Coolname Galvanic

From Blaseball Wiki

Coolname Galvanic is a lineup player for the Tokyo Lift, and has been with the team since the Season β10 elections.

Official League Records

Galvanic joined the ILB as a pitcher for the Tokyo Lift during the Season β10 elections after the Ascension of the Baltimore Crabs.

During the Season β13 elections, Galvanic received a combined stat change of 8.9 14.2 as a result of the Lift's Infuse will.

On Season β21, Day 78, Galvanic retreated to the Lift's Shadows in exchange for Domino Bootleg via the Tokyo Fitness Center's Fax Machine. On Season 21, Day 87, Galvanic joined the Lift's lineup in exchange for Nandy Slumps at the Tokyo Fitness Center via the Ratified Voicemail.

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Box of Coolname Galvanic Files

Dust billows as the file box lands on the table. While many archives in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill are unified in some way, this... definitely isn’t one of them. The accompanying Rumor Registry explains all of the contents... wherever it is... but for now you grab the folder labelled IF-36.952 and start reading...


Stories from Coolname Galvanic’s time as a former rogue umpire are few and far between, so much so that some fans still express skepticism that it ever was a rogue umpire. However, there is some official documentation proving that Galvanic was an ILB employee in some capacity. When asked, Galvanic said that it joined active play to get away from its prior job, and has refused to explicitly say what that position was.

On the Tokyo Lift

Galvanic joined the newly formed Tokyo Lift at their inception, shortly after the fall of the Shelled One during Season 10. It promptly found a niche in the pitching rotation and, despite being registered as a one-star pitcher, immediately began pitching its ruthless heart out. Although it performed well, it didn’t acclimate to the team well, mostly choosing to stay to the outskirts of the social life.

Galvanic’s first friendship on the team was with Gerund Pantheocide, whose excitability made a perfect counterbalance to Galvanic’s placidness. Through Pantheocide, it made friends with the rest of the team, most notably the “Brokyo” clique alongside Pantheocide, Yusef Fenestrate, Grollis Zephyr, and Val Hitherto.

After several consecutive seasons as a pitcher (and gaining a reputation as a “bet-breaker” for fans who bet against it), Galvanic was sent to the Shadows via Fax Machine. Galvanic, who deals with hypermobility, expressed relief at the time to take a break and let its joints recover. The break was short-lived, and a week later it joined the team’s lineup via Voicemail. It still claimed this was better for its joints, and has become a staple of the lineup.

Within the Lift, Galvanic had a reputation for preferring rules and structure. In an interview, it noted that “that’s why I stayed a pitcher for so long; it was hell on my joints, but I had command of the field.” During the events of Season 24, Galvanic was visibly stressed at all times by the lack of control. Nonetheless, its wisdom about the inner workings of the ILB granted the team better insight and better luck as they navigated to the Horizon.


Galvanic, on first glance (and indeed on most glances) is human. It has Marfan syndrome, meaning that it is tall, skinny, and has hypermobile joints; it’s also Albino and is very pale. Galvanic wears eclectic clothing, preferring long sleeves, long pants, broad-brimmed sunhats, and gloves. Whether those clothing items form a cohesive outfit depends on the day. It typically wears its own clothing instead of a Lift uniform, and the uniform it does wear uses natural fibers rather than synthetic, due to a sensitivity.

Galvanic also wears mirrored sunglasses with almost every outfit. Some fans have speculated that it’s trying to hide its eyes.

Personal Life

Galvanic is Japanese and resistant to the idea of gender; in English it uses it/its pronouns, and in Japanese it prefers an informal conversational style and refers to itself with orae/omae pronouns. Galvanic is also autistic, and has sensitivities to texture (particularly clothing and food) and physical touch.

For several decades Galvanic has lived with teammate Yusef Fenestrate. The two went on a singular date to a local Costco before realizing they were both aromantic, and breaking up amicably in favor of being close friends. Fenestrate is one of few allowed to touch Galvanic, and Galvanic has converted to Islam after living with Fenestrate.