Official League Records
During the Season β20 elections, Tumblehome's star ratings were completely randomized as a result of the Shots in the Dark blessing, resulting in Tumblehome becoming an Alternate, gaining the Negative modification, and a combined 8.0 → 8.1 stat increase.
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
Box of Jon Tumblehome Files
- Dust billows as the file box lands on the table. While many archives in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill are unified in some way, this... definitely isn’t one of them. The accompanying Rumor Registry explains all of the contents... wherever it is... but for now you grab the folder labelled IF-93.200 and start reading...
Jon Tumblehome (stylized as JON Tumblehome) was originally an early attempt by surface dweller scientists at creating a deep sea exploration and research robot. Due to this type of technology being very new, JON was extremely flawed and lost connection with the surface, causing the project to be quickly shut down and deemed unsuccessful. JON was never retrieved by the surface dwellers, left to become one with the seafloor.
However, unlike the scientists on the surface, Atlantis is not known to abandon or forget. The City took in JON’s decommissioned hull and relocated it right where the Georgias’ future Blaseball stadium, The Atlantean Dome, would eventually be built. Atlantis knew that when the time was right, one of its beloved Atlanteans would find JON and grow to love JON.
Discovery & New Beginnings
During the construction of The Bubble, Atlantean archivist and Blaseball player Hercules Alighieri went to the site of the planted flag to document the momentous occasion. While he was there, Alighieri noticed a strange hill in the seafloor; he proceeded to take a photograph of the hill (as he was nothing if not overly thorough). Something about that moment briefly powered up the long-abandoned JON, just long enough to shake the sediment off of JON’s hull. Alighieri was fascinated, proceeding to take approximately 59 photos of JON before bringing JON back to the AFISH laboratories to investigate.
After a not-insignificant amount of time reading robotics books in the AFISH library and writing robot-themed poetry, Alighieri requested the help of the rest of the team to begin repairing JON, to which they gladly obliged knowing this might be the only time Alighieri delves into the non-archival sciences.
Due to a lack of funding and the extremely sorry state JON was in to begin with, the repair efforts were seemingly never-ending. Alighieri and the rest of AFISH were persistent nevertheless and eventually created their best AI work to date for JON, at the expense of replacing much of JON’s exterior hull. Though the finished product looked rather unprofessional from the outside, Alighieri was tremendously proud of the team's results. His last journal entry on JON’s progress reads:
"Working on JON has been more fulfilling than I could have ever hoped. I had never expected to dedicate such a long period of my life to something other than the archival arts and playing Blaseball, but I am delighted at what it has brought me. While JON is not much to look at, both mine and the team’s whole heart went into repairing JON. I am forever grateful to Atlantis for guiding me to this point, for the project gave me the space to bond with the friends I know and grow to understand the work they accomplish here. And if all goes well, I will have come out of this with a new friend as well. All that is left is to insert JON’s coral computer core and to attempt to power JON up. I have no doubts that the love this team has put into my project with me will give JON the energy needed to function. Metaphorically speaking, of course, as JON is powered by drawing dissolved oxygen from the surrounding sea water. Though, as I am writing this, I have realized that there may have been a step I forgot. See, when I found JON, JON’s hull was engraved with an identification name: J…… Oceanic Navigator. This is how I came to call JON as I do. However, whatever the 'J' originally stood for was already long faded away when I found JON; I suppose I need to decide what it stands for now. Perhaps JON's or Jumanji™️? I shall consult the team on this matter after testing JON and record the decision, along with JON’s test performance, in my next entry. Until then. — H.A."
The team at AFISH prepared for the official launch of JON as if it were to be a celebration, however despite the build-up JON ultimately would not power up. No matter what the team did, JON was perfect and still would refuse to function properly. This result was extremely disheartening to Alighieri, and many of his teammates and fans noticed a significant change in his demeanor. Though the rest of the AFISH team gave up on JON, Alighieri transferred JON into his personal office to care for and attempt to repair JON all on his own, to ultimately no avail. He appeared to just be going through the motions at times, but he sunk himself into trying to fix JON more than ever before; even abandoning his progress journal, focusing all energy on the physical work JON needed. Teammates even reported hearing him recite sad, yet extremely loving poetry to JON; whether this was done in an attempt to elicit an emotional response in JON to bring JON to life or just for Alighieri’s own therapeutic benefit is unknown.
