Lorcan Smaht/IF-95.923
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This wiki entry contains the following: Murder.
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History
Lorcan Smaht was born, alongside eir “twin sibling” Trinity Smaht, approximately at the time of death of REDACTED Smaht. Described in the coroner’s report as being mid-thirties, six feet tall, and missing a left ring finger, REDACTED was found in the Jones Falls River with a single stab wound to the stomach. The murder or murderers involved were never identified, though Lorcan has professed to tabloid reporters to “looking into the case every few years, just out of [eir] own curiosity”.
Perhaps due to a convergence of ley lines at the scene of the crime, the timely interference of a Bay Witch, or simply good fortune, REDACTED was resurrected - in a manner of speaking - precisely two hours after the noted time of death. Extremely distressed Maryland Health Department medical examiners reported that the deceased had, in fact, split into two identical entities: a walking, talking corpse, and the visible, intangible spirit of that same corpse. These identical entities also reportedly began fighting almost immediately, asked to be left alone in a room together, and emerged three hours later with the request to be called, respectively, Lorcan and Trinity Smaht.
This would be the only recorded instance for the next five years of Lorcan and Trinity in the same room at the same time. It is unknown what was discussed during those three hours they spent together, but speculated that an agreement was made to attempt to live separate, independent lives as individuals, rather than act together as two halves of the deceased REDACTED.
Lorcan would return to living in Baltimore, splitting REDACTED’s assets with Trinity and finding eir own apartment and employment in Federal Hill. Ey could often be found tending bar and watching splorts with regulars at Magerks Pub and Grill.
Joining the Shadows
During the fourteenth season of Internet League Blaseball, inspired by the Baltimore Crabs’s recent return to the city of Baltimore and fourth championship win, Lorcan signed up for the team’s shadows roster. This news caught the attention of Trinity Smaht, who unbeknownst to Lorcan, began making aer way back to Baltimore out of curiosity towards the team. Lorcan also developed photosensitivity as a result of joining the shadows, and began wearing tinted prescription glasses to offset the effect day-to-day.
During eir time in the shadows, Lorcan became particularly close with a recently resurrected York Silk, and was often seen chatting with Silk about the costs and benefits of being legally dead. Ey also reportedly sold eir last remaining asset belonging to REDACTED Smaht, a pawn shop in Baltimore City, to Crabs co-captain Forrest Best prior to its Redaction in Season 15.
While ey was in the shadows, Lorcan also came to befriend Enid Marlow, a trade from Ohio and another recent transplant to the shadow roster. The two are close friends and confidantes to this day, and often conspire on matters of black magic and the occult. Enid has professed several times to wanting to “study” Lorcan, a prospect that Lorcan seems largely enthusiastic about.
Joining the Rotation
After seeing eir “twin” Trinity join the Crabs lineup in Season 17, Lorcan became eager to join aer and prove eir competence at playing blaseball as well. The twins have been reported as having a competitive attitude towards one another, despite having barely seen one another for five years prior to their time on the Baltimore Crabs. When Parker Parra finally gave up 10 runs, Lorcan took advantage of the Crabitat’s new fax machine and claimed a place on the pitching rotation. Ey proceeded to party extensively in the back half of the season in celebration of finally leaving the shadows.
Despite the fact that Lorcan throws pitches “like ey’s playing one of those bartending video games where you have to slide the drinks down the counter”, ey appears to fit in well with the Crabs roster. Logan Horseman was a vocal fan of Lorcan’s partying and bartending styles, and the two could often be found out on the town together during Logan’s season with the Crabs. Alston Cerveza, as well, took quickly to Lorcan, proclaiming a friendship between a bartender and a heir to a brewing company to be an “obvious natural fit”. The two have gone on many zany adventures together - though many on the team are skeptical of how many of these adventures actually took place, pointing out that it seems unlikely the two of them went to space in the off-season and came back just in time for Adalberto Tosser’s postseason brunch.
Ups and Downs
In Season 20, Lorcan performed eir first Undertaking - following teammate Avila Guzman into Elsewhere. As one of the few members of the Crabs who does not actively need to breathe, Lorcan found emself especially suited to the task of diving into the flood after eir teammates. Ey has admitted to reporters that Undertaking helped them feel a sense of purpose and community within the team after Trinity Smaht left to join the Mexico City Wild Wings, and that ey enjoys exploring Elsewhere.
In Season 21, Lorcan once again dove into Elsewhere after eir close friend Enid Marlow, and stayed there for nearly 80 days. Marlow was observed to be notably more irritable than usual during this time, and admitted to being “extremely relieved - but don’t tell anyone that” when Lorcan reappeared. Ey celebrated eir return to the team by pitching a shutout in eir only postseason game, and winning eir first ever Internet Series Championship with the Crabs.
It war only during the off-season that Lorcan learned Trinity Smaht had been attacked by consumers in Mexico City, and rushed to visit aer. The two spent their brief time together catching up and finally getting to know each other after seasons of attempting to ignore each other while playing on the same team. Lorcan has stated in interviews since then that eir relationship with Trinity is much repaired, and that the two talk regularly.
Alternation
After the season 22 elections, Lorcan Smaht was Alternated. It was difficult at first to tell if there were changes beyond eir pitching abilities, but Enid Marlow soon clocked the difference and revealed it to the rest of the team - this Lorcan was capable of carcinization. Ey had developed chitinous plates down eir spine, and now bled the blue blood of a horseshoe crab, as opposed to the corpse-like lack of blood the team was used to.
The Crabs celebrated this change with an excessive party, much in the way Lorcan had partied to celebrate finally finding a place on the pitching rotation. Lorcan later professed to Marlow that ey suspects the Olde One herself of resurrecting em in eir universe, but ey was never able to properly investigate the mystery.
Into the Horizon
In the early days of the Expansion Era, it had been the Reader who had first made Lorcan an Undertaker, and told the League to “Trust Me”. And Lorcan had - diving in and flipping eir team Negative to keep them above water. It was the Reader who had introduced a new way to “Negative Alternate” players, and when it made the Crabs worse in Season 22, Lorcan continued to trust. It was the Reader who flipped the League in Season 24, causing a phenomenon on the lightest teams where the leadoff hitters were targeted most by Consumers. Sure enough, thanks to Lorcan, the Crabs were among those teams. Herring Winfield, a player Lorcan had flipped emself, was Redacted by Consumers.
When confessing to the guilt and anger that eir purpose as an Undertaker had led to suffering, Lorcan was comforted not only by eir close friend Marlow, but by Avila Guzman, another player ey had flipped Negative. Guzman reminded Lorcan that choosing to trust someone was not a bad thing, even if they turned out not to have eir best interests at heart. Lorcan was encouraged by this sentiment, and enlisted Guzman and Marlow in an off-season project to finally track down the perpetrators of the murder that created em, calling it an opportunity for bonding and adventure. Ey may not have been able to trust the gods, but ey could always trust eir team.
