Aldon Cashmoney

From Blaseball Wiki

Aldon Cashmoney is a lineup player for the Hades Tigers. Cashmoney joined the league with the Breckenridge Jazz Hands during Season 1 and was traded to the Hawai'i Fridays during the Season 7 Elections, then to the Tigers during the Season 8 Elections.

Official League Records

In the playoffs of Postseason 2, Day 104 against the Hades Tigers, the Jazz Hands were down 4-3 against the Tigers. Jazz Hands player Comfort Septemberish successfully stole home in the bottom of the 9th inning, bringing the score to a 4-4 tie. Cashmoney then hit a 2-run home run on the following pitch, securing victory for the Jazz Hands with a final score of 6-4, advancing the team to the next stage of the playoffs.

During the Coffee Cup, Cashmoney played for the Americano Water Works as a lineup player.

Season 7

At the end of Season 7, Cashmoney was traded to the Hawai'i Fridays for Elijah Valenzuela through the Popular by Association blessing.

Season 8

On game 57, Kennedy Meh siphoned some of Cashmoney's defensive ability, dropping it to 1.5 stars.

During the Season 8 elections, Cashmoney was traded to the Hades Tigers for Spears Taylor through the Blind Date blessing.

Season 9

On day 10 of Season 9, Cashmoney hit into fielder's choice and then immediately stole second, third, and home before a single pitch was thrown.[1]. During the Season 9 election, Cashmoney became Spicy due to the Seattle Garages winning the Hot Sauce Bar blessing.


COMMUNITY LORE

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Personality & Appearance

Cashmoney is known for only hitting triples, as per vis namesake. Ve has become a role model for many younger Jazz Hands fans, as they strive to make their behavior in life a little more Cashmoney.

Cashmoney wears the jersey number $1,000,000. Vis hair is made of money.

History

Debut

When first joining the ILB, Cashmoney was known for vis love of material pleasures. Ve often spent large sums of money on fancy meals and expensive vacations, and maintained a large violin collection despite typically only playing vis Stradivarius. Despite this, ve was not known for being particularly insufferable; ve would readily cover friends' meals, made regular donations to charity, and bought many gifts for vis teammates. When asked to describe Cashmoney in an interview, Bevan Underbuck replied, "Oh, vim? I mean, ve's really just a vimbo. A wealthy vimbo, but still a kind-hearted vimbo, through and through."

Open Mic Night

During the Jazz Hands' Open Mic Night, Cashmoney was confronted with the changeover of many teammates in rapid succession. After the Feedback of Hendricks Richardson and Randall Marijuana, ve said in an interview, "Nothing against the new folks, but things just really aren't the same. I'm sure I'll get used to it in time, but I'll miss Comfort's jingle-shouting all the same." Ve refused interviews after both Marijuana's incineration and the third trade of Nagomi Mcdaniel for Holden Stanton, and ve stopped going to vis regular restaurants or vacation destinations. Many attribute vis poor performance in Season 7 to the high emotional toll Cashmoney experienced during Open Mic Night.

Hawai'i Fridays

At the end of season 7, Cashmoney wanted a fresh start, to see the world from a new angle. It was, as ve said, island time. The Hawai'ian lifestyle, blessed by Our Lady of Perpetual Friday, let Cashmoney live at a slower pace, with a cool drink in one hand and a blaseball in the other. Ve sponsored a local Kahiko troupe and sponsored a free beachside Rebecca Black concert to celebrate the end of season 8.

On the field, as one of the most talented players at the club, Cashmoney gave the fans a second talismanic star player to rally around, especially when York Silk was grounded by his mother due to season 8's peanut-related incident.

Hades Tigers

Aldon Cashmoney transferred to the Hades Tigers when, wildly misunderstanding the point of a "Tiger for a Day" charity auction, ve bought every single lot at forty times initial price, landing vim a permanent spot on the Tigers' roster. Vis office sent out the following release to the press regarding the mixup:

From the desk of Aldon Killin-It Cashmoney,

HELL YEAH I'M. GONNA PLAY ALL THE GAMES. THAT SOUNDS FUN AS HELL. LIVE FAST GET CASH.

Cashmoney has since set up in a lavish high-rise in Midtown Elysium, and started with the Tigers in Season 9.

Cashmoney has often been seen in public with Hades, who in addition to being the god of the underworld, is also known as the god of wealth due to the immense riches of the underworld. Said Hades, "it's nice to have someone around who understands the difficulties of being unbelievably wealthy."

Trivia

  • Aldon Cashmoney owns one of every boat.
  • Aldon Cashmoney fields with a satin glove.
  • Aldon Cashmoney's wealth is valued in Cashmoneybux (CMB), vis personal currency. Current exchange rate is $1 CMB to $12,000 USD.
  • When asked where vis incredible wealth stems from, Cashmoney only flexed and said, "These guns, sonnnnnnn." Then, ve proceeded to pose for a half hour while dozens of professional photographers flooded in from an unseen location.
  • When ve sleeps, Aldon Cashmoney does not dream, because ve is already living it.
  • Aldon Cashmoney and Hades share the same tailor. It is unknown if Hades used this connection to lure Cashmoney to the Tigers.

Gallery

References