Rat Mason/Rumor Registry

From Blaseball Wiki


Rat Mason has 5 Rumors written about so far.

Rat Mason/IF-10.332

Mech Suit Mason

Rat Mason (née Polk) dreamed of being a Broadway star, but their diminutive stature left them frequently stuck at the end of the chorus line. After making friends with the technical crew to pass the time, Rat became adept at creating elaborate mechanical costumes, and soon graduated to full-body suits which completely obscured the wearer. Over time, Rat amassed an impressive and diverse collection, which they began wearing all over New York, delighting in the simple pleasures of performing normal-sized tasks like riding a rollercoaster or climbing a ladder. After a moderate disagreement about the destructive capacity of these suits (which is yet unknown), Rat decided to abandon the theatre and the Big Apple entirely, setting their sights on Los Angeles and the emerging splort of Blaseball.

Since joining the Tacos, Rat has rarely been seen outside one of their suits, and only by teammates and close associates. The appearance of Rat’s suit varies from game to game, but is typically modeled after humans, rats, or some combination of the two. This has led to wild speculation among the general public as to who (or what) is actually piloting these things. When asked who was inside the suits, McDowell Mason replied, “That's [Rat's] business, not yours,” and quickly walked off. Reports of Rat maintaining an armory of mechanized suits in their basement are unconfirmed at this time.

Many Blaseball fans theorize Rat to be either a human in a mechanical rat suit or a rat in a mechanical human suit. The former is supported by a few details from their past. In a series of interviews conducted by an investigative journalist from a local middle school’s bi-monthly newsletter, Rat’s old friends from New York described him as “shy,” “really, really, like comically small,” and “no not a literal rat, what in the world are you talking about.” They also disagreed over whether Rat was Mason’s actual first name, with some referring to it as nickname and one particularly confused woman claiming it was short for “Ratrick.”

Rat Mason/IF-14.662

Appearance as a Rat Piloting a Human-Sized Rat

Many have speculated that Mason is not actually the human-sized rat who goes by Rat Mason but instead is a rat who lives under his Blaseball cap and is, to quote social media, "piloting this [respectable] [fellow] Ratatouille-style." Tacos management has not confirmed this rumor due to a respect for Mason's privacy. When asked about these rumors, Manager Al Pastor said, "Sure we've never seen our boy Rat without his hat on, but we think it's like, totally chill if he's actually a rat who dreams of being a splorts star. Like they say: Anyone can Blaseball."

When pressed by reporters, an anonymous source who looks exactly like Mason but without a head had this to say: "Sure, I may or may not lose my free will to yanking on my hair while on the field, but hey; it sure is fun getting to play Blaseball in front of all those screaming fans".

Rat Mason/IF-18.61

Rat Mason is a Rat

Rat Mason, a small brown rat, grew up in New York City watching Blroadway productions and dreaming of becoming a professional dancer. His favourite play, The Nutcracker, inspired his hatred of legumes from an early point in life. Rat Mason moved to LA to pursue his dreams of living a flashier life and ended up residing in Hlollywood, where he also met his now-husband Penny. He cannot speak, but is able to write in and comprehend English, Spanish, and whatever language they speak in New York. Shortly after his arrival, Al Pastor tricked him into joining the Tacos by asking his name, and providing him a piece of "scrap paper" to write on which happened to be the Unlimited Tacos sign-up sheet. While his actual name appears to be Rathaniel, he insists that you can just call him Rat because "Rathaniel was [his] father's name".

While he has above-average intelligence and a strong affinity for Blaseball, he still desires food over anything and will frequently abandon bases, consequently getting tagged out for trying to chase the smell of tacos being prepared just outside of the stadium. He gets a lot of his food from attempting to steal from teammates, or from local taco trucks. Unfortunately for Rat, he is just as bad at stealing food as he is at stealing bases. His teammates will often give him food from their tacos anyway, because he is widely considered to be a lovable nuisance.

