Jessica Telephone/IF-3280.0

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Rumor / Community Lore
This article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community. It is just one of many Rumors that we've found in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill. You can find more Rumors about Jessica Telephone at their Rumor Registry.

J’essica Telemetry, Bug Wrangler

J’essica Telemetry is a grizzled and scarred instance of Jessica Telephone hailing from the year 3280, having travelled to our current time to hunt what she repeatedly refers to as “The Supersentient Insect, York Silk”.

Her demeanor has been described as often surly, and frequently gruff, and she is noted for carrying at least four weapons at all times (bladed, plasma, or otherwise). Extensive cybernetics are integrated with her body, and she is commonly seen scanning, entering and collecting data related to her target in a way previously described as “suspicious and concerning”. Despite this, J’essica has participated in the splort of Blaseball at least once, though her reasons for doing so are unclear.

The Supersentient Insect, York Silk

Despite her unfriendly nature, J’essica is seemingly very open about her target in our world, “The Supersentient Insect, York Silk”. Described as a “just absolutely massive bug”, Silk is described as having a “hypermalevolant criminal record” and a “fully subspaced intellect, I’m talking like whole galaxies here”. Despite such noteworthy characteristics, Silk is purportedly incredibly hard to track down; J’essica suggested Silk may be “doing some body double stuff, I dunno, just absolutely wicked tricky stuff” and that she would “have to get sneaky" herself to find them. J’essica’s history with the Supersentient Insect, York Silk, appears to be somewhat of a sore subject for her: when asked about it she simply pulled out a cigar, took a bite from it, and said “Damn, sure is” whilst looking into the distance.