IF-121.90

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COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

IF-121.90 is a timeline that may exist in the Blaseball multiverse. With the creation of the Interdimensional Rumor Mill, fans and historians started archiving rumors and histories using the term "IF-121.90" to describe what they believe to be a particular universe. It is currently unknown whether these suspicions are correct. The following documents may describe a cohesive continuity or a random sampling classified together by Blaseball bureaucrats.


Rumors

IF-121.90 has 5 Rumors written so far.

Pedro Davids/IF-121.90

In Literature

Crabs Poet Laureate Runolfio Peeper wrote the following about Davids:

Pedro much enjoyed his PhD
So all his peers were quite surprised to see
That he descended from the ivory tower
And swore himself unto a deeper power.

When asked about this sudden daring choice
Pedro replied, “In Crabs I do rejoice!
I seek to marry knowledge from my studies
Into communion with my ten-legged buddies.”

Now, on the field Davids is the man
Whose back is tied unto his caravan.
So in the Crabitat or Astrolome
On any blaseball field, Pedro’s home.

Combs Duende/IF-121.90

In Literature

Runolfio Peeper's award-winning "70 More Blaseball Sonnets" contained the following about Duende's love for the Navy Seals copypasta:

Our Combs Duende swings a mighty hair
It’s earned them o’er three hundred confirmed hits
So much, they’ll many times be heard to swear
“I’m trained in unarmed combat, little shits!”

They’ve killed the ball in seven hundred ways
Precision never seen before on Earth
And all who’ve battled Combs admit it pays
To really know a clever comment’s worth.

For Combs is merely average most the time
They hear an insult, then their words you’ll mark
A storm will meet the maggot’s verbal crime
Bare hands will hit the ball out of the park.

Be careful ‘ere you give Combs any sass
They graduated tops in blaseball class.

Valentine Games/IF-121.90

In Literature

Valentine Games is the subject of a poem by Crabs Poet Laureate Runolfio Peeper:

The gifts the Gods provide are hard to parse
Depending on the God, it’s all a farce
Like Gods who blessed the Lovers and the Pies
And caused thousands of Crabs to curse the skies

The Olde One also works in cryptic ways
But Their actions warrant nothing but our praise
Take Valentine Games—they’re neither saint nor sinner
Yet earned a hallowed flying peanut dinner

Valentine was lingering in the field
Awaiting hits the other team might yield
He squinted and adjusted the bright red
Yarmulke attached upon his head

He spotted peanuts raining from the sky
And afterwards he could not tell you why
But in his mind he saw a clicking claw
So carefully he opened up his jaw

The taste of peanut was a bit complex
And nervously he pondered the effects
But soon a warmth enveloped him throughout
A ball flew through the air, he caught it out

For others, peanuts seemed to be a curse
But Valentine was given the reverse
For when he ate the peanut he became
An even greater lover of the game.

Kennedy Loser/IF-121.90

In Literature

Crabs poet Laureate Runolfio Peeper wrote the following poem about Loser's most famous game:

The score was tied, and the time was dire
When Kennedy Loser grabbed his bat.
We shouted his name, a chaotic choir,
As he rose from the dugout and doffed his hat,
He took a step, tripped, and fell down flat.
And at this sign, we all sighed and knew
This game might never end, and also that
This man was a loser, through and through.

The inning was twenty, the hour ticking down,
And Kennedy wiped his hands on his pants.
He minced to the plate, his face in a frown,
He tested his swing and his feet did a dance.
He stared at the pitcher, awaiting his chance,
Then, just incredible! He tumbled to!
He had fallen again, and lay there askance.
This man was a loser, through and through

There were two outs, and a man on first base,
As Kennedy pushed himself to his feet.
Our hopes were dismal as he took his place,
And everyone said he looked slightly beat.
He stood like a stone; felt the first fastball’s heat,
“Strike one!” We all heard. And then a “Strike two!”
He looked gone and lost, like he couldn’t compete;
This man was a loser, through and through.

A double spillover? We looked at the clock.
Kennedy readjusted, tense but unbowed,
And met the next pitch with a titanic knock.
The ball raced away, disappeared in a cloud,
And Kennedy turned and spoke to the crowd
“Ask not what Mother Crab can do for you!”
Then he rounded the bases, beaming and proud.
This Loser a winner, through and through.

