Finn James/IF-4.216

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Rumor / Community Lore
This article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community. It is just one of many Rumors that we've found in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill. You can find more Rumors about Finn James at their Rumor Registry.

Personal Life

Finn James was born and raised in Baltimore, MD, in Bolton Hill. She obtained a high school education with plans of college interrupted by her untimely drowning at the hands of the Olde One. She was deeply involved in her local community and was known for her work at local soup kitchens and food banks. A member of the Lemonstickratic Socialist Party, James’ arrest record was expunged upon what was assumed to be her death, but is suggested by her former associates to be “super long” as well as “totally awesome.”

In interviews, James has self-described as a femme lesbian. Though unmarried, she and partner Kennedy Loser, also a lesbian, have been living together since Season 4.


Before the return of Internet League Blaseball, Finn James fought alongside most of the Baltimore Crabs’ Season 1 lineup in the battle against the Olde One, and drowned in the process, presumed dead by those who knew her. On Season 4 Day 63, James awoke beneath the waters of the Inner Harbor and came to the epiphany that her old friends needed her. When Combs Duende was incinerated, James was able to muster the strength to return to the surface. When asked how this was possible, James credits only “the Power of Love.”

James did not have any significant experience playing blaseball aside from pickup games as a young adult. Because of this, her Season 4 batting average was 0.185. To great celebration in Baltimore as a whole, James became a pitcher in Season 5. She proved to vastly overperform her stars with a career WHIP of 0.881.

Though often overwhelmed by large press events and sometimes derided by reporters as closed-off or cold, James has slotted easily into the Crabs’ known active social lives. She and teammate Forrest Best were notably once seen causing significant disturbance at the Towson Mall food court following the Crabs’ Season 9 championship loss. Damage reports from the incident cite James as saying it was “an accident, really” and that she was “very sorry about the vending machines, you know how Forrest gets.”


Finn James was in stasis under the waters of Baltimore’s inner harbor for a questionable length of time, resulting in several physiological changes, including:

  • Sharp teeth that protrude slightly from her mouth
  • Pale blue-green skin
  • Gills on either side of the neck covered by some form of rudimentary operculum
  • Webbed fingers
  • An elongated facial spine with a photophore similar in behavior to that of an anglerfish
  • Ridged, pointed ears

These changes were under study by some Baltimore-local scientists prior to James’ ascension. It’s theorized that it could be a form of carcinization, perhaps as a form of defense against the persistent water pressure. James herself, when asked, rejects the idea that her transformation was related in any way to the Olde One, but has no alternate reasoning. No certain explanation has yet been found.

Return to the League

After Jame’s experiences in the Big Leagues with the rest of the Crabs, James stuck close to their teammates. As the season dragged on and the team began to experience a new set of hardships, James kept her spirits up and became an anchor for the team. After the haunting of Kennedy Loser she worked to keep the team’s spirits up - “moving in” with Adalberto Tosser after Brock Forbes was traded away to Boston, and making the new trades on the team feel welcome. None more so than Fish Summer who joined from the Moist Talkers, and was able to find a friend in James both as a a fellow enjoyer of eating strange things they found and being fond of challenging passers by to games of chicken in the Chesapeake bay that quickly devolved into the two of them chasing seagulls around when no one would challenge them. They also shared in quieter moments with James talking about her experiences with death and sacrifice in the Reckoning as Summer divulged their feelings about seeing York Silk’s incineration up close as a Fire Eater and being unable to prevent it.

Alleged Captaincy

After the departure of Adalberto Tosser to the Boston Flowers, James determined that she was now the most senior pitcher in the Crabs’ rotation, despite this not being the case (as Montgomery Bullock was still on the team at the time), and decided that it was her duty to act as new coach and pitching captain for the team. James’ coaching style has been described as “unorthodox” by some, and as “completely @#$% useless, absolute nonsense, I hate it here I hate this team” by others. According to Alston Cerveza, James’ prepared him for his first full game as a pitcher by giving him the advice; “just pitch a perfect game haha.” He did.

The Event Horizon

Despite her long blaseball career, the death of the Hawaii Fridays was the first incineration that James had ever witnessed in person. Despite knowing their slim odds due to their instability, James made sure they remained unharmed from the circling consumers while the Crabs played them in their final set of matches. James, much like the rest of the league, was deeply shaken by the team’s death, as well as her inability to defend Herring Winfield from consumers. After entering the shadows due to the Fax Machine, James took on a support role among the Crabs, drawing on her experience during the Uprising to help prepare them for the Horizon and the end of the era.