Written Works by the Seattle Garages

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COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

The lively indie and punk scenes in Seattle mean that at any given show, there's liable to be a hundred different zines, poetry chapbooks, and other pieces of literature up for sale or distribution. With nearly five dozen players on the roster and dozens more counting the band among their former teams, the Garages themselves have produced numerous works of literature. Recently, the Seattle Garages Lil' Roadies have partnered with the Seattle Public Library for the "Lil' Roadies' Lil' Readers" initiative. It encourages new readers to look into some of the writing of Seattle's favorite splorts team and highlights the band members' favorite authors in turn. Members of the Roadies and their guardians also host community workshops where Seattle residents can learn new languages from friends and neighbors. A sampling of the various Garages publications are below, but owing to the size and disorganization of the team, it is not comprehensive.

Plates from Home Plate: A Cookbook

A collaborative work primarily by members of the Seattle Shadows Co-op, this cookbook features over thirty recipes. Terrell Bradley and Dickerson Morse edited the book, with photography and graphic design provided by Lori Boston and Brie. Recipes include:

Other players, such as Michelle Sportsman, Mcdowell Karim, and several patrons of the Emblem Warhorse, contributed recipes for their own favored dishes.

Lil' Roadies Lil' Road Songs

Oliver Loofah and Oliver Mueller spent several seasons recording and transcribing this collection of the Lil' Roadies "travel songs." The songs are commonly improvised by the Roadies during long trips on the tour bus. Their lyrics primarily focus on the children's desires during the ride, including snacks, bathroom breaks, and stopping at that cool roller coaster place they saw. Nevertheless, they demonstrate an impressive grasp of music theory for such young singers.

Interspersed with the songs are crosswords, puzzles, and other games to occupy readers on their own long trips. The book's afterword, written by Oliver Loofah, is a meditation on the songs they remember from growing up with the Lil' Roadies. It concludes with a series of campfire songs and stories first made up by the late Derrick Krueger.

Das Catpital

Malik Destiny describes his book as one half self-help book, one half memoir, and one half GameFAQs walkthrough. Das Catpital is a retelling of his life prior to his arrival on the Immaterial Plane. The book frequently spirals into Ulyssean tangents, wherein Destiny describes various meals he ate in his home reality. It became a hit among history buffs and JRPG fans. The former praised the detailed descriptions of Lesser Washington's political history and the complex discussions of blacksmithing technique in the gunblade forging chapters. The latter praised Destiny's reasoned opinions on optimal party composition and the complex discussion of blacksmithing technique in the gunblade forging chapters.

Quillana Moonmarked and the Flaming Flood

A special-edition side story of Alaynabella Hollywood's wildly popular young adult fantasy series, this novella is geared towards readers in elementary school. It stars a young Quillana helping her community recover from a dangerous natural disaster. As Flooding Weather and other splort-induced cosmic events began to take their toll on Seattle and the Immaterial Plane as a whole, Hollywood wrote the story to give younger readers tools to stay safe should they find themselves in situations like Quillana's.

Five Stars

This coffee table book is full of photographs taken by Durham Spaceman through unknown means, as it does not appear to own any cameras. Astronomers and planar physicists took special interest in it for containing some of the best recorded images of the Black Hole. Spaceman released a companion, Six Stars, a few seasons later, after MaX accompanied Spaceman on one of its photography trips to Mount Rainier and developed an interest in astrophotography.

Amplification of Psychoacoustic Wave Functions for the Purpose of Stabilization and Revivification via Rhythmic Performance and Ritual: Frequencies for Necromantic and Non-necromantic Sonic Manifestation

The first of numerous self-published academic essays by Magi Ruiz, this report was ineligible for inclusion in scientific journals due to the inability to safely reproduce the methods it described. Ruiz's research features numerous references to the work of Ron Monstera, citing his Blandcamp page and his dense, scientific acoustics papers in equal measure. As Ruiz is a firm proponent of accessibility, each essay includes a translation for the scientific jargon to help the wider public understand the mechanics involved. This essay's rejected title was "How to Sin Against the Balance of Life and Death with Music, and How to Use It to Save Lives."

Bangers Only: The Seattle Garages Semi-Centennial Zine Collection

Edited by Lang Richardson, this book collects over one hundred unique zines produced by various Garages since the Return of Blaseball. It organizes them in chronological order, with issues of THE SUN IS OUR ENEMY marking the beginning of each "chapter" of the compendium. The work of Allison Abbott features heavily, but nearly every former or current Garage has contributed something to Bangers Only. Richardson elected to include everything that was submitted; as he described it on the book jacket, "they're all bangers." The immense size of the physical edition required the band to print and bind it in-house, as traditional publishers' machines were not able to handle it. Copies are freely available at all Garages home games; in lieu of payment, the team accepts donations to a variety of charitable causes and mutual aid funds. Each book comes with a sheet of QR code stickers that lead to the digital edition.

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