Mike Townsend/IF-21.615

From Blaseball Wiki
Rumor / Community Lore
This article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community. It is just one of many Rumors that we've found in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill. You can find more Rumors about Mike Townsend at their Rumor Registry.

INCIDENT REPORT

Reported By: █████████

Incident Date: STARDATE 0114-2███-██

Incident Type: CHEATING

Incident No. 567-C-312

Location: SPACE VEGAS™ CASINO FRANCHISE 42, Sagittarius Dwarf Spheroidal Galaxy

Specific Location: DIGI-POKER TABLE ROOM 03


Incident Description:

Parties 1 and 2 are described by witnesses as two human men in red and blue Blaseball uniforms, one of whom had “multiple more thumbs than is expected for a human” and the other of whom was “carrying around some sort of board with wheels on the bottom” and wearing glasses.

Parties 1 and 2 entered DIGI-POKER TABLE ROOM 03 and sat down at a table. Casino personnel became increasingly suspicious of Party 1 as he continued to win multiple rounds of poker despite having poor position at the table and, according to winners, “not looking like the type of entity who would be good at poker.” Casino personnel confronted Party 1 only to discover that a number of the cards in his hand were false and constructed from some sort of tangible shadow material.

Party 1 and Party 2 fled DIGI-POKER TABLE ROOM 03 immediately after Party 2 was approached by a bouncer to be scanned for psychic signatures. Party 2 broke an internal sliding glass door open with the aforementioned “board with wheels on it” and was seen using it to move at a heightened pace down a hallway. The two parties in question were later witnessed exiting the complex’s ship parking sector in some sort of custom-built mecha-vehicle with eight robotic legs.

The psychic signatures picked up from Party 2 were later analyzed and it was confirmed that Party 2 was also cheating using some sort of latent precognitive ability, which is explicitly against Rule 912 in the SPACE VEGAS™ CASINO Primer of Rules and Regulations.

Follow-Up Action: Signs with the visual appearance and energy signatures of Party 1 and Party 2 have been posted at all entrances to the FRANCHISE 42 complex indicating that they are not to be allowed onto the premises for any reason. Casino personnel agent 2D- ██████ has been dispatched to uncover further information about the incident.