From Blaseball Wiki

Photosynthetics is a known branch of HELIOLATRY, the de facto religion of Hellmouth.


Photosynthetics is a relatively new sect of HELIOLATRY, and as such little is known about it, but it has grown rather rapidly among people who, in their own words, "just really like plants." The HELIOLATRY branch of Photosynthetics was said to have formed accidentally by Sunbeams player Eugenia Bickle, as a result of one of her garden parties hosted for her teammates and their fans. Queries on what sort of garden party gets mistaken for a cult meeting have remained unanswered, and Bickle declined to comment on the matter.


As can be deduced from its name, Photosynthetics is characterized by its worship of plants alongside the Sun, with the view that photosynthesis is the ultimate form of worship. As one member put it, "I mean, we're all trying to become more like the Sun, right? And photosynthesis is literally absorbing the Sun. I mean, you just don't get more sun than that." One common form of worship is to stand topless in the desert for hours soaking up the life-giving rays of the sun. This has resulted in many cases of severe sunburn, from which cultists conclude they have been "chosen".

Activities in Hellmouth

After contact with some Boston residents, many Photosynthetics have begun working in the Hellmouth Beautification Society experimental greenhouse. Their stated goal is to bring beautiful plants to the Hellmouth. The most ambitious project the Society has undertaken to date is bringing Giant Sundews to the desert. The Photosynthetic's defense of "come on, they're literally named after the Sun!" is strong, but doesn't quite make up for the numerous animals the massive carnivorous plants have since eaten.

Hellmouth Sunbeams pitcher Zack Sanders' is of particular interest to pre-Adapted members of the Photosynthetics, due to her transformation early in observable Blaseball into a were-sunflower.