Twofurious Puddles/IF-11.299

Rumor / Community Lore
This article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community. It is just one of many Rumors that we've found in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill. You can find more Rumors about Twofurious Puddles at their Rumor Registry.

Biography

Twofurious Puddles is an AI created by Yusef Puddles and installed into a hot dog cart with a cannon for firing blaseballs, hotdogs, hotdogs in a bun, buns, and blaseballs in a bun (amongst other things). It is equipped with an air cannon, all terrain wheels, and specialty modes (notably kosher only) for serving food to the flans watching the game.

Creation

The idea for Twofurious Puddles came to Yusef Puddles during the Grand Siesta. One day while preparing for practice, Yusef Puddles came across an abandoned hot dog cart. On a whim, they decided to modify the cart. Spending time over the siesta, and eventually completing the first version of Twofurious Puddles before the end of the Grand Siesta.

The initial version was a simple AI built on the Dolphinsoft OS capable of only firing hot dogs out of a cannon at predetermined targets. Over the seasons, Yusef Puddles has tweaked and upgraded Twofurious Puddles to be able to move on its own, and fire hot dogs at self chosen targets in the stands (even those who hadn’t ordered a hot dog).

Joining the Pies

On Season 22 Day 59, Philly Pies pitcher, Lucy Tokkan, was faxed out but the fax jammed, failing to send out an adequate replacement. The game was called to a stand still, while Eduardo Woodman searched desperately for a replacement pitcher. Yusef Puddles realized that Twofurious Puddle’s AI could be easily tweaked to fire blaseballs at batters Convincing Captain Woodman of the idea, Yusef made a hotfix to allow Twofurious Puddles to play in the blood splort.

Since modifying Twofurious Puddles, Yusef Puddles takes the time to upgrade the robot’s AI with patches. While the upgrades vary in nature, every single patch contains the line ‘no longer shoots blaseballs in a bun’.

Personality

Twofurious Puddles’ AI has been modified to such a degree that it has gained some slight sentience. It isn’t particularly concerned with much else other than blaseball, and serve hotdogs to people (via firing the hot dogs at high velocity). It can be convinced to do other tasks, but it is mostly content to wander Tastycake Stadium in its free time serving hot dogs in its free time. When asked about running on Dolphinsoft as opposed to a superior OS (such as Llinux), Twofurious Puddles simply replies with a sad ‘Why’.

Twofurious Puddles gets along ok with it’s creator, Yusef Puddles, but is occasionally found to be furiously printing log after log detailing schemes such as shuffling solitaire decks, voting for sharks in animal popularity polls, and adding salt to peanuts. When asked about it, Twofurious Puddles denies any scheming. Oddly enough, the team members Twofurious Puddles is closest to is Usurper Violet, who uses Twofurious Puddles to deliver ingredients for baking and cooking projects to the Underhot; and Eduardo Woodman, who uses Twofurious Puddles to help film and deliver food to the crew of ‘My Roomie Ruslan’.

Twofurious Puddles seems to have little regard for the various Lotus Mangos, particularly feeling inferior to the Robot Plant Hybrid and disliking the Plant Gremlin for chewing on it’s tires. While there are no known interactions between the Philling and Twofurious Puddles, Twofurious Puddles will run from the Philling on sight referring to the Philling as ‘danger’ citing an incident where [404 ERROR. MEMORY NOT FOUND. ONLY FEAR].

Unsubstantiated Rumors

Bystanders are convinced Twofurious Puddles is actually a fifteen foot mech, and claim to see one only to turn and find a hot dog cart. This has convinced the flan base that Twofurious Puddles is actually a transformer. Oddly enough, his official league lore does have it as a fifteen foot mech, and attempts to correct this error are changed back to stating Twofurious Puddles is a fifteen foot mech.