Solar Distortion (Band)

From Blaseball Wiki

Solar Distortion is a band composed of 6 demons that are contractually obligated to play before every home game of the Hellmouth Sunbeams, in an attempt to appease The Sun. They play songs with heavy solar theming exclusively. Their genre could be described as a mix of the heaviest death metal on planet earth and 90's commercial jingles. Even though he was forcibly removed from the band, JEFF sometimes does guest vocals, much to the chagrin of the band and everyone in attendance. Through the efforts of their manager Ray, Solar Distortion has tried to branch off into playing other venues, but through a combination of Ray's inability to communicate with living beings and the band's abrasive and unique sound they have largely been ignored everywhere else except for the Hellmouth Stadium.


  • Amon (Drums)
  • Mantus (Rhythm Guitar)
  • Nergal (Lead Guitar)
  • Kevin (Bass)
  • Behemoth (Vocals)
  • Balaam (Keyboard)

Past Members

  • JEFF (Whatever Instrument He Felt Like At The Time)


Solar Distortion has often run into trouble with the Sunbeam's management for making messes during their performances due to their use of props in the form of fake blood and fake blood cannons during performances. As per the contract that binds them to perform before every home game, the games cannot start until the band is finished playing. It has been an issue, then, that some Solar Distortion songs last up to six hours.