Talk:Lucien Patchwork

Lucien is mentioned a couple times in an update to Cudi's page:

"The two also spent time with Lucien Patchwork. Di Batterino has commented that he valued Patchwork being able to work out."

"Additionally, his experience as a personal trainer for weightlifting proved useful for training teammates, and he encouraged some of his less athletically inclined teammates to join him in some more basic introductory exercises. These efforts later became the basis of his friendship with Patchwork.

"When Patchwork became Shelled, Di Batterino was notably shaken by the seeming loss of his friend, as well as by peanuts returning to haunt him. After regaining his wits, he began creating means to communicate with Patchwork inside the shell. These means have included variants on Morse code, knocking on the shell, and using technological means to try to amplify spoken words. Di Batterino also could be found playing loud music near Patchwork’s shell and singing along. When asked, he said that he hoped Patchwork was singing too."

Summary: Lucien is a plush patchwork snake with button eyes, a shoe lace tongue, and wears a straw hat like a scarecrow. It’s made up of scraps of other Moist Talkers players’ casual clothing.

Today, Patchwork has decided to appear as a mixture of some of its previous forms, namely a plush patchwork snake donning a straw hat, much like a scarecrow. I noticed that some of the fabric that was used to “patch” itself together seemed familiar, and after asking around I have noted that several scraps of fabric consisting its form came from various teammates’ casual clothing; Greer was notably miffed, as a piece of fabric that make up its mouth was from one of her peeled blaseball skins that she was “saving for later”. She calmed down after seeing Lucien’s form, I assume she was content knowing other teammates have also had something of theirs “borrowed”. Beasley, Budy, and Beans were especially enamoured by Patchwork's new form; from what I could observe, somehow it had successfully incorporated a shoe lace as its tongue and its design acutely resembles different toys they would rest on, and that has lead the players to spend as much time in between rotations playing with it. During its turn on the field, it appeared Patchwork would curl its tail around a bat during batting and while running to bases, it appeared to half-slither-half-hop at impressive speeds. It does not seem to be verbal, however, its hisses were reported to have a strange drawl, and despite having button eyes that is capable of sight, it seems to still tongue-flick, much like a realistic snake. I will admit, I am curious to see if this form is effective at scaring crows away from plants given its scarecrow-like appearance, however, as Good is quite fond of some of the crows that fly over the Gleek, I shall put this hypothesis under hiatus for now.

Summary: Lucien is sometimes three raccoons in a trenchcoat.

Patchwork today appears to be three raccoons. I initially thought someone must have left the lab window open overnight, but as soon as they saw me they formed a three-raccoon tower inside a trenchcoat that I definitely didn't leave here, making it pretty clear that they are actually Patchwork. They don't speak, though they do chitter. For the game, they put Lucien's jersey on over the trenchcoat. I was unable to get a good look at how they swung the bat. They abandoned the trenchcoat while running the bases. As seems to be usual with unexpected forms of Patchwork, the umpires did not object. They wore the trenchcoat while fielding, but did not field any balls while I was observing them.

Day 94, Season 21.

Last game, one Lucien Patchwork was given the Shelled affliction, after Peanut Holloway tasted the Infinite.

This curious ailment encases the recipent in a giant peanut shell, as I have noted before in several of my previous studies. However, many of my teammates have reported since Patchwork's shelling, that they have seen Patchwork not only exit the shell, but apparently shapeshift from being the shell itself!

This requires more investigation, but thus far I have not seen any indication that Patchwork is capable of exiting the shell, despite my best efforts, and most of the team seems to have seen Patchwork outside. There are too many similar stories to conclude they are playing a joke on me, and therefore these allegations shall be deemed true until otherwise proven, even though I cannot prove such as of current.

I will begin a stakeout on the location of the shell promptly. This mystery will be solved.

Day 14, Greason 23

the mysery has not been solvbed.

Personal Info Little is known about Patchwork as they are rarely seen outside of Gleek Arena and attempts to interview them have been stifled due to what a Moist Talkers representative claimed was an “ongoing scientific investigation”. However, recently files pertaining to Patchwork thought to be confidential were intentionally leaked on Commissioner Vapor’s “Secret Saturday” stream, with Vapor claiming “I found these in my Mo-... Mooney’s files and she makes duplicates of everything so there’s no way she’ll miss these.” Excerpts from Vapor’s live reading are shared below

Patchwork Investigative Brief

Day 1:

The entity is unlike any I’ve seen. Vapor was certainly an initially chaotic force but this is an entire realm apart. Most tools I’ve attempted to use to examine its nature have failed to register any sort of reading or simply fell apart upon close proximity to the entity. The ghouls at the ILB have insisted the entity “play ball” despite its current state and I am unfortunately unable to deny their request.

Day 5:

Promising results from tests B-20 and C-44, Entity is able to communicate and has been found to be rather pleasant despite its tendency to completely confuse me at every turn. Nevertheless progress is progress.

Day 14:

Unusual results today. Despite all the evidence to the contrary a lab assistant insists the entity is “A Dalmatian, 100% a certified Dalmation”. Placed assistant under observation pending completion of this project.

Day 25:

Very exciting results. The entity has begun to become accustomed to several “forms” and has even begun taking on specific personality traits. We have begun to create a compendium of the forms and the unique traits of each. When we asked if it had decided on a designation it claimed “Lucien Patchwork!”. After this I went to the archives to log the information but surprisingly I found the name Lucien Patchwork on all files dating back to our first discovery of the entity, including the temporary ILB registration I was forced to submit. Puzzling, must investigate further.