Coolname Galvanic

From Blaseball Wiki

Coolname Galvanic is a lineup player for the Tokyo Lift, and has been with the team since the Season 10 elections.

Official League Records

Galvanic joined the ILB as a pitcher for the Tokyo Lift during the Season 10 elections after the Ascension of the Baltimore Crabs.

During the Season 13 elections, Galvanic received a combined stat change of 8.9 -> 14.2 as a result of the Lift's Infuse will.

On Season 21, Day 78, Galvanic retreated to the Lift's Shadows in exchange for Domino Bootleg via the Tokyo Fitness Center's Fax Machine. On Season 21, Day 87, Galvanic joined the Lift's lineup in exchange for Nandy Slumps at the Tokyo Fitness Center via the Ratified Voicemail.

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Box of Coolname Galvanic Files

Dust billows as the file box lands on the table. While many archives in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill are unified in some way, this... definitely isn’t one of them. The accompanying Rumor Registry explains all of the contents... wherever it is... but for now you grab the folder labelled IF-1667 and start reading...

The waters beyond this point are uncharted, tales from distant shores echoed back into our reality.


The following accounts can be traced to a single leather-bound journal originally found in a locked wooden chest alongside a sextant-like device of indeterminate origin and a shell that matches no known species of mollusc. The chest was located in a storage room in the Legscraper’s lower levels that was described as “smelling faintly of the sea”. Subsequent attempts to locate and navigate to said room have been unsuccessful thus far. The journal details the exploits of the crew of a large sailing vessel, The Tokyo Adrift, descriptions of which are largely consistent with mid-17th century galleons.

With The Tokyo Adrift

Voyages on the Immateria Seas are rife with dangers untold especially to the unsuspecting sailor. Aside from the expected difficulties associated with months-long sea voyages, the journal outlines the hazards posed by localised weather events endemic to the region. Of these, the entries describe Rogue Waves to be among the most feared and dreaded by any experienced seafarer, seemingly coinciding with the new moon (or possibly lunar eclipses; as one entry describes, “darkness fell, as if the moon herself were afraid of what was to come", however whether this refers to an ecliptical event or cloud cover is the subject of much debate). Rogue Waves were known to cause heavy damage to the hulls of sailing vessels, but more significant was their tendency to sweep members of the crew away without a trace, only for the ships to find a fresh stowaway on board. Yet another report in the journal describes sightings of mysterious entities contemporaneously appearing with rogue wave events. The journal collectively refers to these entities as “Arbiters”, and while references are sparse and secondhand, they are often described as vaguely humanoid with glowing eyes and constantly dripping with Immateria.

A sailor met by the writer while on shore leave shared the following:

I saw it rise from the seas, like Davy Jones himself come to take joy in our misery. The figure watched as our whole damn ship nearly capsized. Johnson never stood a chance. Then, it produced a small book from its cloak, made a single tally mark and directly locked eyes with me before sinking back beneath the waves.

Descriptions of Coolname Galvanic share many similarities to that of these arbiters. The writer never received verbal confirmation of this assertion from Galvanic, but describes seeing “flashes of light from behind its large black eyeglasses, especially when tempers flared”. Galvanic was consistently depicted as wearing eyeglasses, the lenses of which appear to have been made of smokey quartz or a polarising crystal similar in composition to navigator Yusef Fenestrate’s fingers. A crew member grabbed by Galvanic for stability when the vessel was rocked by large waves was surprised to find “ring shaped marks left on the skin where contact was made, similar to the skin of an octopus’ prey”.

Galvanic joined the crew of The Tokyo Adrift following a near miss with a Rogue Wave. It was found washed up on the quarterdeck whereupon it promptly stood up, adjusted “a comically large tricorne hat” and introduced itself to Captain Strongbody, beginning negotiations for a contract of its employment. Following this event, Galvanic managed the ledgers of the ship, working alongside its quartermaster, showing a remarkable understanding of maritime and trade law and an ability to draft watertight contracts.

The question of Galvanic’s lineage would arise again when numerous [REDACTED] approaching the vessel and it was forced to employ its [REDACTED], defending [REDACTED] further damage. Despite the apparent lack of actual seawater (the seas are described as being composed of Immateria), the last page of the journal is heavily water-damaged and rendered unreadable.