Elwin McGhee/Rumor Registry
Elwin McGhee has 5 Rumors written about so far.
The following accounts can be traced to a single leather-bound journal originally found in a locked wooden chest alongside a sextant-like device of indeterminate origin and a shell that matches no known species of mollusc. The chest was located in a storage room in the Legscraper’s lower levels that was described as “smelling faintly of the sea”. Subsequent attempts to locate and navigate to said room have been unsuccessful thus far. The journal details the exploits of the crew of a large sailing vessel, The Tokyo Adrift, descriptions of which are largely consistent with mid-17th century galleons.
With The Tokyo Adrift
Elwin McGhee is the nickname given by the crew of The Tokyo Adrift to a collection of assorted pests found aboard the vessel. McGhee was first discovered after the ship suffered heavy damage over several weeks due to infestations of shipworms and wood-boring beetles. The ship’s quartermaster first discovered heavy damage to the masts and ration storage of the ship, followed by Immateria flooding in the lower decks. Over the weeks, various methods were employed to deal with the pests but to no avail. Captain Strongbody, exasperated, said that he had yet to encounter a problem he could not reason with and headed down to the lower decks calling for a parley. Hours later, Strongbody emerged from the lower decks accompanied by a bipedal insectoid individual who was subsequently named Elwin by the crew.
McGhee and Captain Strongbody came to some form of agreement, the terms of which the journal’s writer was not privy to. However, following the parley, Elwin had been seen to join the crew during meal times where they were provided scrap timber and driftwood. Elwin was also described as helping the crew with the exploration of shipwrecks, utilising their shipworm colonies to bore through the hulls of sunken ships.
Visual descriptions of the exoskeleton are similar to modern day descriptions of ship-timber beetles of the Lymexylidae family, albeit an unusually large specimen. Housed within the external shell were colonies of beetles and shipworms. The writer was unable to get a clear answer from Elwin as to where they obtained the unnaturally large outer husk, though they did report amused chittering echoing from within the shell.The final pages of the journal mention the discovery of McGhee's empty husk, the hivemind of organisms within having scattered. Whether this change was a natural migration or a side effect of the anomalous weather patterns leading up to the [REDACTED] of 1667 is unclear as the pages are heavily damaged, likely having been chewed through by the larvae of some species of insect.
Elwin McGhee is a sentient being composed mostly of grass-fed butter. He typically takes the form of a dog (breed and size varies) or a block of butter about the size of a refrigerator. The butter McGhee is composed of is most similar in chemical makeup to ghee, a clarified butter invented in India. This butter has a low melting point, which can cause McGhee to liquefy during particularly warm weather.
This does not seem to bother McGhee at all, and he has been seen enthusiastically finishing team practice sessions as a puddle.
McGhee was recruited to the team by Val Hitherto, who accidentally attempted to use McGhee to butter his crumpet while on a brief vacation to the Butter Timeline. While in the Butter Timeline, McGhee worked as a bartender and a shepherd. He has been known to use his weekends to bartend or shepherd, so he doesn't get rusty.
McGhee occasionally speaks with a terrible Cockney accent. There is no discernible reason for this, as he has never been to England. He is, however, according to sources in Ireland, related to Celtic fae. He has reportedly been seen sitting in faerie circles, with an invisible force giving him pats on the head.
McGhee's butter has the strange effect of granting life to inanimate objects after prolonged exposure. So far, McGhee has been seen to grant life to:
- Multiple sweatbands
- At least two Lift uniforms
- One blaseball bat
- The lower half of the Lift stadium
The most notable example of this is the granting of sentience to Concrete Mandible, fellow lift player and former statue. This was accidental, and happened because Mandible's head was “a great napping spot,” according to McGhee.Mandible and McGhee remain good friends to this day, and Mandible will still occasionally take a nap with McGhee on its head.
Elwin McGhee is a member of an insect species colloquially known as a puppet-bug. When asked, McGhee has refused to provide details about the rest of its species, including a species name, a dimension of origin, or even physical description of other members of the species.
The most information McGhee has provided is on the culture of its species: while puppet-bugs are fairly intelligent, the species relies on physical strength to determine who is dominant. McGhee has proudly proclaimed that despite being small (at about 4’10”) it was one of the fastest and strongest in its society. It carries a harpoon gun at all times, for reasons it will not disclose. McGhee has implied, but never openly discussed, a culture of violence and a refusal to be seen as anything but the strongest.
