Official League Records
In the Season β13 elections, Flattery McKinley's stats were randomized as a result of the Georgias' Alternate will. This resulted in a 7.6 → 11.4 stat increase, improving every stat except pitching, which saw a 1.7 → 1.1 decrease.
On Season β19, Day 10, McKinley was in a game with Peanut weather by Miami Dale lineup player Francisca Sasquatch. On Season β19, Day 63, McKinley was freed from their shell by birds. On Season β19, Day 76, McKinley was cured of their Superallergy by the Peanut Mister at the Tokyo Fitness Center.
In Season β22, McKinley would pick up and shortly afterwards put down The Fifth Base on three separate instances, once on Day 31, and twice on Day 45. However, they were never holding The Fifth Base at the end of the week, and as a result remained on the Atlantis Georgias.
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
Box of Flattery McKinley Files
- Dust billows as the file box lands on the table. While many archives in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill are unified in some way, this... definitely isn’t one of them. The accompanying Rumor Registry explains all of the contents... wherever it is... but for now you grab the folder labelled IF-3.303 and start reading...
Flattery McKinley (they/she) is a terrestrial biologist from a deep sea region of Atlantis. They can be recognized by the faint glow of their skin, their asymmetric limbs, and their hair, which appears to be an octopus, though whether it's part of them or a symbiotic organism is something even they don't know. McKinley can additionally be recognized for their eccentric fashion sense, regularly wearing floral-pattern button-up shirts, cargo shorts, socks and sandals, and a lab coat that they refuse to take off.
Flattery McKinley is autistic, and has had a special interest in terrestrial biology from a young age. For years, they have studied the topic extensively, becoming a leading expert on the subject in Atlantean society. While McKinley can seem bitter and standoffish at a glance, they are passionate about their interests, and are willing to talk about terrestrial biology for hours on end if given the chance. McKinley is a lesbian, and is married to fellow biologist Niq Nyong'o, with the two frequently assisting one another in research.
Flattery McKinley is additionally a player for the Atlantis Georgias, having signed onto the team primarily for the opportunity to do field research during away games, but also to engage with the interests of her wife. While McKinley initially was the team's worst pitcher, after a swap for an Alternate and a move to batting, McKinley has become a core member of the Georgias' offense.
Relationship with Niq Nyong'o
Flattery McKinley and Niq Nyong'o met in the year XXXX, when Nyong'o was left stranded at sea during an expedition of the South Sandwich Islands. Nyong'o was taken to Atlantis to heal, and met McKinley in the hospital, who had recently suffered from a Tragic Bear Incident. The two quickly bonded over their shared interest in biology, and exchanged common knowledge from their respective worlds with one another. Nyong'o introduced McKinley to land animals such as cows, squirrels, and ██████, while McKinley introduced Nyong'o to well-known deep sea organisms such as █████████, ██████, and ███ ███████.
The two would regularly check in on one another while healing, and remained close friends even after checking out of the hospital. Nyong'o remained in Atlantis due to its proximity to the ocean, making studying marine biology much more convenient for her. Nyong'o and McKinley quickly began working together as research partners, though they developed a close casual relationship as well, with McKinley helping Nyong'o adjust to life in Atlantis.
With time, the two eventually fell in love, and moved together into a submarine that they use for research, but have heavily decorated to make it feel like home. McKinley and Nyong'o have become well known for both their research and relationship, and have been dubbed by numerous publications as Atlantis's Top Academic Lesbian Power Couple, a title they both wear with pride. After many years of dating, the two would eventually get married, with their relationship holding strong to this day.
McKinley and Nyong'o are now both in their 40s, and have been married for roughly five years, an amount of time which appears to be unchanging, as the two have been observed celebrating their fifth anniversary on seemingly random days of each season. Any attempts to pinpoint exactly when they were originally married is futile, with the date being washed away to the sea like much else in Atlantis.
When Niq Nyong'o signed on to play for the Atlantis Georgias, she encouraged McKinley to join her. While McKinley was initially hesitant, they ultimately agreed, excited by the prospect of doing field research during away games on the surface. McKinley, however, still considered themself a researcher first and a Blaseball player second, and signed on as a pitcher to play fewer games. That being said, even when not pitching, McKinley would usually tag along during away games for an opportunity to study the local wildlife. McKinley particularly enjoys visits to Yellowstone and Ohio, but expresses a level of distaste for snails being considered a type of worm.
However, prioritizing research ultimately hurt their performance, as they would rarely spend time practicing in favor of advancing their studies. Additionally, they were insistent on pitching with their left hand, despite their left arm being a tentacle that struggles to let go of the ball. McKinley would claim that since they are left-handed, they knew perfectly well what they were doing, despite consistently performing the worst of the team's pitchers.
