Parker Parra/IF-59.930

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Rumor / Community Lore
This article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community. It is just one of many Rumors that we've found in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill. You can find more Rumors about Parker Parra at their Rumor Registry.

Origins - A Mathamatical Improbability

While originating as a 5th dimensional entity, it is rumoured that Parker Parra was summoned to the immaterial plane by a troupe of rogue mathemagicians for some nefarious purpose. The details of the original summoning have been lost however, since the troupe is has not been seen since the ritual was completed, further shrouding them in mystery. There is much speculation on both the nature of the ritual, disappearances, and what entities may have been involved, but when asked for their take on the situation Parker responded that they "couldn’t care less".

Parker's behaviour seems to attest to this attitude as they have taken to the splort of blaseball with glee - taking time in figuring out the intricacies of life in the 3rd dimension and the wonders of the linear passage of time.

A Lover of Origami

Parker Parra has no shadows and the light hits them all wrong. Cameras pointed at them too long really don't like processing what they're seeing and neither do eyes. Crabs fans often don the freely provided solar eclipse glasses when Parra is up to bat even on moonless days.

Parra, Brock Forbes, and Sutton Dreamy share a tight bond over each being a unique dimensional anomaly, a trend among the Crabs that is beginning to look less and less coincidental with time. Parker and Forbes share a love of topology and higher maths, and can often be caught talking vivaciously into the night workshopping paper submissions.

Parraonce asked Forbes about a party trick they showed off in Season 5 when the team was eliminated from the postseason, where he rolled a perfectly spherical joint. Forbes explained that making an infinitesimal fold across all parallel dimensions is isomorphic to a single discrete fold punched through from outside the universe. Parra attempted this fold on the crab they were making at the time, and folded the crustacean inside out, spilling out a fractal of paper legs and antennae that Forbes, reportedly, exclaimed "kinda looks like Mom."

Interest in Hands

Parker and Dreamy, art by@ratgills

In interviews Parker has shown a remarkable interest in hands, often demonstrating their ability to make gestures and pick things up, and describing them as "The perfect adaptation for a 3D life." During a season 7 post-game interview Parker, without prompting, proceeded to list their most interesting experiences with hands. They ranked them as:

Notably, this interview took place while they were holding hands with teammate Sutton Dreamy.


After winning three championships with the Baltimore Crabs, Parker Parra ascended to the big leagues alongside the rest of the team. Coming back with a flinch however, their already middling batting meant they could rarely get on base. When the opportunity arose they were traded to the Boston Flowers for the Crab’s old star hitter, Nagomi Mcdaniel.

On the Boston Flowers

Parker Parra spent a single season pitching for the Boston Flowers before being traded back to the Crabs for their star pitcher Brock Forbes.

Return to the Crabs - A Loss

After their season away in Boston Parra returned to the Crabs in good spirits, and despite their abysmal pitching, enjoyed reuniting with their team in Baltimore.

When Brock Forbes died in Boston with the Flowers, Parra processed the event differently than most due to both their relationship with time, and Forbes’ relationship with space across multiple realities. In a sense it wasn’t an event that occurred now it was an event along the many timelines of Brock Forbes that has now passed for everyone else. Parra reached out to Sutton Dreamy, the third member of the Crabs “Dimensional Anomaly Club” to try and process this as the rest of the ILB experienced it, before moving on to try and help with the grieving Adalberto Tosser in Boston.

Parra’s initial attempts to comfort Tosser were unsuccessful, with them stumbling through that they were “sorry this Uh, I mean, it shouldn't have been a thing that happened. least, uh, here, and right where you could... I mean, like, I figure Brock would have talked to you about it, right? It was always in the possibility space-”. Naturally this didn’t go over well with Tosser, and the two of them shared tense words until the Flower broke them apart. However once you have known someone that long, and shared in grief and loss together, the smaller arguments fade as you both try and pull yourselves together. After short apologies the two of them took an evening to sit out and watch the stars, quietly sharing stories of their time with Forbes and reflecting on what they had both lost.