Parker Parra/IF-121.90

History

Parra claims to be a three-dimensional projection of a higher-dimensional entity. Despite their apparent potential to be a star batter, their performance compared to the rest of the league has led to speculation that the entity cares little for Blaseball.

They have only been observed once out of their Blaseball uniform by a fan seeking an autograph--an event informally known as "The Casualwear Tragedy." The unfortunate fan was made dimensionally unstable, flitting between multiple versions of themselves including versions that mutter strange prophesies from other universes and at least one version that is a 20 foot tall two-dimensional monster intent on eating the other fans. In response to this incident, Parra was quoted as saying, "It was a shame it had to happen, but it did have to happen." As compensation, the fan was given season tickets behind the Crabs' dugout at the Crabitat. Sitting in a special dimensionally-sealed section for his, and others' protection, Wanderin' Dave is now a fixture at Crabs home games.

Parra is fascinated with crafts and art, especially origami, and as a result holds a deep admiration for them. They have mostly made origami crabs, but have branched out into making other animals as well. Among the confirmed animals crafted by them are a swan to "appease the overwhelming number of birds", and a tiger made in memory of Landry Violence.

Interest in Mathematics

Parker is a frequent and well respected guest at the annual conference of Dimensional Mathematics, alongside teammates Sutton Dreamy and Brock Forbes. While they often simply attend as a guest, there have been several panels that have been hijacked by what academics have called "innovative and driven Q&A" with Parker. After several recurrences of this issue, Parker was granted the opportunity to speak at their own session that they entitled "how to fold a paper crane." This was one of the most widely attended sessions that year, though not a single attendee has been able to comment on what was taught other than Sutton, who said it was "nice, but [she] wish[es] Parker had done a little crab instead."

Ascension

After winning three championships with the Baltimore Crabs, Parker Parra ascended to the big leagues alongside the rest of the team. Coming back with a flinch however, their already middling batting meant they could rarely get on base. When the opportunity arose they were traded to the Boston Flowers for the Crab’s old star hitter, Nagomi Mcdaniel.

On the Boston Flowers

Parker Parra spent a single season pitching for the Boston Flowers before being traded back to the Crabs for their star pitcher Brock Forbes.

Return to the Crabs - Lessons Learned

After their season away in Boston Parra returned to the Crabs in good spirits, and despite their abysmal pitching, enjoyed reuniting with their team in Baltimore.

When Parker Parra began their pitching career on the Flowers it was an impressive exercise in just how poorly one player could pitch, managing a perfect 0-20 season before being sent back to the Crabs where they did manage to win a trickle of games. None of this really bothered Parra however, as they discovered that pitching was just a whole lot of fun, spending a majority of their time on the mound declaring a “trick shot” and then tossing the ball in the general direction of the plate. Parker Meng in particular was often at the heart of these many trick shots as Parra was delighted about their shared names and opposing skill sets. Parra was on record for trying to pitch at least one game completely blindfolded, just to see if they could.

With the introduction of the Fax machine Parra’s trip to the Crab’s shadows was inevitable, and soon enough they were cheering the team on, meeting new people, and leading practices. While some of the newer pitchers were more skeptical about Parra leading a pitching practice, Finn James in particular loved the sessions, credits Parra with helping her get over the stress filled moments of letting a runner on base, and how to keep cool and just having fun under pressure. Meanwhile players like Axel Campbell described Parra’s pitching advice to be “probably made up” and “distressingly close to how Finn tries to teach people to pitch”.

In Literature

Parker Parra is subject of a poem by Crabs Poet Laureate Runolfio Peeper called "Wanderin' Dave":

Queen Circe was a mighty witch
And sirens wrecked many a ship,
But none of these are dangerous,
Like Parker Parra when they strip.

I speak, of course, of Wanderin' Dave:
An accidental tragic day,
He spotted Parker, dressed in jeans,
Reality then went astray.

So Dave was given honored seats
And kept from eating fans abreast,
He prophesizes every game
And watches Parra—always dressed.