Riley Firewall/Rumor Registry
Rumors
Riley Firewall has 4 Rumors written about so far.
Riley Firewall/IF-23.3M0
Riley Firewall is the younger sibling of former Miami Dale player Raúl Leal, though not much is known about Firewall's life prior to their recruitment to the ILB.
It is believed that prior to the events of Leal's last game, Firewall lacked the distinctive eyepatch that they have worn throughout their career; however, the player is notoriously tight-lipped on the subject, and hides the patch under a curtain of fire hair.
Early Life
Firewall was often seen in the stands spectating Dale games when Leal would play. After games, it was not uncommon to see the two sharing earbuds and excitedly discussing the game. It is understood that Leal was Firewall's entree into blaseball, and taught them how to play in their childhood backyard.
The Incineration of Raúl Leal
On the day of the incineration, witnesses recounted that Firewall appeared to see the attack coming, and attempted to stop it. Leal turned towards the stands and smiled, and Firewall leapt over the wall to intercept. The ensuing explosion of fire engulfed Leal, Firewall, and the Umpire. After the smoke cleared, only Firewall was left on the charred ground, clutching a charred splinter of the Iffey Jr. in one hand and their eye in the other. They were quickly ushered from the field by team manager Mr. Wide while replacement deliberations were made.
After a brief time out, Firewall returned to the field with a bandage covering their left eye, and began to play. Spectators and opponents noted in later interviews that Firewall played the rest of the game with an intense focus, only looking to the crowd once when the game was over, to fix their gaze upon the darkly tinted spectator box high in the stands and point their bat directly at it.
Personal Life
Firewall is a notoriously unsociable recruit, rarely giving interviews or making appearances at league functions. Rumours of a secret relationship with Atlantis Georgias player Geraldine Frost have swirled since they were spotted together on the outskirts of an afterparty in a Miami club, but both are tight-lipped when questioned. Of this rumour, Miami Dale star hitter and Party Animals founder Logan Horseman said "why snitch when you can pitch?" When it was pointed out to Horseman that he was, in fact, not a pitcher, he fell backwards into a pool full of red Jello, ending the line of questioning.
Since Joining the Jazz Hands Firewall has been introduced to Liquid Friend and introduced them to Frost at one of the Pockets productions, since then the three of them have been seen together and this has sparked rumors of a relationship between the three of them, one popular ship name being Thermodynamic Equilovebrium.
Riley Firewall/IF-8.020
Creation and Appearance
Firewall is a being of pure code. They were created upon construction of Worldwide Field and have since acted as a virtual assistant, programmed to aid stadium staff and Dale players. Following the death of Raúl Leal, Riley’s Friendly Incineration Relief Entity (F.I.R.E.) protocol was reportedly activated. This allowed them to create a physical form to better help the team recover emotionally and statistically their loss. It is believed that they chose the form of a clown due to a programming flaw. This faulty algorithm implanted in Riley the belief that clowns are universally beloved and effective in matters of grief management; thus, they believed it an optimal form for their main appearance. They have pure white skin like clown paint, a red clown nose, red circular cheek marks, red lipstick, and blue curly hair that goes below the shoulders. They are always seen in their Dale uniform and cap, but instead of athletic shoes, they exclusively wear oversized sky blue and mint clown shoes. According to their teammates, they chose these shoes due to an overly literal interpretation of people saying “they have big shoes to fill after the death of Raúl Leal.”
Technical Limitations
Firewall's hardware and software are known to be deficient and unreliable, having been homebrewed in absurdly convoluted ways. Reportedly, even something as simple as their internal clock runs on a combination of a sundial and light sensors. According to eye witnesses, they have trouble understanding normal technology, and many have suggested that this is due to their faulty system. When coming across a standard calculator, they have even been overheard making comments such as “What do you MEAN the number 7 is actually hard-coded into this thing and doesn't need to be installed as DLC?" and "What do you mean you just push numbers and get answers? Where are all the patched-in values and numerical interactions?"
Because of this terrible programming and hardware, their physical form suffers regular display and motion glitches. Common errors include visual scan lines in their projection and dropping objects due to sudden loss of materiality. When they are confused, which is reportedly often, error pop-ups resembling those of Binbows XP appear and float around their head. These glitches reportedly get worse when they experience intense emotion, regardless of whether that emotion is positive or negative. However, these reports are anecdotal; scientific experimentation on active Dale players was outlawed following the "Won't Be Control(led) Group" protests of 20XX.
Personal Life
Firewall speaks using a generic text-to-speech program. As they speak, a speech bubble appears in the air next to their mouth. These bubbles resemble those of Blimby, Michaelsoft’s infamous virtual assistant. Whenever Firewall says "dale," a media player appears in the speech bubble and plays one of hundreds of recordings of Pitblull saying "dale." Regardless of changes in the audio, the file is always labeled "Dale.mp3." Firewall's speech bubbles manifest physically, and they often use them as a blaseball bat.
