Sutton Dreamy/Rumor Registry

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Sutton Dreamy has 4 Rumors written about so far.

Sutton Dreamy/IF-32.229

Sutton is a dreamer and a dream. She can see the dreams of others; their hopes, their ideals, their insecurities, their nightmares. Glimpses flicker, bloom, and unfurl around any and every person she crosses. It can be overwhelming and numbing at the same time. She has a flat affect from it that doesn't waver even before the most frightening or joyful experiences of her life.

But Sutton is also herself a dream, an idealization, or the very concept of "the ideal" made real. And so, there is a parasitism there, that she cannot control. Whenever she meets someone new, at the start, she sees through them all their highest highs and lowest lows, their raw nerves, their rushes, their triggers, their glimmers. But the longer she is around people, the more they are exposed to her, the more she becomes their ideal. Their fantasies take on a familiar presence, their insecurities become reflections of what she specifically might think, their ambitions and reflections revolve around her because to them she becomes this most perfect being. And the longer she is around others, her life becomes a funhouse mirror hell where she sees nothing but twisted, objectified, idealized reflections of herself, the idea of herself, through the eyes and hearts of those who she thought could be her friends.

To others, she stops being a person and becomes this shape that demarcates their own identities, or this Sutton-shaped hole in their hearts where they pour their potential into, and it repulses her. And to herself, she sees, through the eyes and hearts of others, a fascimile of Sutton Dreamy destroying the identity of the people she likes most, killing them not in body but in soul and replacing them with twisted figments of herself, and that repulses her more. Even though it isn't something she is responsible for nor controls, she feels disgusted with herself when she feels disgusted with others. The Sutton Dreamy of her own nightmares might be the most false and twisted fascimile of them all, if she could only see it.

Sutton Dreamy is close friends with Tillman Henderson, specifically because he only thinks of himself.

Sutton Dreamy/IF-67.48


The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Sutton has been voted "Sexiest Blaseball Player" more years than any other player in the league. Crabs fans can often be seen sporting her uniform in support of her excellence, which consists of a tank top made of ripped fishnet to represent Crab freedom and also looking sexy.

It has been theorized that Dreamy is a two dimensional being who dreamed so hard of the third dimension she reached it. When asked about this in interviews, Dreamy responds only with a laugh described by Sporbs Inundated as "impossibly alluring."

When pressed on her relaxed attitude to the game, Dreamy has said "I haven't had a chance to stretch my legs in years. Get off my damn back. How on earth do you expect me to get a breather while being pelted by balls? I hate this damn game."

Dreamy has never been seen dressed in anything other than their Crabs uniform, and it is unlikely that she can take it off. Fortunately this does not violate the lax dress code of the Hawai'i Fridays (though it has caused some confusion since the Crabs' return).

Birth and Early Life

Dreamy was reportedly brought into being by teammate Combs Duende, when Duende was asked during a team-building exercise to draw "the perfect Blaseball player". Dreamy emerged from the page fully formed like a Blaseball-bat-wielding Athena, and was recruited for the Crabs immediately.

Since Sutton emerged onto the blaseball scene, she began sweeping township and regional beauty pageants across the eastern seaboard year after year, despite never applying for nor showing up to any events. When asked in interview, she expressed outward agitation at the constant stream of unwanted trophies being shipped to her home, and has said she has to actively forfeit state and national competitions "to stop this from spreading any farther."

Night Mode

Following the elections of Season β6, Sutton Dreamy was granted the Night Vision Goggles. Though reluctant to wield them at first due to their lack of aesthetic sensibilities, aid from Parker Parra both helped redecorate it and ascertain its unique functionalities, spotted thanks to both Parker and Sutton's own dimensional sensibilities.

Sutton Dreamy's Night Vision Goggles run on an antisolar battery tied to the light waves emitted by Solar Eclipse events, granting standard night vision and immunity to the eye-scorching rays of the eclipsed sun. Additionally, they also have functionality for peering into and granting interface with multiple parallel dimensions - while currently too unpredictable to reliably interact with specific alternate universes, these capabilities have granted Sutton a greater understanding of the splort and highly heightened performance under eclipse.

Multiple tabloids have already publicized at great length Sutton's new batting technique, in which she knocks the ball at a precise strength and direction that allow the goggles to tear the blaseball into an alternate reality. This has been declared both a home run and a foul ball at different occasions, though the reason for these differing opinions on the behalf of the umpires has yet to be discovered.

Sutton Dreamy/IF-73.48

Discovery and Hiring

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
Sutton Dreamy was discovered by the Crabs following an early pre-Season One practice game, during which an luminescent cloud of nebulous matter moved onto the field and asked "excuse me, I think I'm dreaming. Could I have some help?"

Upon a short trek through the flooded streets of Baltimore, the directions of the cloud that would later come to be known as Sutton Dreamy revealed an unconscious living body lying within an abandoned house. MRI scans and medical examinations failed to produce evidence regarding the cause of this manifestation - or indeed, any results besides garbled noise at all - and following a quick discussion between team co-managers Howard and Dwayne they were signed on to the team, mostly because they were short on people and didn't know where else to place her.

As a manifestation of Sutton Dreamy's sleeping body's unconscious, Sutton Dreamy is a selectively material form that frequently shifts in color, shape, sound, texture, and scent. However, most of their appearances up to bat have manifested as humanoid clouds of multicolored stardust.

Sutton Dreamy's dream self, like other blaseball players, does not sleep, though this is likely more because they are already asleep. As a result, they spend most nights wandering the fields of the Crabitat.

While they are able to move freely independent of their sleeping body, Sutton has expressed strain at moving too far from it, and thus have requested the other players of the Crabs to help carry the body in a wheelbarrow to and from away games to sit on the sidelines. Notably, Tillman Henderson has never been spotted assisting in this task. Ugh. Typical Tillman.

Night Mode

Following the election results of Season β5, the Crabs were granted multiple blessings, of which Rollback Netcode and Horde Hallucinations impacted Sutton. As their eternal sleep is functionally an indefinite hallucination anyways, Sutton has reported holding a far more material form and heightened lucidity following the events, adding to the heightened number of home runs struck by her over the Crabs' impeccable Season β6.

During the election of Season 6, she was additionally granted the Night Vision Goggles. A lack of instruction manual or guide as to whether it was intended to be attached to her dreamself or sleeping body hampered its initial use, but tinkering aid from Axel Trololol helped clarify the function of the device.

Sutton Dreamy's Night Vision Goggles run on an antisolar battery tied to the light waves emitted by Solar Eclipse events, and along with standard night vision and immunity to the eye-scorching rays of the eclipsed sun, also grant Sutton the ability to peek into other players' dreams, even while those players are awake. This unique ability has proven to hone her play dramatically during games under an eclipse, as the dreams of her opponents seem to act as portents regarding blaseball details such as the curve of the pitch and the expectations of the outfield.

Sutton Dreamy/IF-90.38

In Literature

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
Crabs Poet Laureate Runolfio Peeper wrote the following about Dreamy:

She bats in beauty, like the flight
Of frozen ropes and deep hit flies,
Or line drives vanishing from sight,
Their trail reflected in her eyes,
Which enchant anyone who might
Espy this Crab, who we apprize.

Some visions seem hard to believe,
And seeing Sutton is to peep
Upon such heaven to deceive
A man to think they’d counted sheep.
For who but dreaming could achieve
These fantasies outside of sleep?

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