Son Scotch/Rumor Registry

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Rumors

Son Scotch has 3 Rumors written about so far.

Son Scotch/IF-16.02

On Season 14 Day 36, "Son" was still on the field after the umpire’s fire burned out. All involved were confused by this development, but "Son" was removed from the field as a nonplayer, suggesting that something had indeed fundamentally changed.

Upon investigation, the individual left behind still had Son's biometric identification and remembered the same passwords. Most of the Spies were confused, but Yeong-Ho Garcia, who had joined the team post-Grand-Siesta, was the first to realize what had happened: the memetic effect that made Son Scotch into Your Son was gone. After extensive interviews with the Son-entity and consultation with Marco Escobar, Garcia further concluded that Son Scotch’s underlying form had existed for centuries, that it had been suffering from severe depression for the majority of its life, and that it had unintentionally grown the metaphysical glamor of being a son in order to feel like it could belong, to feel cared-for.

The other Spies were initially shocked by this revelation, but being secret agents, they understood what it meant to spend so long living under a false identity. They could understand why the illusion had been created. And they could feel that the love and care was real. This individual wasn’t their son, but the person they'd played Blaseball with for so many years was still there, and in some sense they could still belong.

According to multiple mutually contradictory reports, the Son-entity now drives the team’s sleeper bus to away games, and/or lives under a forged identity as a normal resident of the Houston area.

Son Scotch/IF-19.198

Son’s incineration on Season 14 Day 36 was a shock to everyone across the League. Some fans had previously theorized that the umpires would never hurt them, seeing as how even umpires would presumably be affected by the memetic effect that would make them believe Son to be their son. Thus, there have been sporadic rumors that Son had faked their own death, and if so, that the Spies would have been capable of using their resources to give them an assumed identity to grow up in.

Claims of Son's continued existence occasionally surface. Leaked security camera footage from locations around Houston appears to portray someone who closely resembles Son attending a local community college, and there exist recently timestamped images of Son visiting NaN and York Silk. The Spies steadfastly deny the truth of all such reports, and on one notable occasion the representative instead gave an impromptu lecture on how to use Phlotoshop to remove someone from a picture.

Son Scotch/IF-83.982

On day 14 of season 36, Son Scotch was incinerated. A large fraction of the league went into mourning, distraught at the loss of their Son. A number of mutually contradictory obituaries were published, describing Scotch as being of different ages, attending different schools, and having different major accomplishments.

On every day 36 of every season since, the Spies light candles in Scotch’s memory, and the Spies fans in the stands are completely silent, an observance known as “Sonday.”

Feedbacked and visiting players often describe the Spies as having a parental streak, likely due to long-term exposure to Son Scotch’s metaphysical anomaly. Even now, they are particularly protective of “younger” and less emotionally mature players like Dudley Mueller.


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