During the Season 15 elections, the Tokyo Lift called an Alternate for Elwin McGhee, a player on the team. This alternate was McGhee, who was pulled through the dimensional wormhole left by the original McGhee’s departure.
McGhee was initially nothing but hostile to reporters and teammates. In its first (and, for several years, only) interview, it only said the following:
“I don’t know where I am. I don’t know what blaseball is. I don’t know who Elwin is. Leave me alone.”
Subsequent requests for information were met with threats of violence.
Time on the Tokyo Lift
The Lift supported McGhee despite its refusal to speak to any of its teammates. The first questions that it asked were about the original McGhee, so that it could differentiate itself as much as possible. McGhee began using she/her pronouns, first for the sake of distinction and then because she began to connect with femininity and its meaning in Japanese culture.
McGhee befriended Evelton McBlase II as soon as she joined the team. The both of them were alternates, and both came to identify as transgender women. They had a close relationship over feeling like they didn’t belong with the rest of the team, and over their desire to feel comfortable in their own bodies.Over time, McGhee began to recognize that the “survival of the fittest” mindset instilled in her by her home dimension was actually one of toxic strength. She has worked closely with her teammates to try and adjust her philosophy to the Lift’s ethos of mutual support. Through these efforts, McGhee has become closer with the rest of the team, and has begun referring to them as friends in interviews (which, in turn, she has begun holding again).
Yamini Kashyap is an amateur bug enthusiast and semi-professional mycologist from Bhopal, Madhya Pradesh, India. Within the ILB, Kashyap is legally known as Elwin McGhee because of her symbiotic bond with a fungus of the same name. In English, Kashyap uses she/they pronouns. In Hindi, Kashyap uses वह / उसे pronouns, and in Japanese she refers to herself as watashi and others refer to her with feminine pronouns.
From a young age Kashyap was fascinated with nature: when frequenting the lakes in and around Bhopal, rather than going swimming, they would examine the mushrooms growing nearby. They wanted to be a biologist, then an entomologist, and then finally a mycologist, which became their eventual career goal.
Kashyap was also an athletic child. They played field hockey throughout their teen years, and developed a personal interest in archery. When asked, Kashyap has refused to say whether they’re good at archery, saying that “the only measure of a bad archer is not hitting other people, and I don’t think I’ve done that yet.” She also had a vague childhood interest in blaseball, but it was distinctly second to the other sports she participated in.
In the early aughts, Kashyap moved to Indore to attend university for mycology. During that time she briefly met a traveling scholar who spent some time in Kashyap’s department. The two of them had a conversation about the ins and outs of chess strategy.
After a year and a half at uni, Kashyap moved back home to help support her family. Despite having to table her dreams of formal academia, they continued self-teaching and learning about mycology and occasionally entomology.
Kashyap eventually got a job at a local national park, coordinating with their wildlife preservation and education network. Kashyap gained a reputation as the “park mom,” as a mother to bugs, fungi, her coworkers, and visiting children. She turned down several opportunities to return to academia in favor of staying with the national park; now in her mid-40s, Kashyap has still not attained any type of formal degree, instead saying that nature itself is the best teacher.
Becoming Elwin McGhee
The being known as Elwin McGhee landed in Bhopal in 20XX. As the best local mycologist, Kashyap was called in to investigate McGhee, as it appeared to be fungal in nature. As soon as she touched McGhee the two became symbiotically bonded.
McGhee has provided a number of conflicting stories about its origins, including but not limited to the following:
- McGhee was bonded to a prior iteration of Elwin McGhee in the ILB and was left behind when it hopped dimensions;
- McGhee itself is from another dimension;
- McGhee is an earthbound phenomenon;
- McGhee is Kashyap’s headmate and not caused by an external circumstance;
- and McGhee is confused too and doesn’t know how it got here.
Shortly after the two of them were bonded, they were approached by ILB officials who said that they had been drafted as Elwin McGhee, and that they were being called as the alternate to an existing player of the same name. Neither Kashyap nor McGhee understood anything about the ILB, but the powers that be within the league insisted until they agreed, and the two of them joined the Tokyo Lift.
