List of Vending Machines at The Big Garage

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COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

The Hotdogfingers Memorial Climate Pledge Garage and Parking Facility is home to a large number of coin operated vending machines. These machines sell a wide variety of items such as fan art, Tlopps™ cards, thumbdrives, commemorative pins and patches, joints, and cassettes featuring local bands. In addition, merchandise for every player of the Seattle Garages, both past and present, is featured in their own set of themed vending machines. It is unclear how they remain stocked or who installs them.

Recently, there has been an effort to compile a complete list of the vending machines and their offerings. This task has proved itself to be difficult for volunteers due to the pathfinding skills and acrobatics needed to locate out of the way machines. One contributor to this effort, the Lil' Roadies' own Urban Exploration Vlogger Kenneth Midcentury, is quoted as saying "These loot boxes make terrible content for my vids, all I get is random garbage. You would be way better off with this week's sponsor, GlamerCrate." Kenneth was unable to be reached for further comment, as he was swiftly drop kicked by an unseen assailant for being disrespectful. Other hallway spelunkers have been more successful and will proudly exhibit the rare memorabilia they have discovered when asked.

The vending machines which have currently been catalogued are listed below.

Player Themed Machines

Player Location Appearance Contents
Arturo Huerta Well hidden. Customers are unable to describe any distinguishing features. Machines are completely empty and dispense nothing, but most customers report a feeling of satisfaction after the exchange.
Bennett Browning Near the entrances to the outfield stands. An arcade style claw machine. Full of little plush toys (mostly bears) and doesn’t seem to be rigged.
Farrell Seagull Underneath the nearest mural. The vending machines are completely painted over with original artwork, incidentally making it impossible to see what they are dispensing. The continually shifting inventory has been described as “eclectic”, including items such as commemorative mugs, hand-altered Blaseball cards, Polaroid photos of Seattle street scenes, and autographed self-portrait sketches of Seagull taped to half-empty spray cans of gum remover.
Magi Ruiz Next to the sound booth entrance. Magi’s machine looks different every week — after some experiments with the Sharp Gravity Holey Glove, it started to hover on an anti-gravity pad. It’s more of a miniature pharmacy than anything. Unless you’re trying to eat a whole jar of gummy vitamins, there’s not many traditional snacks. (Malik is no longer allowed to buy the gummy vitamins.)