Dasyuridae/Sutty bish test

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History

Sutton Bishop, the player, is the only way the inhabitants of Bishop Sutton can interact with the outside world. It's a goose. It's absolutely ripped. And it only has one setting: Blaseball.

Alexander Horne

Bishop Sutton (grid reference ST587597) was a small village within the Chew Valley in Somerset. It lay east of Chew Valley Lake and north east of the Mendip Hills, approximately ten miles south of Bristol on the A368, Weston-super-Mare to Bath road. Bishop Sutton and the neighbouring village of Stowey formed the civil parish of Stowey Sutton until THE SUMMONING occurred.

Following on from THE SUMMONING, Bishop Sutton is now a small village located within a quaint British pocket dimension. There is no known way to enter or exit Bishop Sutton. The neighbouring village of Stowey is now confused, but will get over the loss with time.

They played for the Hellmouth Sunbeams through Sutton Bishop, a shape-shifting construct with a cricket bat.

THE SUMMONING

During a local bly-election, the people of Bishop Sutton found themselves inexplicably voting for an alternative option on their ballot paper known as "THE SUMMONING" the results were as follows:

The Bishop Sutton Bly-Election
Name Party Total Votes Placed
THE SUMMONING UNKNOWN 458 1st
Mrs. Bishop Sutton-Dripping The Popular People's Party of Bishop Sutton 0 2nd
Mr. Bishop Sutton-Sedgewick The Bishop Sutton Liberation Front 0 2nd
Lord Bishop Sutton III The Bishop Sutton Independence Party 0 2nd
Rev. Bishop Sutton-Robinson The Labour Party 0 2nd
Miss Bishop Sutton Jr. The Liberal Democrats 0 2nd
Mr Bishop Sutton Jr. The Conservative and Unionist Party 0 2nd
Spoiled Ballots - 5 -

Immediately after the count, the village and all of its inhabitants found themselves transported into a pocket dimension, where all roads led back to the village itself. When this even happened is down to debate, as no one can remember a time before THE SUMMONING.

Since THE SUMMONING, no human being has been able to leave Bishop Sutton, regardless of how hard they try—but the village elders wonder why anyone would actually want to leave, as Bishop Sutton is absolutely lovely, has won Village of The Year on several occasions in the past, and is a contender for this year's Britain in Bloom competition.

The Sun's Blessing

The Sun, taking pity on the now lost village, created an avatar for them to control known as Sutton Bishop. The Sun searched the village to build an entity strong enough to be imbued with the wishes of every villager; it looked at the people, the animals, the plants and the buildings of Bishop Sutton for inspiration.

The power of The Sun coupled with the strange desires of the people of Bishop Sutton produced the quasi-shape-shifting avatar known as Sutton Bishop. A mysterious psychic connection was made between the avatar and the local pub The Hellmouth that allowed anyone within the pub to have some control over Bishop (providing they were over the legal drinking age).

During the events of Emmett Internet's incineration, a minor hellmouth opened in the basement of the pub, connecting the village to the outside world for the first time since THE SUMMONING. The minor hellmouth was just the right size to allow Bishop to escape the village into the real world. Bishop arrived on the field shortly after the incineration. Some technical difficulties were had due to the strange reverberations of the new minor Hellmouth opening in the vicinity of the Bishop Sutton Hellmouth Pub, resulting in the confusion of fans and villagers alike as the new Bishop took up their bat for the Sunbeams.

Shortly after Bishop joined the team, Sunbeams pitcher Sandoval Crossing offered to have the avatar move in with them. The pair became roommates and grew quite close. The avatar spent most of its free time on the ball field, within Sigmund Castillo's walls, or hanging out with Crossing at their apartment in the Hellmouth.

The Hellmouth Pub

The Hellmouth pub in Bishop Sutton, serving up Beverage. By Dottie.

In order to control Bishop, the villagers of Bishop Sutton gathered in the village's pub, the Bishop Sutton Hellmouth Pub. The pub was always called the Hellmouth Pub, of course, and every day the villagers would always show up to cheer on their avatar.

Pub-goers were able to watch the antics of Sutton Bishop via a small, cheap box TV with dodgy satellite reception. The collective mood and energy of the crowd of Blaseball watchers drove Bishop, directing their movements and actions, though the avatar inside occasionally fought back and went off to do their own thing.

Strangely, the Bishop Sutton Model Village and Tea Gardens does not have a model of The Hellmouth Pub where The Hellmouth Pub should be, instead it has some kind of dark, foreboding smear that gives you a headache if you look at it for too long.

The Mechanics of Sutton Bishop

Sutton Bishop's behaviour varied wildly depending on which villagers were currently in the pub, how drunk they were, and whether or not the avatar's brain inside Bishop's shape-shifting body had assumed direct control.

When controlled by the villagers, Sutton Bishop tended to be a reasonably decent creature. But due to the differing opinions of the people controlling them, they would wildly swing between different choices, moods and opinions.

When controlled by the avatar, the entity known as Sutton Bishop was referred to as "it" or "that horrible thing" by those around it. The change in personality was dramatic and terrifying, as Bishop gave into the beast within. In this state Sutton Bishop was extremely unpredictable, often reverting to a goose-like form, stealing objects, honking loudly, and mutating into unspeakable shapes of feathery terror.

There are those who have asked if the avatar of Sutton Bishop has a gender. It does. It has your gender. It took it when you were not looking and ran off with it. You can never catch it now.

Known Forms

  1. A Horrible Goose with Multiple Tentacles
  2. A Horrible Goose With Multiple Heads
  3. A Bizarre Combination of 1 and 2
  4. An Elemental Made From Sod and Loam
  5. A Handsome Forest Elemental
  6. A Pub With Legs
  7. A Tombola Machine

Incineration

Bishop was incinerated in extra innings on Season 13, Day 98, following the incineration of Breckenridge Jazz Hands hitter Combs Estes in the same game. This was the second double incineration in a game between the Jazz Hands and Sunbeams. The game ended one out after Bishop's death.

After the loss of Bishop, the Sunbeams have often been seen wearing white feathers to commemorate their teammate. Sandoval Crossing has been quoted as saying that Hellmouth "isn't the same" without the presence of "that horrible goose". Bishop is remembered in many ways around the league. A spot is always left open for it in the Randall Marijuana Memorial Cat Café, and it has a pond dedicated to its memory in the Augusta Chadwell Memorial Park and Promenade. Multiple teams have held on to the anti-goose protection spray gifted to them by the Sunbeams, not willing to let it go just yet.


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