Firewall spends most of their time off the field cheering on their fellow Dale players in their personal endeavors, helping around the ballpark, and studying the art of clownery. They have been observed drinking amounts of ELCTRC WTR that are far beyond recommended safety limits for a biological being to even be near, let alone consume. Tabloids have suggested that it is their main source of power; however, Firewall has never addressed such rumors.Riley Firewall/IF-9.1919
Personal History
Firewall is a highly compressed sound wave, the sophomore effort of DJ/part-time scientist Melvin Ochoa created after the success of Raúl Leal. They are reported as sounding something like tire screeching and smashed guitars. Firewall was covertly installed in Worldwide Field as an emergency security measure sometime between the Season β7 election and the beginning of Season β12.
First Game
On Season β13, Day 43, Firewall first appeared to the world when current lineup player and Fire Protector Raúl Leal was incinerated. According to many witness accounts, Firewall suddenly leapt into action in an attempt to protect Leal from the attack. Following their failure to protect their predecessor, Firewall played the rest of the game in Leal's place and Mr. Wide quietly signed them onto the team.
Personal Life
Firewall is nonverbal, communicating mostly through body language and signals. Their hobbies post-emergence include glowering, cutting the sleeves off of shirts, and striking poses.
Firewall is often seen attending parties with the rest of the team. Interviewed partygoers describe Firewall as very quiet and distant, usually standing around with a drink "looking cool," although a few question whether Firewall is having fun at all. When asked about Firewall's presumed lack of party spirit, fellow Dale players respond that they seem to "just be like that." Firewall uniformly rejects any request for interviews or photographs.Riley Firewall/IF-90.749
Item #: MAO-305
Party Class: ¡DALE!
Miami Anomalous Object Procedures: MAO-305 when spotted on security cameras is to be monitored for as long as possible. Disappearances and reappearances of MAO-305 are to be reported to Dr. Wide. Instances of MAO-305-A are to be given accommodations, invited to team parties, and no more than 4 and no less than 1 should be present in the dugout at any given time. We ask Miami Dale personnel and MAO-agents to not ask them questions along the lines of “What were you named before you joined the team?” and “Do you remember before?”. Instances of MAO-305-A who ask to retire are allowed to do so, nobody is forcing them to play blaseball, as long as at least one instance remains.
Description: MAO-305 refers to a temporal anomaly located within the confines of the Miami International Arena. It has been known to change locations on an unpredictable time period. It has been noted to occupy the same location for as short as 37 seconds, and as long as 38 days. Entrances to the room have appeared in the parking lot, near the hot dog vendor, and in one case appeared as the 6th stall in a bathroom with 5 stalls. Most visitors and employees of the park feel no curiosity or desire to enter MAO-305. Those who do however, henceforth become instances of MAO-305-A if allowed access into MAO-305.
After entering and subsequently exiting MAO-305, it's cognitohazardous and reality warping effects become apparent on MAO-305-a instances. The changes can vary wildly but some are shared between many MAO-305-A, and the changes are both behavioral and physical.
Possible Behavioral Changes Include but are not limited to:
- An urge to avenge Raúl Leal
- A sudden interest in hacking
- Adamantly claiming they are related to Raúl Leal, despite not sharing any known familial ties
- Becoming “Edgy”
Possible Physical Changes Include but are not limited to:
- Flaming Hair
- Purple Skin
- Mohawk
- Robotic augmentations
Despite wide variances of changes in subjects who have become part of MAO-305, all MAO-305-A instances claim to be named “Riley Firewall”. When asked about what is inside of MAO-305 by Miami Dale Personnel and MAO-Agents, the answers vary, but 59%(███ out of ███) of inquired instances claim it is “My Bedroom” or “The Riley Room”. This lines up with reports of instances heading into the room during bedtime hours.
Several Notable Instances include
| Instance Designation | Description of Instance |
| MAO-305-A-3 | Shortly after Riley Firewall was given accommodations in the form of a stereo system to play music on, this instance came out of MAO-305. It appears to be made from soundwaves much like Raúl Leal. While they seem to make many tire screeching sound effects due to their intrinsic nature as a soundwave, they also appear to be incapable of speech or have made a vow to silence. |
| MAO-305-A-7 | Another soundwave based Riley, although this one does not seem linked to the sound system installed in the room. The music tastes of Riley Firewall seem to have integrated themselves into this instance, giving them speech capabilities but also a personality physically based on grunge and nu gaze music. |
| MAO-305-A-9 | A Saint Bernard breed of dog with purple fur, with a red flaming tail. Instance was first seen after Qais Dogwalker let Riley Firewall take one of their dogs on a walk. Riley Firewall and Riley Firewall subsequently came back from the walk. MAO-305-A-█ was asked by Qais “What happened to ████” which prompted MAO-305-A-9 to speak out “Rim Riley Rirewall”[sic] and run around Miami International Arena barking and howling for an hour and 15 minutes while being chased by the Miami Dale team. Current questioning procedures were put into place after this incident. They are occasionally allowed to play fetch professionally on defense but should not be put into batting rotation unless no other Rileys are available. |
| MAO-305-A-13 | An instance of Riley Firewall that seems to be more comedic and less edgy than most. Has an aesthetic fitting the features defined by the occupation and performing art known as “Clowning”. Tries to cheer everyone up |
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