Montgomery Bullock/IF-84.75

From Blaseball Wiki

History

Often known as "Monty B" or "MoCo", Montgomery Cha-Cha Bullock is the namesake of Montgomery County, MD, in addition to reportedly being the physical manifestation of the county. No photographs or video footage exists of Montgomery Bullock by her own request. He is described as being a short/tall/medium-sized woman/man/player with green/brown/blue eyes and blonde/brown/red/purple hair.[1]

Early Life

According to historical record Montgomery Bullock was founded on October 1, 1776.  

According to eyewitness accounts, the physical form of Montgomery Bullock was born at the age of five in the Baltimore Crabs' home stadium during a training match. Eyewitnesses at the time stated that their mother pitched them in order to deliberately strike out the current batter.

Education

Bullock attended the Baltimore Blaseball Acrabemy as a child and quickly moved on to the Crustaceous Higher Institute for Blaseball Education (more commonly know as the CHIBE), the "sixteenth most prestigious blaseball academy in Baltimore[1]". Upon graduation, Bullock was accepted into trials for the Crabs immediately.

Blaseball Career

Bullock was made Captain of the BBA Hermits, the official inter-school team of the Baltimore Blaseball Acrabemy, and, upon graduating, had helped the Hermits achieve an almost unbeatable record of 736 wins and 12 losses.

She was repeatedly offered to be made the Captain of the CHIBE Fiddlers, but denied the offer, saying "I can't handle the spotlight".

Upon gaining a place in the Baltimore Crabs' roster, he has participated in every season of Blaseball.

Controversy

At the end of their education at the Baltimore Blaseball Acrabemy, Bullock faced allegations of theft and arson from the captain of rival team, the Third Blase Spiders. Bullock was accused of stealing and burning the bats and uniforms of the Spiders. Bullock was aquitted of all charges, however no verdict was returned as to whether or not they were true.

Bullock has also been sighted all over Montgomery county providing unsolicited advice to residents. Often simply appearing as an old gardener in the Brookside Gardens and discussing your career path with an intimate knowledge they should not possess. Most residents have described these encounters as “having a nice sentiment, but honestly a little creepy”.

Blood Donation

As a side effect of Montgomery Bullock draining blood from Alaynabella Hollywood during Season 6, several hospital workers within Montgomery County have reported sudden influx of filled blood bags within their infirmaries. The source of this is currently unknown, but most hospitals affected by this occurrence have taken it in stride.

Claims that the blood "carries the curse of the werehellhound" and unsafe to use in medical situations have been thoroughly disproven as hoaxes, and should under no means be investigated or suspected.

This incident did lead to speculation on the effects of other Blaseball weather phenomenon. While the recent influx of friendly birds has been welcome, others wonder what the effect of a targeted blooddrain, feedback, or even incineration may be on the county as a whole. While Bullock’s recent trades to the Hawaii Fridays and the Atlantis Georgias have had minimal effect, there is still some degree of trepidation when Bullock plays under the darkness of an eclipse.


In Literature

Crabs' Poet Laureate Runolfio Peeper wrote the following about Bullock:

Montgomery, third pitcher in our stable
Is notoriously difficult to label
They in every game of Blaseball reap a bounty
For it’s also known they moonlight as a county.

Their pitches rock the villains who receive them
With some spin upon the ball they do deceive them
The sinker pitch is always churning down
Like a stone dropped in a creek the batters drown
The sliders have no mercy in their grace
The hitters always give them heavy chase
The four seams gather burgeoning applause
And strike like wildcats showing their claws
The changeups drift just like a silver spring
The black hill curveballs make the batter swing

Above capital, their endurance does amaze
And our Bullock taxes everyone who plays.

Footnotes

  1. No two eyewitness accounts have given the same description
  2. Slogan of the Crustaceous Higher Institute of Blaseball Education