Eventually, Hercules Alighieri was incinerated on Season β17, Day 54. Coincidentally, or perhaps not so coincidentally, JON finally powered up for the first time at the exact moment of Alighieri’s demise. JON rushed to the field to replace him, as if JON was programmed to do so. Though extremely surprised, the Georgias welcomed JON with open arms to the team. Fellow teammate and trusted friend of Alighieri, Ortiz Lopez, stated in an interview not long after Alighieri’s incineration,
"I miss Herc everyday, we were besties and he made Atlantis seem more like home to me! But I’ll tell ya, I see him more and more every day in that little robot he built, JON. It’s almost like Herc’s love itself in his… last moments… made JON power up. IDK about the sciencey side of that, but I LOVE love, so I try to, y’know, make JON feel at home here. I think Herc would’ve wanted that. XOXO"
JON Tumblehome, supposedly short for Justice Oceanic Navigator Tumblehome, is an advanced AI housed within a coral and filtered-oxygen powered deep sea exploration robot. After the refurbishment and repairs done by Hercules Alighieri and the rest of the AFISH team, JON is now an extremely versatile droid with many features JON can use to assist the team. A now-erased collaborative list planning these features was found on one of the AFISH whiteboards:
- LED screen that simulates feelings with cute emoticons :3
- Precisely calibrated compass and GPS system.
- wheels and rocket propulsion to cross any terrain nyooom
- extensive language translation database
- at LEAST
24 USB ports
- CD player (you still use CDs for music?? what are you, OLD???) (It’s for archival purposes, Mint… but yes I do.)
- cameras/microphones for research documentation, duh
- Extendable appendages for secure sample collection.
- LiDAR capabilities for mapping the ocean floor
- Blaseball-skill drives (Flattery, it’s a research robot, I doubt it’ll be on the field.) (Better safe than sorry!)
a new exterior! new paint, new labels, etc!nvm we ran out of money lol
Although JON is highly advanced and equipped with a plethora of technology, at first glance pre-Alternation JON looked like a very outdated piece of tech. JON's exterior hull wasn't initially replaced due to AFISH spending all allocated funds for the project on excessive and unnecessary features before remembering the hull might have actually been a higher priority. As a result, JON was very cobbled together with different rusted and barnacle-covered metals. In an attempt to make sure JON didn't feel bad about JON's appearance, the rest of the Georgias regularly added fun stickers onto JON, to JON's delight. However, three seasons after JON's arrival to the team, the remaining members of AFISH spent the offseason finally upgrading JON’s exterior. This included replacing the rusted metal, giving JON a new coat of paint, and tweaking the internal drives. JON stated that JON felt “lighter and freer than ever” with JON's new upgrades, so much lighter apparently that ILB assumed JON had been Alternated and flipped Negative.
JON has been described by much of the team as taking heavily after JON's creator, Hercules Alighieri's, personality despite never technically meeting him. JON is incredibly intelligent and thorough when it comes to oceanic research and data collection, having a great passion for JON's programmed purpose. Those meeting JON for the first time are usually met with an awkwardly long slides presentation on JON's most recent discoveries. JON is also considered a ‘gentle giant’ type by many of JON's teammates, being an unexpectedly comforting and kind presence to be around even with how rigid JON's AI makes JON speak.
However, despite the enthusiasm and love for JON's exhibits, those around JON find that JON is deeply contemplative and melancholic for a robot. Often JON is spotted alone in the dugout, seemingly lost in thought reminiscing on something JON never truly had. Many Georgias who worked on repairing JON with AFISH have theorized that this side of JON has to do with the loss of Alighieri, but JON has not commented on this and in fact avoids this topic whenever possible.
JON is not good at Blaseball, as Flattery McKinley invented and installed the BSDs (Blaseball-Skill Drives) herself. JON was sent to the Shadows quite literally as soon as possible because of this. This was a net positive for both the team as a whole and JON, as JON enjoys JON's time at the AFISH Shadow Research Base much more than JON's time on the field. While in the Shadows, JON's advanced navigational systems were an instrumental part of getting the Georgias to the Vault in Season β24, along with recently-returned teammate and expert explorer Neerie McCloud.
- Contrary to JON's name, by technical definitions, JON does not have any tumblehome, as JON does not have a hull which grows narrower above the waterline than its beam. JON is not even, by technical definitions, a boat.
- JON takes great pride in caring for the Alighieri Memorial Coral Garden and has given names to each individual coral, so they all know JON cares. The coral computer core that powers JON is named John. It gets confusing.
- JON is surprisingly good at DDR, Dlance Dlance Revolution. For some reason.
- JON is good friends with Boston Flowers player, and fellow research robot, Cory Twelve. They are often seen swapping their latest findings with one another, leading JON to have a sizable collection of rocks from the surface.
- While in the shadows, someone installed a busted Vocaloid voice drive in JON without JON knowing. JON attempted to uninstall it on JON's own, but wasn't able to fully remove it. JON will still occasionally slip into off key singing while JON speaks.
Jon Tumblehome giving a thumbs up by @wayslidecool
Limb Ball Jon by @tiny_revel
JON Tumblehome waving by @VoxiSour