Yasslyn Statter Jr./Rumor Registry

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Yasslyn Statter Jr. has 5 Rumors written about so far.

Yasslyn Statter Jr./IF-0.1234

Dated to just after the Season 17 elections.

Hi, it's me, Yass Jr.!
Things have been going great this semester! Definitely enjoying my classes so far. Plus, I don't have classes on Fridays now! Which is awesome because it means I have enough time for EVERYTHING now, and of course you know I've been trying to get the balance worked out for a while now!! Yes!! Finally!!
     Oh, I've also been able to pick up a part-time job working with the local Blaseball team! It's been super fun, I do some behind-the-scenes work. It's surprisingly REALLY similar to the volunteer conservancy work I've been doing with Hawaiian monk seals — who knew? It's wild, but I guess it makes sense — the team just recently got their licensure stuff worked out to be able to sponsor a bunch of birdhouses, and there's tons of birds endemic to the islands that have a protected status. And yeah, the sponsorship has been going great! It's kind of wild how much money, like, percentage-wise, the team is able to put into the bird conservancy stuff. It kinda helps that they play wherever on the islands they want, so they don't have a permanent stadium... I'm not sure how much I'm allowed to say though... but I know you won't say anything ;p
     Anyway, I gotta run! I need to pray before I go to swim practice in a few minutes, and then later one of my college friends is going to teach me how to SKATEBOARD!!! I will write to you again ASAP, I promise! I know you like getting these updates from my life :)
Love you!
– Yasslyn Statter Jr.
P.S.: It's not exactly my area but the wild animal rescue I've been volunteering at recently got in an injured Hawaiian Hoary Bat and she is absolutely the cutest lil guy EVER!!! Maybe I'll send you a picture in my next letter!

Yasslyn Statter Jr./IF-1.923

Dear Statter Sr.,
Hey! Sorry it’s taken me so long to write, I’ve been swamped now that I’m officially on the rotation. It’s been amazing, I love it so much! I finally get to play in the big leagues with all the other Fridays! I’ve tried not to act too starstruck, especially around Juice - she’s such a talented pitcher. But everyone is so kind, and we’ve been getting along really well. It’s nice to finally get off the bench and into the field.
Unfortunately, that’s not gonna last very much longer. I guess you’ve already heard by now. That allergic reaction really took its toll, and it’s only a quarter way through the season. There’s been some planning, and after this postseason I’m probably going to get pulled. I know it’s for the best, for both me and the team, but I’m really bummed it had to happen so soon. I’d only just started my blaseball career, my real first steps into playing the game. I almost feel like I’m letting the team down, already getting pulled my first season, but everyone’s been really supportive and kind about it. They all understand (peanuts are no joke) and genuinely just want me to get better. The Fridays really do live up to their reputation.
But, hey - don’t worry about me! Players get medically benched all the time, and with a little physical therapy and training in the Shadows, I’ll be good as new and get right back into the swing of things (haha, get it? I know, I know, you’ve missed my amazing jokes). Besides, it’s nice to take a backseat sometimes. I’ll have more time for the podcast and swimming and the new coral conservation campaign. I think for some teams, the Shadows can be a bit scary, but on the Fridays, it’s really chill. Literally. Sometimes Heat lets people pile into his hammock. I can spend a lot more time with my teammates too; I haven’t gotten to hang out with Mordecai too much because of our different schedules, but now that we’re both on the bench, I think we’ll get along really well. I might ask prin to teach me how to skateboard.
I hope things are going well at home. I know you miss me, but don’t go moping around all the time. I’ll be back to visit after the season’s over, and we’ve always got our letters. Let me know how the birdhouse is going, and say hi to Jenny and Jamie for me!
From,
Yass

Yasslyn Statter Jr./IF-2506.1

Hey, I think Kaj left this behind when xe visited. Could you get it back to xem? Thanks!

(Included in the envelope is a necklace with a chewable pendant in the shape of an anchor.)

Note: Though the identity of the Kaj referred to in this letter is currently unconfirmed, possibilities include Kaj Murphy and Kaj Statter Jr.. One can assume that the latter is almost certainly more likely[1].


Yasslyn Statter Jr./IF-84.888

  • eggs
  • milk
  • the good bread
  • tissues
  • new highlighters
  • instant rice
  • detergent

Yasslyn Statter Jr./IF-84.889

Oh, shoot, that last one was my grocery list wasn't it.


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  1. whether Kaj Statter Jr. has any relation to either Yasslyn Statter Jr. or the (presumed) Yasslyn Statter Sr. is unknown, however.