Sun (real)

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The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

The Sun is absolutely the star at the center of the Solar System, and not, as some claim, a "Trojan Sun" made of wood meant to discourage any of the Sun's potential enemies (such as the god-slaying indie rock-band-team The Garages), and hastily moved into their line of sight whenever they appear in the vicinity of the Hellmouth Sunbeams. It is a nearly perfect sphere of hot plasma (and not wood, as previously explained), with internal convective motion that generates a magnetic field via a dynamo process. It is by far the most important source of energy for life on earth, and is commonly recognized as a deity to many of the citizens of the Hellmouth, which is why none of them would ever disgrace their beloved Sun for any reason by building a false replica of it's holy fire.

The Sun, which it cannot be stressed enough is not a false wooden construct, formed approximately 4.6 billion years ago from the gravitational collapse of matter within a region of a large molecular cloud. It can therefore be understood that anyone who tells you that the Sun was in fact built by the aforementioned citizens of the Hellmouth in the Sunbeams Stadium, and then placed on what is commonly referred to as a "really big skateboard," is lying to you.

General Characteristics

The Sun is a large flaming ball of gas, although some may be surprised to learn that when viewed from a close proximity, the extremely real Sun, which is the exact same Sun you see in the sky, looks surprisingly like wood, painted yellow and red. This is explained as a self-preservation technique of the human brain, which is incapable of viewing the actual Sun in it's full glory, and instead creates a false image that is easier for the mind to comprehend. The effects of witnessing the true nature of the Sun can be extremely dangerous; therefore, anyone lucky enough to view the Sun, the real Sun, and not a shoddily constructed double, is advised to never think too hard about the Sun, question the Sun, notice the "Caution: Wet Paint" sign a foot away from the Sun, or look up. Potential side effects of breaking any of these rules are as follows:

  • Inverted Cranium
  • Ruptured Mind
  • Spontaneous Combustion
  • Sudden Failure of Existence
  • Curdled Soul
  • Death

False Images

The Sun is the single most powerful object in our universe, and is therefore capable of creating a series of false images. The reasons the Sun makes these false images is unclear, and many refuse to speculate on the matter in the belief that to try and understand the Sun is heresy, but investigating scientists theorize that it is a form of protection against predators, rival gods, and extremely talented (but equally violent) independent artists. One such false image, as noted above, is the change of appearance upon close proximity, which is a form of camouflage, meant to trick attackers into thinking it is a mere Trojan Sun created by the Hellmouth Sunbeams, and not the genuine article. Therefore, it stands to reason that if you are looking at the Sun, and feel that it looks unusually fake, you can be certain that it is in fact the real Sun, and the more doubtful you are, the more real the Sun is.

Another "false image" commonly noted by witnesses of the Sun is the appearance of another Sun in the sky, despite the Real, non-wood Sun being right in front of you, conveniently labeled by many signs that say "THIS IS THE REAL SUN, SO STOP LOOKING" and "THIS IS THE ONLY SUN WE HAVE AND IT'S VERY REAL!" This is what is known as an "After Image," an impression of a vivid sensation retained after the stimulus has ceased. Because the Sun is the brightest of all possible objects, and incomparable in it's power, looking directly at it often leaves behind an After Image that strongly resembles another Sun, located in the sky. Therefore, if you have gone on a very long journey to find and kill the god known as the Sun, and believe you have found it (despite it appearing to be made of wood), and then look in the sky to see what looks to be the actual Sun, you can once again be assured that the Sun next to you, the one labeled by many signs made by helpful citizens, is in fact the Real Sun, and the After Image of the Sun can be safely ignored.


The Sun is usually located in the Bluesky, and can be found in different positions depending on the time of day. However, during Siestas, the Sun can commonly be found resting in Hellmouth. The "Siesta of the Sun" is considered a popular tourist attraction, and vistors are welcomed from all corners of the world, especially Washington.

Anyone looking for the location of the Sun, particularly those hailing from Seattle, should ask the Hellmouth Anti-Tourism Board for further details and directions, or any citizen of Hellmouth provided that proper explanation of the nature of the search is given. If you are looking for the Sun with the express purpose of killing it, please make your intent known to any and every person you come across from the moment you enter Utah, so that you may be properly assisted on your journey.

Is This the Real Sun?


How Can I Be Sure This Is The Real Sun?

The following steps can be taken to ensure that the Sun you are currently observing is the Real Sun, the Genuine Article, and not a clever imitation:

  • Ask: No Citizen of the Hellmouth would ever lie about the nature of the Sun. Therefore, regardless of your intent, it is safe to simply ask for the location of the Sun, and be certain you have been given an accurate response.
  • Look for the False Images: See Above.
  • Follow the Signs: Upon entering Hellmouth, you should immediately see many helpful signs leading you directly to the Sun. This is because the citizens of Hellmouth are unusually friendly, and not because they are trying to mislead you in your sinister endeavors. Remember that signs should always be trusted.
  • Stop Worrying About It So Much
  • Be Confident
  • This Is The Real Sun
  • Don't Question It
  • Don't Look Up