Baseball Team, owned by Houston Astro
• The "Red" Socks Baseball Team, the first of two teams owned by Walter Socks
• The "White" Socks Baseball Team, the second of two teams owned by Walter Socks
• Cubb's Baseball Team, owned by Chuck Cubb
• The Yang-Keyes Baseball Team, co-owned by Forrest Yang and Karen Keyes
• Ray's, owned by Ray DuVall
• The Twins' Baseball Team, co-owned by twins Orrin and Delia Roberts

Rule Changes

• "No Shame" - The shame period was removed from baseball in order to shorten the game's length to allow for more advertising. Instead, players simply walk off the field after a winning run is scored in the bottom of the final inning. This rule was mocked by critics, claiming that the capitalists running the league themselves have "no shame."

• "7th Inning Stretch" - A break is mandated between the top and bottom of the 7th inning, a time which team owners use to advertise products to captive members of the audience or encourage singing anthems of corporate loyalty.
• "Safety Nets" - Nets must be installed along the first and third "base" lines of the field. The public is told it is to prevent them from getting hit by a ball, but is actually done to reduce spending on balls by the capitalist owners.