Miguel Wheeler

From Blaseball Wiki

Miguel Wheeler was a lineup player for the Mexico City Wild Wings, and was with the team from the Return of Blaseball until being incinerated on Season 7, Day 107.

Official League Record

Wheeler joined the ILB as a lineup player for the Mexico City Wild Wings with the Return of Blaseball.

On Season 7, Day 47, some of Wheeler's hitting ability was siphoned by Sutton Picklestein.

During a Season 7, Day 105 playoffs game against the Seattle Garages, Wheeler was hit by a pitch thrown by Jaylen Hotdogfingers. Wheeler became Unstable, greatly increasing their chances of being incinerated.

On Season 7, Day 107, in a second round playoff game against the Seattle Garages, Wheeler was incinerated and replaced by Case Sports.

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The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.


Box of Miguel Wheeler Files

Dust billows as the file box lands on the table. While many archives in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill are unified in some way, this... definitely isn’t one of them. The accompanying Rumor Registry explains all of the contents... wherever it is... but for now you grab the folder labelled IF-46.680 and start reading...

Miguel Ángel Wheeler Cortés was a gay Mexican blaseball player, drag racer, and occasional video blogger. He was known for his unconventional style of drag racing and his daredevil attitude both on and off the field.

Wheeler was a competitive drag racer on the American and Mexican circuits, noted for his unique and dangerous style of racing- he exclusively rode his custom built motorcycle, and has gained notoriety as a result of video clips featuring him racing his bike against much larger vehicles being circulated on the Internet.

Along with auto work and racing, he was a skilled artist with an airbrush, and the local communities neighboring the Bucket are adorned with his work on both vehicles and buildings. Wheeler’s work also features in parts of his hometown of San Felipe- small pieces of his graffiti in various residential districts of the city are preserved, and the city commissioned Wheeler to paint a larger mural inside of San Felipe International Airport which remains to this day.

History

Wheeler was born and raised in San Felipe. From an early age, he developed a fascination with motor vehicles, with a special interest in motorcycles. As a teenager, he developed skill in working with vehicles by performing cheap repairs for friends, family, and the occasional out-of-town racer who was having vehicle issues.

Wheeler studied at COBACH College of Bachelors of Baja California. Shortly after he graduated, he began appearing in his first drag circuits, financing his travels by taking up short stints of work in various auto body shops across the continent.

It was during one of these periods of work that Wheeler would meet future teammate and partner Axel Cardenas, who was bringing in a crashed bike. Wheeler has discussed the meeting in detail in interviews and in blog posts. According to Wheeler, the two had been discussing a wrestling match that Cardenas had seen the night before when Wheeler, distracted, knocked over his airbrush gun, spraying them both in glittery red paint. Although both of them have described the incident with amusement, Wheeler has expressed regret over ruining the other man’s jacket.

The pair would go their separate ways, keeping in contact as friends up until The Return of Blaseball.

Joining The Wings

Wheeler joined the Wild Wings during the Return of Blaseball. Wheeler has stated that he considered Blaseball a secondary priority to his other interests, and as such performed relatively poorly due to a noted disinterest in the splort. Wheeler primarily utilized his athlete’s paycheck to fund his cross-country drag races, as the ILB on-season and his racing league occurred at opposite ends of the year.

During the first few seasons of Wheeler’s career, he developed somewhat of a controversial reputation. His lackadaisical attitude reflected in a relatively poor performance on the field, and following the opening of the forbidden book, Wheeler’s apathetic attitude would occasionally develop into outright defiance directed at fans, the press, and even umpires in the field. Off the field, this would primarily be reflected in his racing career- Wheeler would perform far more recklessly, demonstrating far more willingness to risk injury on the racetrack.

In this time, Wheeler’s teammates would recall him and Cardenas getting closer. Both Wheeler and Cardenas had a joint love for playing pranks both on and off the field, on teammates and opponents alike.

“They were sweet together, in a kind of gross sappy way,” One Cell Barajas would recall. “They’d sit after games and share drinks making what I can only assume to be love eyes at each other, then they’d go do stupid shit together- cheating at the claw machine, stuff like that.”

Season 7 and Incineration

Season 7 was a complicated time for the Mild Wings, who were dealing with the combined pressure of a still unresolved lawsuit and their rise to playoff contention as well as the league-wide stressor of Jaylen Hotdogfingers’ necromancy.

During this time, little information could be obtained about the activities of many individual members of the team, and Wheeler was no exception. The majority of his public activity during this time would be recorded through his own personal video posts and the few impromptu races that were publicized.

What could be gathered from the season was Wheeler’s more daring physical stunts would only increase in intensity. Due to eyes being on the team with the ongoing lawsuit and their rise to playoff contention, photojournalists would capture select photos of Cardenas helping a heavily bruised and road rash-covered Wheeler to their hotel room following a game with the Chicago Firefighters.

In the days leading up to the team’s playoff appearance and the game that would see five players, including Wheeler, hit by Hotdogfingers’ debted pitches, Wild Wings legal would ask for reprise from the press’ inquiries.

During games in Seattle during this series, Wheeler would insist on riding his bike at all times, claiming that “If [The Garages] call their stadium a ‘Big Garage’, they’re basically asking you to drive in it, right?” Although this would have no notable effect on his performance for the most part, when Wheeler was incinerated he would make one final run for first base, outrunning the umps long enough to gain the momentum to make it on base before the ignited bike exploded. This single would leave a scorched pattern of tire tracks along the first-base pathway in the Big Garage, one that, despite numerous attempts by stadium groundskeepers, could not be physically removed.

Despite what appeared to be a major scene in the dugout as this occurred, to this day Axel Cardenas has refused to comment publicly on Wheeler’s incineration.

Trivia:

  • Wheeler has stated that his racing motorbike was his most prized possession, and that he had painted and retrofitted the bike for racing purposes with his own two hands.
  • As payment for ruining Cardenas’s jacket when they first met, Wheeler would purchase a replacement, replicating the design of the original as best as he could with his own airbrushes.
  • Wheeler owned and cared for several pet rats, several of which featured in public interviews or his own personal vlog posts. Wheeler claims that the rats are more popular with his fanbase than he is, a rumor which is unconfirmed.
    • There exist multiple fan accounts on various social medias dedicated entirely to Miguel’s rats.
  • It is rumored that Wheeler was responsible for the original designs of the Wild Wings’ jerseys, including their less practical playoff variant. Allegedly, when designing the latter, Wheeler joked that “…it won’t see play anyways, what’s the harm in adding a few spikes to the thing?”


Fan Works