Even with their childhood knowledge of blaseball, Kashyap struggled with becoming a professional athlete, not in the least because it meant leaving their prior life behind. Kashyap and McGhee were both overwhelmed by their circumstances and faced difficulties in trying to fit in on the team. Kashyap was at least soothed by the presence of Stijn Strongbody, the traveling scholar from their youth, who encouraged them to fit in.
Following Strongbody’s incineration, Kashyap decided to take his advice to heart and embrace her circumstances. She was the first to befriend Evelton McBlase II and the alternate of Jessica Telephone when they arrived to the team. Kashyap also became a confidant for Gerund Pantheocide, the new co-captain of the team, when Pantheocide had difficulty with her newfound responsibility.
Kashyap and McGhee have both refused the title of “team mom,” saying that they did not feel especially maternal in their capacity on the team. Nonetheless, they’ve provided advice and emotional support to a number of teammates.
Kashyap is known for her two distinctive fashion styles and the occasional overlap between them. The first is a retro aesthetic, inspired by 1960s and 1970s Bollywood, which involves bright colors, polka dots, and the color yellow. The second is inspired by the shapes of fungi and mycelium leather; this appears to be more couture and is characterized by being natural, flowing, and a little uncomfortable to look at for too long.
Kashyap has been notably tight-lipped about her personal life, refusing to discuss her parents or any siblings, partners, or children that she might have outside of blaseball. When asked, Kashyap will share facts about fungi and mycology until whoever is asking gives up trying. The record for this is held by a tabloid reporter, who attempted to engage Kashyap in conversation for five hours and fifty-four minutes. Kashyap later expressed disappointment that he gave up before hitting 5:55.Kashyap has continued with her career in amateur archery. McGhee has been unhelpful in this career and offers bad advice, but Kashyap persists nonetheless.
Elwin McGhee was a member of the insect species dubbed Ductores pupae, colloquially known as a puppet-bug, that hailed from Universe JQZ-85-Σ. Scientific understanding of Ductores pupae is limited, as McGhee is the only member of his species that humans have come into contact with. As such, all current information on puppet-bugs is based on McGhee’s testimony.
Puppet-bugs are highly intelligent, being the dominant species of their native universe and one of a few known organisms to have mastered REDACTED. This allows them to travel to the immaterial plane as well as any other dimension. They are also very quick learners, exemplified by McGhee becoming semi-fluent in Japanese after only a few weeks of exposure.
Their most unique mannerism is that younger puppet-bugs (5-75 years old), which are small and vulnerable, often “pilot” their elders’ corpses by entering through a cavity in the back and seizing control of the body’s muscles. These corpses are resistant to decay and have sturdy shells which protect the young, helping them survive to maturity. Puppet-bugs often cover the exposed cavity with thick clothing for more complete security. McGhee himself played blaseball from within one of these corpses, which has been described by fans as “uncanny”, “strange”, and “not against the rules, I guess, but still a little disturbing to look at.”
Elwin McGhee originally arrived on the immaterial plane to investigate the multiversal anomalies caused by blaseball. After discovering the source, he wanted to study blaseball up close, so McGhee found Stijn Strongbody and joined the Tokyo Lift as a batter. Unfortunately, McGhee was at the time unaware that blaseball contracts are binding, and was forced to stay on the immaterial plane to play with the team. He has in the past admitted to “not being very happy about this”, but he still put effort into his in-game performance.
During the Season β15 elections, McGhee harnessed the power of the alternation system to escape back into the multiverse. They have not been seen since. Teammates, including Strongbody, have said that McGhee did not indicate to anyone that they planned on leaving.
Personal LifeDuring his time with the Lift, McGhee was good friends with Stijn Strongbody, and would often research topics or have in-depth scientific discussions with him. He also spent much of his time with Freemium Seraph and Concrete Mandible, who didn’t mind the fact that McGhee lived in a corpse. In his free time, McGhee was known to spend his time studying the immaterial plane’s ecology and culture and looking for ways to escape the immaterial plane.
Create New Rumor
To create a new Rumor for Elwin McGhee, use the Page Creation tool to the right. The IF number needs to be a randomly generated 4 or 5 digit number with a period placed somewhere within, and it cannot match any numbers currently used on this page. We've generated one for you to use, but feel free to use a different number. This will create a subpage under Elwin McGhee for inclusion in the main page. Visit Interdimensional Rumor Mill/Guide to read more about how to create a new Rumor.