Thomas England

From Blaseball Wiki

Thomas England was a lineup player for the Hawai'i Fridays, and was with the team from the Return of Blaseball until their incineration on Season β4, Day 86.

Official League Records

England joined the ILB as a lineup player for the Hawai'i Fridays with the Return of Blaseball.

On Season β4, Day 86, England was incinerated and replaced by Sixpack Dogwalker.

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.



England was English on 'is mum's side (she emigrated from the UK chicken pen when she was a young twist n' twirl) and Thomas on his da's side (he was born in Thomas, Oregon). He 'ad an accent which 'as been described as a cross between Madonna's English accent and Tom Hanks' Southern accent. Points for trying, mate.


During Season 4, England was on a hot streak, counting a grand slam among his successes, until this was tragically cut short by his incineration during the Waveback Event. His spirit (or his still-flaming femur, at least) lives on with Sixpack Dogwalker.


  • England preferred tiddleywink was Rosy Lee wif a Randolph Scott of Acker Bilk.
  • England took his holidays in Manchester, NH and London, Ontario. Notably, he had never been to the UK.
  • England cried "For the Queen!" whenever he stepped up to bat. When asked in the post-game cookouts, due to his accent, it was unclear if he was saluting the queen of England or Queen Lili'uokalani.