Theodore Honeywell/Rumor Registry
Rumors
Theodore Honeywell has 3 Rumors written about so far.
Theodore Honeywell/IF-8.574
Background
Theodore “Theo” Honeywell was born in rural Sindh, Pakistan. Young Honeywell had a knack for fixing equipment on his parents’ farm, and gained a reputation with his neighbors for being particularly handy. As a teenager he began working for a local mechanic, and eventually went to trade school to become a mechanic.
In between his mechanic jobs and other odd jobs, Honeywell developed an interest in robotics. He quickly realized that his interest surpassed his means, and so he began saving money. At the age of 33, Honeywell moved to Karachi to begin studying engineering and robotics.
On the Tokyo Lift
Honeywell has been cryptic about how he came to know about the Tokyo Lift, and how he came to join the team when they entered the ILB. He has, however, been forthright about wanting to join the shadows so that he could take advantage of the ILB-standard income and free time in the shadows in order to continue studying robotics.
Over the Grand Siesta, Honeywell made a name for himself as a noteworthy roboticist, making great strides in the field. He also began working closely with Freemium Seraph; this friendship became Honeywell’s main link to the team. Additionally, Honeywell was accused of sharing paywalled and institution-gated academic articles. In an official statement, Honeywell said that he would neither confirm nor deny the allegations, but “access like this would’ve changed my life when I was a kid, and I won’t deny someone else that access.”
Honeywell did not make her official ILB debut until Season 21, emerging due to the ratified Voicemail. At this point, Honeywell had a vested yet mysterious interest in staying on the active roster, and partied three times to ensure that he would not exit the lineup due to Voicemail. He remained on the team for the rest of the Expansion Era, serving as the team’s go-to roboticist and engineer whenever they had engineering needs.
During Season 24 and the dash for the Horizon, Honeywell became the self-appointed team caretaker, reminding his teammates to eat, take breaks, and take care of themselves. In an interview, he said, “Of course I’m afraid of the Horizon. But I’m mostly afraid of us handling it poorly. This is a big deal. We’re going in as a team.” Honeywell was last seen trying to engineer a communication device that would allow the Lift to speak to Cudi Di Batterino inside his shell.
Personal Life
Honeywell is a gay man, and self-identifies as a bear. He has also said that while he prefers he/him pronouns, he enjoys being referred to as she/her sometimes, just to spice things up. Honeywell lived in Pakistan for most of his life, until shortly before being called into active play, and is a practicing Hindu.
Honeywell has been closely linked to teammate Domino Bootleg. Part of this is practical, as Bootleg is robotic in nature and Honeywell is an accomplished roboticist. However, rumors have suggested that the two knew each other prior to being teammates, prior to being in the shadows together, and even prior to Honeywell joining the Lift’s roster. Neither have commented publicly, but they are frequently seen talking and standing together at games and other social events.
Honeywell is a father of three, and has been open about his decision to have children over the Grand Siesta. While she has expressed regret about now being in active play and in danger, Honeywell remains close with his children. As of Season 24, the kids are in their late teens/early 20s, and come to Lift games as often as they can. All three children also appear to be close with Bootleg.
While in Tokyo, Honeywell shared a makerspace with Yusef Fenestrate, Concrete Mandible, and Terrell Bradley, the latter of which he bonded with over the joys of fatherhood. Honeywell primarily uses the space for robotics endeavors, but occasionally tries his hand at watercolors, just for the fun of it.Theodore Honeywell/IF-84.755
Theodore Honeywell is an ordinary adult Kodiak brown bear, weighing 482 kg (1063 lbs) and measuring 238 cm (7 ft 10 in) long. He has a similar diet and mannerisms to his wild counterparts. Honeywell can only communicate with his body language and occasional growls, because he does not speak any language to communicate with, because he is bear. When referring to Honeywell, his teammates usually use nicknames, such as “Teddy”, “Theo”, or “Dad”.
Fatherhood
Honeywell is the proud father of three cubs, named Grr, Grrraar, and Marcus Honeywell. Honeywell’s children have been blaseball fans all their lives, so when Honeywell spotted an open application for a new Internet League team, he filed the paperwork to join the Tokyo Lift. However, because the team already had a complete roster at the time of application, Honeywell had to wait in the shadows for nearly eleven seasons. When he was called up by voicemail in season 21, Honeywell made sure he partied enough to secure his place on the team’s active roster. He wanted to make his cubs proud.
Despite the language barrier between Honeywell and everyone around him, everyone collectively agrees that Honeywell has an innate “air of dadliness”. Fans and fellow players have reported feeling comfortable and safe around Honeywell, and getting the idea that Honeywell was proud of them after good plays. Honeywell’s “nice vibes” (as described by Yusef Fenestrate) made him easily likable, quickly becoming a friend of the whole team. Grr, Grrraar, and Marcus live with Honeywell in the Legscraper’s garden.
Play Style
Being a Kodiak bear, Honeywell naturally plays blaseball in very unique ways. Because he can’t hold a bat or properly throw a ball, Honeywell instead opts to swat at the ball in the general direction he wants it to go. This is surprisingly effective.
Honeywell also doesn’t seem to completely understand the splort. It’s unclear whether he knows that he’s supposed to stay on-base, as he often wanders away only to get caught stealing. He occasionally tries to hunt Salmon or eat grass in the outfield, but other than those isolated incidents Honeywell is a very competent fielder. This contrast in skill and knowledge of the game has confused many fans, but Honeywell doesn’t seem to mind.Theodore Honeywell/IF-9.252
Theodore Honeywell, swolest of carnivores
Decked nose-to-tail in long caramel hair
This is no bearded dude posting on Grindr,
Teddy's a literal (Kodiak) bear
Theodore Honeywell, lover of partytime
Hungry for glory and hungry for gains
Waited ten seasons to step from the Shadows
Partied three times in his first twenty games
Theodore Honeywell, thumbs unopposable,
Can't grasp a bat in his razor-sharp claws
Treats the pitched ball like a migrating salmon
Deals it an almighty whack with his paws
Theodore Honeywell, slowest of blaserunners,
Hampered not just by prodigious size;
Party hats slip down his steep-sloping forehead,
Lumbers off-course when they cover his eyes
Theodore Honeywell, big Team Dad energy,
Backs up his teammates in manifold ways
Stands eight feet tall rearing up on his hindlegs
Weighs half a ton and could hug you for days
Theodore Honeywell, hero of Tokyo
Pride of Alaska and king of the den
Patiently features in countless bear with me jokes
Predator, Blaseballer, teammate and friend
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