San Franstadium

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(Redirected from The Polyhedron)

The San Franstadium (also known as The Polyhedron) is the home stadium for the San Francisco Lovers. While this might be its most famed function, it is primarily a community center and garden to help support community members and educate them on their new independent San Francisco. It also has a poppin' Neo Disco Club suspended over the field.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.


Location & History

The Polyhedron is located at the geographical center of the Romantic Collaborative of San Francisco. This is a direct result of the Polyhedron actually being Theo King and Knight Triumphant's old apartment building, transformed when the Lovers came under new sponsorship. Prior to this, the site of all the Lovers' games and practices was actually just the parking lot of a nearby abandoned REDACTED[2] with a poorly-drawn[3] chalk shape in it, slightly resembling a Blaseball quadrilateral from a distance.

Upon Theo King's abdication of the throne and the formation of the Collaborative, he initially only claimed his apartment as sovereign territory. Knight Triumphant had to convince King to extend his claim, stating "I don't want to have to cross customs two ways to pick up Subway, bro." In the face of this indisputable reasoning, the Romantic Collaborative expanded to include all the area within a 20-block radius. None of the inhabitants of these city blocks seemed to mind the sudden political shift, with most people questioned on the matter saying, "Oh, wait, you're telling me the Big O owns this block now? Nice, good for him. He needs a win."

Notably, no one actually observed the creation of the Polyhedron. Everyone living in the Collaborative was invited for a Chill Hang Sesh (CHS) at King's place to celebrate the arrival of Percival Wheeler directly into Knight's bowl of oatmeal. As happens with every CHS, everyone partied hardy. When everyone awoke from their party coma, the new Polyhedron had consumed half of the entire Collaborative, and business cards that said "Thank you for choosing The Feeling of Seeing Your Partner Again After Having Not Seen Them For a While!" littered the floor.

Significant Features

  • Mondays are complimentary days and so donations are discouraged.
  • Upon entering the arena, ushers will hand you a card with a personalized compliment. This was a stipulation in the Lovers' contract[4] with The Feeling.

Residential Areas

  • Part hostel, part VIP box, part reentry project, all home: the residential areas of the Polyhedron are a motley assortment of repurposed apartments, shipping containers, and a least two moored dirigibles from the Venture Capital Wars. The residents have bulwarked this quilted assemblage with microgrids, floating wind turbines, and an incomprehensible profusion of hammocks, bean bags, and those injection molded plastic chairs that unaccountably appear at church picnics.

Communal Garden

  • As befits a collaborative powered by human optimism, love, and demons, the Polyhedron features extensive greenscaping and agroponic systems throughout. Produce found therein is by and large organic, nutritious, colorful, and often incredibly psychotropic. Farmer's Markets take place along the border with the Mission Remnants twice a month.

Blaseball Arena

  • Unusually for a blaseball arena, the bleachers have no regulation seating. Instead the Polyhedron is surrounded by tiered beanbag seating. It's pretty chill.

The PolyArmory

  • The PolyArmory is a large equipment storage room connected to the main blaseball field, where the Lovers equip themselves for home games. It is stocked with only the finest works from The Batsmith, displayed on wooden racks. Several Lovers also store their breastplates and other various armors here between games.
  • In the center of the PolyArmory is the fabled Excalibat. It and the stone that holds it were moved here from their previous resting place where Queen King I returned it to after uniting the various Feudal Fairs to form The Royal Kingdom of San Francisco in XX54.

Neo-Disco Club

  • Team captain Triumphant hosts "Karaoke Knight" every Friday. They reliably close the evening with a spirited rendition of "My Girlfriend's Girlfriend's Swordblat" accompanied by the Polyhedron's ballpark organ.

Infield

  • The dirt infield of the Polyhedron is heart-shaped. This is against standard Blaseball regulations, and many attempts to amend the aberration have been made. However, the dirt stubbornly will not yield into any other landscape; presumably due to the Power of Love. Eventually an exception was made for the Lovers' anomalous home field because it's "just too damn cute." Unaccustomed fielders will occasionally trip on the grass line due to its unorthodox perimeter.
  • There have also multiple incidents of blases mysteriously becoming heart shaped, though the phenomenon has never been observed directly. This has resulted in many tough calls for the umpires during particularly lovely steals and slides. While the cause is still unknown, popular fan theories include it being an unintended part of Kichiro Guerra's Magical Transformation, or an effect of Ortiz Lopez's gorgon stare. However, the anomaly has yet to occur at any other team's home field.

References

  1. [1]
  2. All historians have been able to recover from the sprawling complex are trays of ancient meatballs that appear to still be fit for consumption; packages of DIY wooden furniture; and several giant blue plastic letters K, A, I, and E littered across the property. They suspect that these letters, when assembled in the correct order and uttered aloud, will summon the end of Blaseball forever.
  3. King tried his best, alright? Don't hate.
  4. No one actually read the contract before they signed it. It was used as rolling paper for the next CHS.