Topic on Talk:Wyatt Quitter

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Elmonstro (talkcontribs)

I propose to expand this article to cover Quitter's time with the Shelled One's Pods and the Tokyo Lift. This would also mean some minor adjustments to the existing text, mostly covering tenses. The full text of the proposed new Lore section follows: this has also been shared with the Lift and the Tacos on their respective Discords.

Elmonstro (talkcontribs)

Early Life and Recruitment

Before joining the league, Quitter held a variety of jobs including carpenter, insurance salesperson, tarot reader, civil engineer, UX designer, bus driver, and chef. Though they excelled at many of these positions, they never developed a lasting career in any of those fields due to their propensity to quit after only a few weeks on the job. Their reasons for quitting are unknown, but it has been rumored that a family curse is the root cause. They were in the midst of applying for a position as a deli meat slicer at Ralphino's when they signed up for the community kickball league, marking the beginning of their blaseball career with the Los Angeles (later Unlimited) Tacos.

With the Unlimited Tacos

Despite being one of the statistically worst hitters on the team, Quitter consistently outperformed their abysmal star ranking with the combined power of plucky gumption and a dazzling smile. Though notably less of a diva than all the other players on the team, they were known for refusing to play with any bat not made of 100% pine.

Quitter was considered a vital part of the team from Day 1 regardless of the rumored curse, though there have been unconfirmed reports of Quitter attempting to quit the ILB. Quitter commented on the matter, saying "I don't want to quit. Never have. And even if I did, I wouldn't be able to. We all know incineration is the only way out."

Midway through Season 9, during a game at the Boston Flowers, Quitter was struck by a Big Peanut and became Shelled. This was a huge emotional blow for an already depleted team.


The distress felt by teammates and fans alike was compounded on Season 9, Day X when Quitter took the field as a member of the Shelled One's team of press-ganged players. THE SHELLED ONE'S PODS easily defeated newly-crowned champions the Charleston Shoe Thieves and returned on Season 10, Day X to meet the Baltimore Crabs. This match was decided by the very first hit, with Quitter's almighty single reducing the Crabs' Spirit to -1504119; splorts journalists have called it "the shot that was heard around the Multiverse". Following their subsequent defeat by the Hall Stars, Quitter and their fellow PODS were Unshelled and scattered across the Material Plane.

With the Tokyo Lift

Shortly after this event, reports emerged that an unnamed person had been discovered in a shallow crater near Dilsneyland Tokyo, swaddled in papery peanut skin and clutching a 100% pine bat. Clearly traumatised by recent experiences, they were reluctant to engage with local authorities or even to make eye contact.

Quitter was recognised by a member of the public and their identity leaked on social media. The Tokyo Lift were quick to reach out; sometime physiotherapist Lance Serotonin used contacts in the healthcare system to offer the use of Legscraper facilities "while they recuperate and consider the next stage of their journey". Quitter cautiously accepted.

During the next few weeks Quitter spent much time in the Legscraper's weights room, taking on increasingly intense workouts in silence and often late at night. This culminated in an epic weights session with Nandy Slumps as spotter, during which the two did not exchange a single word for thirty-seven hours. On racking the barbell for the last time Quitter offered in a hoarse whisper the words "Quitter don't quit" and fell asleep in Slumps' arms. The following morning they arrived for team breakfast in full Tokyo Lift uniform and requested a position on the lineup.

Quitter was impressed by the positive attitude of the young team but concerned at the players' inexperience and tactical naivety (Slumps aside). As a veteran of the Internet League, Quitter was able to describe top-tier tactics, strategies, rivalries, alliances and outright scuttlebutt as captain Stijn Strongbody listened agog. His 700 pages of often self-contradictory notes have been condensed into a personal reference work he calls the Quitter Codex.

In an emotional pre-season video call to the Unlimited Tacos, Quitter thanked them for their friendship, their support and "all the memories" before explaining that "these newbies need me or they're gonna get eaten alive". A reunion followed on Season 11, Day 16 as the Lift began a six-match series in the Los Angeli.

They remain plucky and pugnacious, but this is tempered by a growing sense of responsibility. The Lift, and Strongbody in particular, have come to rely on Quitter's alertness to trick plays and their knowledge of individual opponents' strengths and idiosyncrasies. They are close to regular workout partner Slumps and peppy troublemaker Ayanna Dumpington. They also meet up when possible with former teammates Halexandrey Walton and Wyatt Pothos.


Quitter don't quit Quitter Quitter/they're our hitter/hit or miss/we won't be bitter!