Thomas Beef

Short Circuits
Information on this page pertains to events in a temporary universe and may have minimal long-term bearing on the game.

Thomas Beef
Basic Information
Team	Tokyo Lift
Status	Alive?
Batting	(1.6)
Pitching	(1.1)
Defense	(3.5)
Running	(2.4)
External Links	Blaseball-Reference Player Changes Player Page
Personal Information
Evolution	Base
Peanut Allergy	NoC
Pregame Ritual	Air guitar
Coffee Style	Milk Substitute
Blood Type	Love
Fate	24
Soulscream	AXAXUAXAXUAHAAOXHAAOXH

Thomas Beef was a rotation player for the Tokyo Lift, and competed in Gamma 2.

Official League Record

Beef was first seen as a rotation player for the Tokyo Lift after the Microphone Localized and Tuned into Gamma 2.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Biography

Thomas Beef is a Highland cowboy, with a muscular human torso rising centaur-like from Highland cattle hindquarters. He is seldom seen without a stetson and his long ginger beard matches the straggly coat of his stubby-legged undercarriage.

Beef was born on the Isle of Lewis on Scotland's storm-battered Atlantic fringe. As a calfboy he was obsessed with western films; between duties on the family croft he would roam the machair looking for varmints and lassoing fenceposts. On his eighteenth birthday he set sail for Texas seeking the romantic lifestyle of an itinerant ranchhand.

Already a keen guitarist, Beef amassed a repertoire of country songs and in time began to write his own material. His first record, A Side of Beef, received little attention but the success of second album A Load of Bull saw him quit agriculture for a career in showbiz.

While never a major star, he became a modestly popular touring artist in Japan. Concert performances combined his music with folksy anecdotes and a demonstration of rodeo skills, Beef being uniquely positioned to describe these from the perspective both of buckaroo and bovine. He eventually settled in Tokyo, where he co-owns a store selling porcelain ornaments and tends the garden of the semi-retirement cottage he calls "Dunropin' Castle".

He was drawn into Blaseball by the late Allis O'Houlihan, a regular customer at his china shop. Though little interested in the splort the big-hearted Beef tries to be a supportive figure for younger Lift teammates. His words and actions are always well-intentioned but occasionally insensitive. Claire Glaive's much-repeated complaint that "Thomas Beef knows what he did" is a long way from the truth.

His career retrospective boxset A Case of TB is available from the Tokyo Lift griftshop.