Despite their performance, however, McKinley was still a valuable part of the team's dynamic, being an important member of the research team headed by Niq Nyong'o to study the Blaseball gods. This research proved instrumental to the Georgias' success, as the information gathered allowed the Georgias to improve their performance, win three championships, and Ascend prior to the Return of Blaseball. Even upon the team's Descension, McKinley remains part of the research team dedicated to learn what happened while they were gone.
Despite being an instrumental member of the Georgias' research team, however, this did not stop the fans from voting to swap McKinley with an alternate version of herself in the Season β13 elections. The team was initially shocked by this decision, especially Niq Nyong'o, but fortunately the alternate version of McKinley had incredibly few notable differences from the original. Most notably, this version of McKinley always introduces herself with a middle initial to sound more formal (Flattery B. McKinley), and additionally is more passionate about Blaseball, considering it roughly equal with her passion for research.
This version of McKinley was a respectable batter in her former reality rather than a pitcher, nicknamed "Battery McKinley" by fans. Because of this, McKinley was distraught to hear her contract had her as part of the team's rotation, as she had little pitching experience and struggled with the same left-handed problems as her prime counterpart. As a result of this, McKinley decided to go on strike in the subsequent seasons, a decision supported by her wife, Niq Nyong'o, and team strategist, Rigby Friedrich. McKinley would often show up to games in batting stance, while pitching with their octopus hair. As a result of this, they would frequently struggle to hit the strike zone, walking far more batters than the average pitcher.
In Season β14, Flattery B. McKinley was motivated not just to be a bad pitcher, but the worst pitcher, simply to drive their point home. However, they were met with competition from Charleston Shoe Thieves pitcher Simba Davis, and the two quickly developed a rivalry, hoping to earn the highest ERA rating in the history of the splort. Upon noticing Davis' lead, McKinley pitched a 25-1 game against the Hades Tigers in hopes to get ahead. However, McKinley ultimately fell short, with an ERA of 11.50 as opposed to Davis' 13.37. Nonetheless, both managed to beat the former record set by Gunther O'Brian, and McKinley was additionally able to set a new record of batters walked at 247. The record would eventually be beaten in Season 16 by Parker Parra, though it should be noted that Parra played on a shorter rotation than the Georgias had at the time.
McKinley's strike continued into Season β15, though it was noted that McKinley's performance was showing marked improvements, which isn't saying much given they won two out of twenty games and finished with an ERA of 7.81. However, on average, McKinley was seen allowing far fewer runs, and walking fewer batters. The exact reasoning for this improvement is unknown. Some believe that due to the addition of the Move will, McKinley felt like their demands were being met as they had a clear path off the rotation. Others believe that as a result of partying in the previous season, the universe itself was trying to force McKinley to play better to match their star rating.
In Season β16, it would appear that McKinley's demands were met, being moved to the batting lineup and additionally gaining a new bat. However, this would be short-lived, as on Day 54, McKinley would be moved back to the rotation in a Reverb game against the Chicago Firefighters, and her bat would additionally be broken on Day 79. McKinley's strike immediately resumed, with her pitching the ball in the same way, to the same place, every time like an anticapitalist hero.
By the end of the season, McKinley managed to make the leaderboard for most batters walked on any pitcher, an impressive feat given that she had only been pitching for half the season. However, McKinley still managed to win four games, including a shutout against the Kansas City Breath Mints. That being said, one of these wins was in a Sun 2 game against the LA Unlimited Tacos, with the Tacos scoring 12 runs as opposed to the Georgias' 3. In the Season β16 elections, McKinley was moved once again to the batting lineup, now standing immediately next to Niq Nyong'o, something McKinley states is "absolutely perfect."
- Flattery McKinley's middle name is "Bea".
- McKinley has often been witnessed drinking "concerning" amounts of caffeinated Ooze, in an attempt to keep up at night to do more research. Some question if McKinley's restlessness has impact on their Blaseball performance.
- When Niq Nyong'o was Scattered after returning from Elsewhere, McKinley was the last member of the Atlantis Georgias to notice something was off, due to them being an Alternate. McKinley reportedly assumed the differences were unique to this dimension's version of Nyong'o, and ultimately brushed them off.
- While Nyong'o and McKinley are reportedly the exact same height, Nyong'o usually rounds down to 5'9" while McKinley usually rounds up to 5'10".
Artwork of Flattery McKinley's wedding outfit by @wayslidecool
Mini-Blaseballer by @HetreaSky
McKinley as the Knight of Cups tarot card, by @tiny_revel
Artwork of Flattery McKinley skanking by @wayslidecool