Rat bats with a normal-sized bat, which is very large for him. Because he is only a few inches tall, his teammates usually provide him with something like a stool or a stepladder to stand on while he bats. On one occasion, the team was unable to find something for him to stand on, leading Basilio Fig to volunteer to hold him up for the duration of the game.

Rat Mason/IF-41.597

Rat Mason and Their Pet Rat

Rat Mason, a young adult human, is never seen without the company of their pet rat. The pair's team has often reported finding them atop stairway railings or lockers while waiting for practice to begin, seemingly always moving. Graffitied walls spotted in and around Al Pastor Memorial Stadium are assumed to be Rat's work.

Prior to their career with the Tacos, Polk first entered the public eye when they held an elaborate marriage ceremony between their pet rat and a wild rat they referred to as Penny in the middle of Los Angeles. The reception was attended by several dozen mice, rats, squirrels, and other rodents, and afterward Polk paraded the couple through the streets with a megaphone, shouting "These Rats are Gay and there's Nothing you can do about it!"

Looking for a place to divert energy from mischief and hang out with people besides their pet rat, Polk signed up for Al Pastor's kickball league out of genuine interest. Finding out upon entry of the first scheduled day of practice that the league was indeed, not for Kickball, came as a shock, but the Rat duo quickly developed a knack for Blaseball. With their pet resting atop their head at bat, and promptly placed onto the field after hits to run bases together, the two have came to be known as a hit or miss duo, crucial to the Unlimited Tacos lineup.

The name Rat Polk, reported as their name in media outlets after the rat marriage, has been the only name to stick with them throughout their Blaseball career (albeit modified during the Wyatt Masoning). 'Polk' may or may not be short for 'Polkadot'.

Rat Mason/IF-41.705

Ratatouille Rat Mason

Rat Polk joined the Tacos looking for a chance at splorts fame, especially in kickball. Some may think it is kind of odd that they seemed to introduce himself as 'Matthew', wrote 'Rat' down on the sign-up sheet, and then proceed to stumble over his words for a full minute before announcing that they must have misheard and that he introduced himself as 'Ratthew'. Teammates and fans report peculiar behavior on the plate; he is frequently seen looking up and talking to himself, and wincing in pain when he misplays. Questions such as "Why do we never see him without his cap" and "Why does Rat preform like a Blittle League player during practice, but like a star during games" and "Why does he always leave the room when people talk about the stadium's rat problem" have led certain social media presences to insist that a rat living under Mason's Blaseball cap was, quote, "piloting this [respectable] [fellow] Ratatouille-style".

When asked about these rumors, Tacos manager Al Pastor said, "Sure we've never seen our boy Ratthew without his hat on, but we think it's like, totally chill if he's actually a rat who dreams of being a splorts star. Like they say: Anyone can Blaseball." Other Tacos have similarly declined to comment on the rumours out of respect for Mason's privacy. Mason is described as a bit of a himbo, often a klutz when off the field, and a normal dude out of his depth. He claims to enjoy carousel rides and has no strong opinions on the Bee Mlovie.

Unbeknownst to the press, 'Ratthew' is actually 'Rat' and 'Matthew'. Matthew, an aspiring kickball player, dramatically lacked athletic talent. Rat, a rat, was tragically and chronically bound by the laws of physics, preventing them from fulfilling their dream of becoming a famous splorts player, because they could not kick the “dang ball” effectively, despite their immense knowledge of “sports and also video games”. Rat approached Matthew for a team-up, and they have been working together Ratatouille-style ever since. Although Rat (the rat) is somewhat irritable when dealing with Matthew's blunders, the two of them are ultimately close friends.

For most of their blaseball career, the duo has been trying to keep their Ratatouille situation secret from the rest of the team, and although it is painfully obvious to almost everyone else, the team respected Ratthew's privacy and did not bring it up. In the aftermath of Season 9 Day X, distressed over the team's dramatic downsizing, Matthew and Rat admitted their situation to the Tacos, who in turn admitted that they'd already known that and supported it unconditionally (with the exception of the team mascot, Pepito, who had no idea but still supported them).

When referring to both Matthew and Rat, the team refers to them as Ratthew.

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